Announcements and Storytime, Yay! · 6:47am Sep 30th, 2018
First the announcements, I will be starting the scheduled Updates this monday, from their the schedule will continue as I have already stated and now STORYTIME!
This happened to me several years ago. It was before I met the love of my life and before my mother had passed. At the time I was single and while I was never a true socialite, my nature is to talk to everyone and I was pretty active within what can politely be called my scene. Young Degenerates destined for trouble was perhaps more accurate. This particular evening I was bullshiting with a group of which I only knew one, a certain woman of Asian descent whose name was Mei Ling. The rest of the group were her friends and her younger brother. I have no idea of their names, we are lucky I remembered Mei's. Well, Mei had an issue and it was this. She had watched the Alien trilogy and it had scared her so badly that she would have night terrors about it. Particularly about the chest busting scene. Night Terrors that would leave her screaming, something I, someone that slept on her couch on more than one occasion can well testify too.
Well on this date we were all lounging around bullshiting and argueing about some stupid topic that no one was going to remember or care about the next day let alone years later. I have had more than one shot of whiskey and I was starting on a bottle of Romannoff Vodka. At this point her brother, that we all disliked, got up and claimed that he had to go to work. We all rejoiced and toasted his leaving, asking only that he not let the door hit him on the way out. He walks from the room, a couple of moments later Mei's shirt begins to bulge violently forward. A shape forms and amidst a shower of gore a chest burster punches out of her chest. Mei screams and falls to the floor. I am the first to rise, because I knew such a thing could not be real and tore the now ruined shirt from Mei, revealing that it had been, merely a crudely made prostethic that had been cleverly hidden. It had been activated by what appeared to be a timer triggered by a wireless deadman's switch. So in short, her brother triggered it by leaving the room as he was the only one of us to do so for the length of time it would require for the timer to activate. I sought to comfort Mei by removing the Prosthetic from the room and then telling her that it was gone and she was safe. This Was A Mistake. Mei in her blind panic latched onto my arm. As we had not been planning on going anywhere she was not wearing a bra and with her shirt ruined and her rather ample breasts it meant that she had my arm held between them. She was holding onto my arm so tightly that for the duration I lost all feeling in my hand. Another problem arose, Mei had a rather large boyfriend named Johnny, I never knew his last name, Johnny was both protective of Mei and scared me on a primal level. He was bigger, stronger, and smarter than I was by magnitudes I can scarcely consider. He had never threatened me and indeed was unfailingly polite to me. It did not stop the fact that whenever I was in his presence I had the innate desire to wet myself in terror. Mei was topless, latched onto me, in a fear induced panic, and Johnny was due to arrive within an hour. By the time he walked in I had tried everything short of a crowbar to remove Mei. None of the other people there even tried to help me! They thought it was funny and cute. Where as I knew my death was approaching.
Soon Johnny entered the building, walking into the room he looked at me, and sighed. I imediately held up my one hand in surrender and said "Johnny I can explain."
His eyes narrow and he said, "This about that prostetic I saw in the other room?"
"Yes" I answered.
"You have anything to do with it?"
"No"
Johnny turned his head and looked at all the others in the room, wisely they were very quiet. He than turned his attention back to me.
"She glomped onto you because you got it off her and tried to talk her down and now she won't let go?"
"Yes." I was beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel and I had no wish to ruin it by adding more information than was required. For instant he had no reason to now that Mei had at this point wrapped her legs around my arm and I had to contort my almost bloodless hand away from her to avoid touch a very bad area and despite the numbness such a position was rather painful.
"Her Brother is the one that did this?"
"Yes."
Johnny then nodded and said, "Well, Okay then."
At this point I turned to Mei and said, rather loudly, "Mei, Johnny is here."
To this day I swear Mei teleported. One minute she seemed intent on being the torniqute that was going to make me an amputee and the next she had wrapped her arms around Johnny and she was escorting her from the room. I left shortly thereafter.
A couple days later I happened to be at a party someone was throwing. Their was booze and one of us had been appointed bar tender. In walked Mei's brother. I immediately stood in front of him and proclaimed loudly to all.
"You have vioplated the sacred bonds of family and the sacred laws all true pranksters hold themselves to. I stand before you not as that as I am, but that as I was. For in my past lives I have been many. The one that I call forth right now be none other the Loki as his aspect of Ragnarok. As a consequence of fate I curse thee, curse thee to have Zero Luck for it was Luck alone that guarunteed thy sister was uninjured and did not require medication or councilling for what thou did." Turning and walking back to the bar I called for my favored dring, a Vile Russian, Vodka, Coke and Kahlua. then proceeded to sip it and watch. At first he scoffed and several others did as well, but then the first of his chairs collapsed, when none could find a source of such failiure. His drinks turned sour in his glass, yet those poured from the same bottle were untainted. Soon he fled bemoaning that it was merely coincidence, but over the next two weeks did he not meet with peace and soon he even suffered at the job site as his luck of zero plauged him even there.
