The Thing (2011) · 7:39am Aug 25th, 2018
Have you ever heard a question that was idiotic from someone that should know better? I'm sure we've all been there. You and a few folks possibly good friends are sitting around. Maybe you've had a couple. Maybe the game is on or you're playing a game of some sort. Then from out of nowhere someone asks that question. Everything grinds to a halt and one or more of you have to explain to the questioner the answer.
Sometimes it ends up being no big deal. Sometimes it's just a misunderstanding or they misheard something. Other times though you really have to go back through what's going on and explain things. Twilight Sparkle asked such a stupid question when she asked Chancellor Neighsay, "How can friendship be used as a weapon?"
Alright. I'll bite.
Friendship as a weapon. Twilight, that face beam you and your buddies shoot at whatever big bad is threatening the land in whatever two part episode you shoot it in is weaponized friendship. Each virtue of the Elements of Harmony is a part of the magic of friendship. Then magical power is used to unite them and create a beam which can be used to vanquish one's foe in one form or another. If any one of those elements is missing the beam does not work because it's not truly friendship.
Other alliances on the show have yielded results for those who get into them as well. Friendship, especially on this show is very powerful. It can be weaponized and has been used that way. For the Princess of Friendship not to recognize this and ask such a question is almost as foolish as dragging a frozen alien back to your research base, drilling a hole into it and not worrying about issues it could cause.
You saw the title.
The 2011 version of The Thing is a prequel to the John Carpenter movie also entitled The Thing. In this version we follow the events at the Norwegian research outpost that lead up to the events in Carpenter's movie. Critics were largely dismissive of the movie as were audiences who after the first weekend flocked to pretty much anything other than this movie.
I'd argue this isn't a bad movie. Not by a long shot. The acting isn't terrible and I even liked a couple of the characters. The special effects are fairly middle of the road for 2011. They weren't impressive but they didn't take me out of the movie too much either.
The problems with this movie are that it doesn't have a real reason to be and really doesn't establish itself as its own movie. It borrows heavily from the 1982 movie and other stuff like Aliens which is to its detriment. Also, because it's a prequel it can't really establish its own creeping terror or suspense. Most audiences would be familiar with the previously mentioned version and know the ending before we get to it. The movie also needed a tighter cast of characters.
When a guy is getting dragged to his demise I want to feel something for his plight other than, "Okay make a tally on the paper," for whoever you are. That might be why the couple of characters I did like were just interesting enough for me to remember their names and they weren't the last ones standing.
Overall the movie is just very average and pretty much a check the box venture into the cold. It's mostly a forgettable affair that doesn't live up to either 82 or the 1951 version with the much longer title. Still as a stand alone sci-fi horror movie you could do a whole lot worse too.
The Stats:
Dead Bodies: 13
Breasts: 2
1 dead dog
multiple tentacle spearings
Claw spearing
monster human merging
Multiple Monster Flambes
Science Fu
Explosion Fu
Axe Fu
Shout Outs:
Stig Henrik Hoff as Peder for his joke at the beginning of the movie and his willingness to fight monster with fire.
Ulrick Thomsen as Dr. Sander Halvorson for being the antagonistic scientist.
Kristofer Hivju as Jonas who is probably one of the most emotive characters in the movie which does help him stand out.
I don't think its the movie itself that's the problem. (tho to be honest I didn't watch it.) but the face that most reboots or movies based on a beloved movie. Very few of them can or have loved up to its predecessor. (The remake of Dawn of the Dead being one of the few that not only lived up to the original but surpassed it as well.) As such we have a cynical approach to reboots or sequels made for movies made long ago that they will not live up to expectations.
Even if this isnt the case. One such movie that comes to mind was the remake of Evil Dead. It was obvious the creators cared about it. And their was effort. But even then it still wasn't as good as the original tho.
Time to break out the copper wire and Petri dishes
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Well, I think the movie itself didn't do itself too many favors either. Sometimes mediocrity is just as bad as being bad. The sad thing is that if we eliminated the American characters from the movie and spent more time on some of the others it would have been a stronger movie.
I think in the history of movies there have always been a ton of reboots, sequels etc. Movies like The Maltese Falcon, a version of The Lodger and any number of Little Women movies are remakes. Lets not even get started on some of the long running sequel machines that are out there. I think one of the issues now other than cynicism run rampant is that if you enjoy something you can readily get hold of that original and enjoy it easily. There really isn't a need to redo it but if you're going to redo something then, then like you said, you'd better do a good or demonstrably different version of it. And if you're going to do a sequel/prequel you'd better make it at least as good.
Dawn of the Dead was a good example in that the remake was similar but it was different enough to where it was it's own thing. The remake of Evil Dead features better acting overall and a plot that kind of goes a bit beyond the whole "We're 20 somethings out to party."
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In this one they count fillings.
