Jul
15th
2018
- Member Since 18th May, 2012
- offline last seen Nov 14th, 2020
GhostOfHeraclitus
Lecturer by day, pony word peddler by night.
GhostOfHeraclitus
Joined 18th May, 2012 ·
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I have to wonder what it would be like in color, in person.
Now that, sir, is a hat.
That man is wearing a skinned halfling for a hat. And he has a mustache of dubious levels of trust.
"...are we the baddies?"
static.miraheze.org/allthetropeswiki/4/40/Gilsnicehat_3200.jpg
Some historic reference:
August von Mackensen was a famous German Warlord known for his brutality on the battlefield and slightly less so for his amazing proficiency as a haberdasher. This surprising skill was developed in his formative years as a peasant in the province of Saxony. One cold winter evening, a serpent slipped into his one-room dirt floor domicile. Even as a five year old boy, he was undaunted by the poisonous king cobra that had somehow invaded his home. He promptly challenged the serpent to a bare knuckle brawl and won, leaving the thing unconscious after a single blow.
Unfortunately, the serpent's unlikely partner, an aptly named beaver called Klaus von Beaverstein attempted to ambush von Mackensen in his moment of triumph. In spite of Klaus's surprise attack, von Mackensen grabbed the limp serpent and beat the beaver to death using the seven foot snake as his chosen instrument of destruction. In his frenzied bloodlust, von Mackensen accidentally slew his mother on one of his Herculian back swings.
To honor the victory that would mark both his passage into manhood and immediate promotion to Generalfieldmarschall in 1854 by Frederick William, crafted these trophies into a singular and most magnificent headpiece that he wore until his dying day.
The Crown of Prussian Glory, as it is now known, was buried with him in 1945 and it is said that any young man of Prussian ancestry who visits von Mackensen's tomb and offers a prayer to the Crown of Prussian Glory immediately grows to the height of seven feet tall and develops a beautiful baritone singing voice.
4901250
There is a colorized version available for purchase.
I'm not sure I'm doing anyone any favors by linking that, to be honest.
4901262
I wonder if Bookplayer will let me hang one in the living room...
Oh dear. This is a common misconception. You see, August von Mackensen was the hat. The human he's currently riding was but one of many of the steeds he went through like tissues over the course of the Great War. He selected them based on maximum Iron Cross capacity, vocal projection, and mustache luster. Also their ability to withstand the fell energies that animated von Mackensen and withered lesser men in a matter of moments, but the mustache luster was his primary concern.
4901264
It doesn't go in the living room. But it would look lovely in the den...
4901267
DEAL! Such a magnificent visage from ages past shall inspire our family for generations to come!
That... I... I just...
I honestly can't decide whether that looks amazing, horrible, ridiculous or all three,
Perhaps I should consult an expert. Rarity, what do you think?
You know, Rarity, you lying on the floor unconscious and twitching is not helping me resolve my fashion dilemma. Could you maybe explain whether your fainting was caused by... joy? Revulsion? Culture shock?
No? Well, thanks for your input, I suppose.
He looks like an anime character.
Yeah, the Totenkopf look goes way, way back. Interestingly, they fought alongside the English at the Battle of Waterloo.
I'm not sure how the symbol became associated with piracy. I'm guessing early-20th Century illustrators of boys' novels were looking for a graphic that just screamed "Bad Guys!" and since the Germans were the bad guys from 1914-1918, this got picked.
Of course, General Sherman didn't need a swell hat to look intimidating. He could do it quite literally without taking off his coat:
sfmuseum.net/photos7/sherman2.gif
This is the man who burned Atlanta. With LASER BEAMS HE SHOT FROM HIS EYES.
4901255
Given von Mackensen's postwar career. . .
Yes.
4901277
And whiskey. Lots of whiskey.
4901277
The skull and crossbones was used on tombstones for ages. Naval captains used it in their logbooks to note when a sailor died at sea. The first record of a pirate flying it as a Jolly Roger is from 1700-1701 under Capt. Emanuel Wynn.
But on a hat? Yeah, that's a literary and artistic invention. Here's a 1933 version from the Sea Raiders trading card set:
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e1/Captain_Thomas_Howard_from_the_1933_World_Wide_Gum_Co._"Sea_Raiders"_trading_card_series.jpg/220px-Captain_Thomas_Howard_from_the_1933_World_Wide_Gum_Co._"Sea_Raiders"_trading_card_series.jpg
Am I the only one thinking he would look a lot more menacing without the hat?…
4901262
You can purchase it as a shower curtain. Or a portable battery charger.
Is... is this the Late Capitalism I keep hearing the kids talk about?
just look at this magnificent motherfucker!
Fascinating photo!
4901262 4901250 I took the original image into a coloration site before I saw the Admiral's link, and came up with a blue uniform. Looked it up (briefly) and found a reference to WWI German uniforms being "prussian blue", so I'm not sure about either color. Either way, he's definitely a tough-looking old bird.
i.imgur.com/Wx9mKfQ.png
4901269 Inspire them to what, exactly?
4901324
If you do not know, you shan't be permitted to know. Thus sayeth The Last Hussar.