So the young man, after two weeks of sufering approached me again.
"Please," He Beseached, "Please remove this curse you have placed upon me. I have learned my lesson, I beg of you Oh Ragnarok Loki, have mercy."
I turned to him and infomed him, "I have no power to remove the curse, indeed I had no power to give it. It was as a Consequence of Fate that you acquired it. Fate chose to reach through me and punish you for your transgression. I have no more control over what happens then you do. But despair not, for according to the terms you just need to last out the month. On the 31rst day will the curse leave as the debt you incurred to fate will have been paid."
Nodding his head he retreated, but again chairs failed underneath him and no drink would not sour for him. So he left and never again did he enter my presence.
At this point a coven three did approach me and ask if they might accompany me. As they were all Lovers of Woman as was I, I felt no complication. Thus for the next month they drove, bought me drinks and food, and made sure that I arrived home safely. However after a month an event happened. An individual of the stupid kind, nowhere near as evolved a being as I was, one night began to bother those women while in my presence. So I approached, and grabbing him placed one finger upon his head and this a read mark did appear. The rune of pain I did place upon him. Turning to a mirror he turned back.
"What is this upon my brow?" He demanded.
Again I grabbed him and placing a different finger upon him induce pain through out his mind.
"This is the Rune of Pain" I said as he gasped, "I placed it here because you have bothered the freinds of Ragnarok Loki and Thus brought this upon yourself. Now go, the rune will leave on its own, but do not bother again my friends lest I do something much worse,"
Nodding the individual fled and going to return to those that had brought me I saw that they all had bowed, praiseing my divinity. At this point I felt the truth was in order.
"It is time for a confession," I said. "I made up being Ragnarok Loki, made up the very concept. The curse when you first met me was just me being the center point for a group to prank an indivual that had gone to far in his won pranking and hurt someone we all cared for. I was merely the main organizier and prepared most of the sabotage that he encoutntered, The rest he did to himself in his fear and anxiety. As for what happened just now?"
I showed them the palm of the hand I had used, pulling the fake skin of off my middle finger I said, "The paint that was under this false fingerprint was laced with Iron and Magnet dust making it conductive." Then removing the fake skin from my ring finger I exposed a wire and electrode. "This allowed me to conduct electricity through it, the rubber soles of my boots protected me, so you see it was merely science and cleverness that allowed me to pull these tricks. I assumed you knew, it was only in this moment that I realized you were all taking this a little too seriously."
To my astonishment, they said as one. "Whether it was science or magic that thee used it was the spirit of Ragnarok Loki that you channeled to create and use it, for no mere mortal could create such a thing without divine inspiration. So we ask your blessing that we might not fall what Ragnarok comes for us all.
I found another way home and stayed as far from those fruit loops as possible. And thus my tale has ended, and I shall retire to slumber lest I pass out in this chair. Goodnight all and as always.
ALL HAIL THE HOUSE OF REN!!!!!
Noice. I do wonder though, how she had a prosthetic attached to herself without being aware of it, but stranger things have happened. I suppose he could have attached it to her clothing, rather than her? Still, little shit got what was coming to him. Nice job being an instrument of karma, there, Minaren!
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He did her laundry and it was indistinguishable, had the chemical reaction that triggered it not been so violent she would have been fine. Still thing was a work of art and required an artful reply. Otherwise looked like a exact replica of her favorite shirt. He's very lucky I didn't rebuild my automated gasoline powered arbalest, complete with laser trigger and fire bolts containing my personal mix of stink juice at him. The funny part is I only hit him in a couple of areas, his own anxiety did the rest. I will never hit someone at work, goes against my code. So any problems he had there were just his own mind causing him to screw up.
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And, it is always amazing just how much damage we can do to ourselves through our own paranoia. Belief is a powerful thing, indeed.
Damn, you gotta be a pretty big dirtbag to put that much effort into pranking your own sister.
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Indeed it is Fyren, Indeed it is. I honestly hope he learned his lesson, I haven't seen any if them in forever, but I would always rather correct someone's bad behavior than punish them for it. I always want to give the opportunity to learn. Besides, some of my own reactions have not always been the best so I can hardly judge others. If I continue this you will probably find that out. Just think, this was me holding back, imagine what I can and will do when I decide not to.