Very interestingly, the movie was done with practical effects originally. Then the producer decided that the digital effects were what they actually wanted. So they George Lucas’d It and just cgi’d over everything. The practical effects team went on to make Harbinger Rising right after this film... At least I think that’s the title.
I thought the new The Thing was... eh; not horrible, but I wasn’t a fan of a lot of what they did with the character logic, or the scientific explanations.
The characters either make incredible logical deductions, or are dumb to the point where it makes me feel dumb. And not just the humans. The thing in the helicopter, it had no reason to do what it did. And don’t get me started on why the flamethrower wielding guy/thing at the end didn’t just kill what’s her face after she had no grenades left. Or, I dunno, kill and change the guy when it breaks out of the ice.
The logic leap on the fillings was pretty big, and I could only attribute that to the Norwegians having watched the first movie. Plus the idea has as many holes in it as those Norwegians’ teeth. Also, the inclusion of Americans was unessessary. For the time period, each nation would have just had their own Antarctic research stations, everyone relying on us OP Americans for crap is something I’ve never been entirely comfortable with. And it forced us to deal with the nonsensical sub plot of the characters who don’t speak Norwegian... who have been assigned to the Norwegian base. No sane human would hire people for a project in the Antarctic, where they don’t speak the language of the only other humans, ie the only other help, down there.
And let’s get to the bad logic that made the movie possible: The descision to not tell anyone on the mainland or at the other base about the alien spaceship or their discovery for fear of others coming to steal it from them... I’m not sure how long they think it takes to mount an expedition to the Antarctic, but you are talking about months of planning. At least. Have you read At the Mountains of Madness? The timeframes they give are pretty accurate for how long it takes to plan and traverse the Antarctic. Plus, they were there. There’s no way anyone was going to get that over them.
That acting... was good. For the actors the writers obviously spent time on. And that is one of the saving graces of the movie.
Ok, now for the science, or lack thereof.
Microscopes from the 70s and 80s don’t work that way. Also, even back then, they understood proper quarantine procedures (anyone had smallpox recently?), I think Norway was actually ahead of the US on that, and would have brought more people or more equipment rather than half assing it the way they do. Then we have them operating on an alien organism with only latex surgical gloves. Anyone see Andromeda Strain? The original? We’ve had, have, and will have, that kind of setup ready for alien life, because the governments don’t want the Andromeda Strain to happen.
The one thing done right in this movie that was done wrong in the 1982 version, is the flamethrowers. They have to build those in this one, after having to burn the thing the first time by kicking over drums of gas and throwing it on the shed by hand. They don’t work all the time, they blow up, they get air in the lines, Simone frost burns their hand fixing the air in the line issue, they put more work into the flamethrowers than they did into consistency for the thing’s powers. There’s stupid thing, and thing that can 100% kill the target thing. And the movie can’t decide which is which.
I complain a lot, but the acting and some of the technical stuff saves this movie from being completely unwatchable. If 1982 Thing had made their characters build those flamethrowers instead of just mysteriously having them, (you use heat guns to melt ice, not gasoline, which will damage your equipment. But it is surprisingly easy to jerryrig a flamethrower from a few acetylene tanks.) then it would be superior in all ways.
Well, that was a rant.
Well I can't argue with the points you've made they're good. I think the only reason you have the Americans and the British guy in there is so that the movie is an English language movie. It's sort of how in the American version of Godzilla you have the Steve Martin character. He really serves no purpose to the movie other than to be the American and get the audience of that country in to see the movie.
In all honesty if they wanted to do this prequel ... better ... First nix the Americans and keep it Norwegian. Now whether that means you shoot it entirely in the native language or not is another matter. If you do you could limit your box office draw in English speaking countries (not that it mattered the prequel lost money anyway).
This of course means you may have to limit your budget but that can be worked out. As far as the characters go you have to make Dr. Sanders Halvorson more of a bad guy and more ruthless. Now he can be subtle at first but he gets more unhinged as time goes on eventually killing the radio operator when he tries to call out for help. It just makes more sense than having this guy cut his own wrists and throat.
You could also have the doctor playing somebody else as a sucker who vouches for his whereabouts and all. Somebody that seems trustworthy.
Anyway, you have the alien break out of the ice in a similar way as to the 1950s version so that way it's quieter but then when the dog/dogs start dying and stuff starts happening they don't know just how bad it is we get a reveal that it's the monster shape shifting into stuff. The final confrontation is between one guy who assumes everyone else is dead and the monster. In a last ditch effort to save humanity he essentially burns himself and the thing up in a big ol fireball. Of course we find out later he wasn't and that two of the other guys that were maybe thought dead when part of a building collapsed are alive.
When they see the dog taking off across they give pursuit in a chopper that the pilot told the doctor it was inoperable. Then they take off with just enough gas and ammo and admit that they're afraid of what will happen if that dog reaches other humans. The one guy begins shooting or maybe just readies his aim.
As far as what the Norwegians know you limit it pretty much to what the Americans learn with maybe just a little more so that way some info is lost.