Order of the Alicorn Update #10 · 10:18pm Oct 6th, 2018
Hello again, back with another update.
So I know that the last update may have been a bit underwhelming for most of you, but I am glad to report that things are looking up this time, in a sense.
To elaborate on what was going on with the last update, I was reviewing one of the chapters I had previously finished (what is currently chapter 4 of Sweetie Devil) and noticed a small detail that seemed a little off. Basically, I had placed some foreshadowing in this chapter for an event that will happen later on in the story, much later on, like we're talking what's currently happening between Vinyl and Sweetie Belle later. Anyway, I was looking at this bit of foreshadowing I had placed and decided that I didn't like it. One, because it was about as subtle as a sledgehammer and two, because it was way too early to be hinting towards this particular plot point. After I realized this I decided to take this bit of foreshadowing out, but there was just one problem.
Taking the foreshadowing out would mean I'd have to rewrite a small portion of this chapter, and a large section of the chapter before it. Which is what I basically spent all of the last update time doing. Now thankfully, this little side track is behind me and I've begun focusing more on the current chapters (The one I gave a preview of two updates ago) I've made some progress on this chapter, though nothing significant enough to share with you all yet.
That being said, I do feel as though I owe you something for not being able to produce as much this update, so I'm going to give you a small preview of the chapter I just finished rewriting, (which will be spoilered, for those who don't want everything revealed yet.)
So I hope you enjoy this.
Peace out.
“What other powers does she have? Can she shoot lasers out of her eyes?”
“Nothing so crude. She certainly wouldn’t have allowed it to escape my notice if she did possess such an ability.”
“Oh, what about turning invisible? Can she do that?”
“Not to my knowledge, though it certainly would be useful if she could.”
“How about mind reading? Or teleportation? Or lightning powers?”
“How about getting blood stains out of vanilla white fur? Can she do that one?”
Apple Bloom gives me a sharp glance from her resting spot outside the pond. I do my best to say sorry with my eyes and smile against the mushy bar of soap in my mouth, really more of a lumpy pound of dragon fat mixed with some herbs in the forest, but it certainly tastes just as bad, maybe a little worse. Part of me suspects Rarity was more concerned with punishing me than rinsing off the dragon blood when she threw together this shit.
Oh, sorry, not shit. Smelly, disgusting, rotting, foul, rancid, taste of cancer, that my sister dares to call soap. I don’t want to use mean words after all.
“That would certainly be ideal for our current circumstances, but I’m sure you’ll find we’re quite capable of doing that ourselves.” Rarity levitates another ball of water and pours it down Scootaloo’s side. She’s very careful not to go anywhere near her broken hoof.
“In less extreme circumstances I would’ve rushed to rinse off this fine coat before the blood could dry, but since time was against us we need to soak these stains carefully if we are to remove them without causing any damage, which I simply refuse to allow to befall you darling.”
Apple Bloom tilts her head and glances at Rarity. “It sounds like this ain’t the first time you’ve done something like this. This ain’t a regular thing with you and yer sister is it?”
Rarity bites her lip. “Once. Me and Sweetie Belle had a lengthy conversation about cleaning up before she got home, and the consequences of tracking bloodstains on the carpet.”
The wrath of Celestia and then some.
“Oh! What about shooting fire? Can she do that?” Scootaloo asks pushing against Rarity’s hooves.
Rarity rolls her eyes. “I believe she mentioned being able to do something if the sort. Am I correct, Sweetie Belle?”
I lift my hoof up and channel demonic energy through it. My soaked fur begins to sizzle and steam until a spark of fire ignites at the tip of my hoof and envelopes my entire arm up to the shoulder.
Scootaloo stares at this with an admiration and awe I’ve only seen in her during one of Rainbow Dash’s stunt shows.
“That is so cool!” she shouts. “Can you do that with your whole body? Can you shoot fireballs and stuff like that?”
I get a giant snake like grin at that question.
“Sweetie, don’t you dare!” Rarity chides.
“I fuzzn’t guna,” I say through the soap.
“I saw that look.”
I lower my hoof down and let the flames go out. I smile sheepishly and focus on scrubbing the stains off my own body, which compared to Rarity and Scootaloo are caked on in layers.
Is there a reason you only tag Order in you updates when Sweetie Devil has more viewers? If it's a rewrite of both stories wouldn't it make since to tag the one with more readers? Also, when the rewrite is done, have you decided if they will be combined yet?
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My logic was to tag Order since that story is under going a full rewrite, while most of Sweetie is only having certain chapters rewriten while the rest are just going to be edited to fit the new story. I may consider tagging in the future though.
Right now I'm leaning more towards combining them.
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I figured you were leaning towards combining them. Which is why I brought up Sweetie Devil, if you combine them into one story, then it would be a total rewrite of Sweetie Devil as well, technically. Also, as I said, you would reach more people with your updates.
Anyways, I can't wait! Really excited to read this again once you are done!