Aragorn's Pants · 11:43pm Jul 15th, 2018
Oliver: "In the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy, Aragorn's lower body wear is never described. Therefore, he never wore pants and you can't prove otherwise."
My response...
Aragorn sighed as he collapsed on the bench. "Finally," he said. "I've been on my feet all day."
"Such is to be expected of a coronation, particularly one of this scale," said Arwen, approaching.
Aragorn smiled. "It was a good coronation, though, wasn't it?"
"The best I've yet seen," Arwen reassured him. "Folk will no doubt sing tales of the glory of the Reunited King for many a year to come. And if they do not," she added, as she sat beside him, "then I shall. Until they are bored of hearing them."
He clasped her hand in comfort. The subject of her immortality was one they had discussed before.
"That being said, my love, there is one aspect of your attire that seemed to cause consternation among the crowd."
Aragorn sat up, a frown on his brow. "They dislike my crowns? This is the traditional crown of Gondor." He lifted the heavy silver crown from his head. "And this the crown of Arnor. It's true that they sit awkwardly on the same brow, but I'm sure something can be done to join them before our heir takes the throne."
"First, no it is not. Thrice or more has the crown of Gondor been lost or broken in my own memory, and each time replaced with one at least as well forged. But no, the crowns are not the issue."
"It's the cloak, isn't it? I know the combination of dublet and cloak is unconventional, and perhaps not as regal as some might have liked to see, but I felt it important to represent all the peoples, not just the elite."
"And you were right to do so, my love, for it sets the right tone for your reign. No, the problem lies... beneath."
Aragorn lifted one leg. "My shoes? I'll admit, these pretty little silk things feel strange, and certainly wouldn't survive long on a march across country."
"My cousin did offer you elven shoes that are both attractive and durable, but you were right to turn them down. We need add no more fuel to the fire burning within those fools who contrive to see an elven prince on the throne. No, my love, the problem is with... your pants."
"My pants? What pants?"
"That is indeed the issue. Many feel that it would have been more fitting were you to have worn some during the ceremony."
"Ye cannae tak a highlander out a his kilt!"
Hah! :D
Very nice twist. :)
Dang it. I keep trying to read Aragorn as Aragón, especially since an entire post about his lack of pants is exactly the sort of content I expect from his corner of this website.
That said, the punchline here was good. :)
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same.
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Aragón Il Elessar, twenty-sixth King of Arnor, thirty-fifth King of Gondor, and the first High King of the Reunited Kingdom?
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post about Aragón where we were shipping him with Arwen for some reason.
I just woke up and I seriously made it all the way to your comment thinking this was just a
Headcanon accepted. I am now retroactively mad at Peter Jackson for changing that.
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Oh good, I wasn't the only one.
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I'm more surprised than I probably should be to learn that Aragón is actually royalty.
Are Arnor and Gondor part of Portugal, or is he some sort of regent-in-exile?
Best hope he doesn't take it off
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In Europa Universalis 3, if you play for Aragon, you may get missions "Defeat Saruhan" ("Saruhan sounds a lot like a threat to the Lords of the West. If Aragon is ever to fulfill their destiny Saruhan must be defeated.") and "Become King of Gonder" ("It is Aragon’s Destiny to become King of Gonder. Now that we have finally figured out where it is, we should do something about this. Make Gonder Aragon’s as we cannot escape our destiny.").
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