Dot iss one hat dat any Jagermonster would be proud to haff.
4901277
4901304
In this case, its a long tradition of the Prussian Hussar, (A style of Eastern European Light cavalry). Under Fredrick the Great, the hat in question first appeared on the soldiers of the 5th Hussar regiment in 1740...ish. Colonel von Ruesch, and the regiment that followed him used the skull and crossbones for their symbol.
It is worth noting that historically, regiment symbols were meant to strike fear into the enemy and its only in recent years we have abandoned this practice. Pictures of Skulls, the Devil, snakes, Dragons and other frightening iconography was commonly selected by the soldiers. Even today the 63rd Infantry of the US army uses a sword covered in blood on a background of flames.
And this makes sense. I mean this symbol is what you want the enemy to remember your group by. They won't know your name, your regiment number, or anything like that. But they will almost certainly see your insignia. And when a regiment first forms, they are trained to think of victory, and so, ideally that symbol should strike fear in the heart of the enemy, so when they see it a second time....they know who is after them, and that they need to run.
In saying that, Prussia, (and thus Germany since they united the state) got a little obsessed with this idea...and war and fighting in general. To Quote Voltaire: “While most states have an army, Prussia is an army with a state.” At this point, 10% of the population of the nation was in the army....in the current era that would be a strain on the economy of the nation...
Back then their was some question of what the giant Prussian army ate.
4901265
Of course, this explains that problem. If it was actually an army of hats riding humans, then who cares what the humans eat. :D
Something something a giant hat!
Considering we saw so many griffons wearing weird hats in Treasure of Griffonstone, I now wonder what kind of haberdasherial excesses the griffon generals committed during the heyday of their nation...
Warhammer 40K called. They have a position open.
Ah good old "get captured and simply ask them not to steal your chicken" Mackensen.
Though tobe fair he was retired for ages by that point since it was during WW2.
4901310
well of course he would. he'd be looking to murder whoever took his hat.
I think that was this guy’s grandfather.
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/skycaptainsarmyforhire/images/0/0a/Totenkopf.png
4901390
Completely forgot that movie was ever a thing.
4901332
Potatoes. Lots of potatoes.
There's a reason Frederick the Great became the Potatoe King.
4901327
Ve schutt hab known dad ee voot vollow ennis vadder's vootschteps!
4901424
Vatt?
Vootschteps! Vootschteps! You know! Vit der veet, schtepping along... Oh, bother.
4901313 At this rate, when the aliens do invade, they're going to find people on the streetcorners, selling "I Was At The Alien Invasion" t-shirts.
"You know, Captain Blorch, I thought we had the element of surprise?"
"We did! The fleet popped out of hypduperspace and dropped right down into their town. By the way, do you take a Large or Xtra Large?"
4901398 Obviously, the giant Prussian army ate whatever it wanted. The human Prussian army, however...
4901332
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQmspjhPccgH7bdb8sCehCzcnkSgiMau8rNalGg-R3AGbku55nLUw
Look at all his MAJESTY!
4901327
Indeedt!
Any Jäger vouldt be proudt to heff a hat lek dot vun!
4901455 I like the III Corps (US Army) statue better. Frazetta rocks.
i.imgur.com/z54BntJ.jpg
4901538
It might have been badass before Skyrim. Now it just says "arrow to the knee."
You know what rocks?
Rainbow rocks:
i.pinimg.com/736x/71/c0/1a/71c01a4f026bf06b7d9ca573a25292da--army-tattoos-army-shirts.jpg
i.pinimg.com/originals/e6/a2/d8/e6a2d880dee88409d633dfb659701a94.jpg
i.pinimg.com/236x/6e/44/1d/6e441d6bd17a3dae4a086294a78b2386--shoulder-sleeve-us-army.jpg
img00.deviantart.net/06f2/i/2011/309/f/5/patch___death_from_above_in_ten_seconds_flat_by_fernindt-d4f51kj.jpg
4901448
“A riot is an ungly thing… undt, I tink, that it is chust about time ve had vun!”
4901455
*snorts*
You know....it suddenly occurs to me that Trogdor could be related to Discord.
I clearly need to go to sleep, because closer inspection says, "An S body shape is hardly the basis of both being related. And Burnanating isn't exactly chaos."
4901546
Why does it not surprise me that one group of the US air force has taken Rainbow Dash as their symbol. I would however pay to see Twilight's reaction when Dash bragged about it. (Which she would.)
See you and raise you:
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e7/Garford_Putilov_in_Freikorps_use.jpg
That is a Garford-Putilov armored car. It was a real thing. I know it doesn't look like a real thing. I know it looks like something Vaughn Bode drew for Junkwaffle:
progressiveruin.com/images/daskampf2.jpg
And I know that that one guy there in the foreground looks like one of Bode's little German guys:
progressiveruin.com/images/daskampf3.jpg
(I mean, come on, just look at him fer chrissakes!)
But it all was real and it all really happened. History is not only weirder than we suppose...
They knew how to do hats and mustaches back then.