UGH why cant I write anything :(

I just can't write properly. I come up with an idea write what comes to mind and then scrap it. I would try to edit the million word rp i'm in but there is no way to edit it all into a coherent story. Also Google Docs has errors where the words go into the freaking background of the document so I cant even copy and paste it any where. _{*head bangs wall*} any way I have a prologue idea for my OC backstory only problem is I write in a role play format so I will never be able to post it here what the h*** do I do. I'll leave the prologue here if you guys like it then please leave a comment. Another thing is I'll be gone for a while (6 weeks) so I'll check after that time maybe I can even write more while I'm gone but it is hand written and I cant read my own cursive. Enough of my blab here is the first few things I have written.

Prologue

2025 Years After The Equestrian War

Location: Hut outside of Ponyville

Time: 13:30

???: Alright we should get this started.
???: I don’t know, I don’t believe I will fit in with the rebuild of Equestria. I mean it’s hard to think that it’s been almost three thousand years since I was born and everything went downhill.
???: Infernious not everything went downhill I mean I only know about a quarter of your life and there have been up sides to your chaos.
Infernious: Alright, Rising Star I guess I should start from way back to the first thing I remember
Rising Star: I believe that would be the best way to start.

15 Years Before The Rise Of Nightmare Moon

Location: small town near canterlot

Time: 19:21

Infernious’s POV

???: Hey Infernious can you please get out of your cave. I would like to talk to you before I get to bed.
Me: *Groans* Come on dad quit suggesting I’m a cave dweller and let me do my own thing
Dad: Don’t start yelling at me. I just wanted to talk.
Me: k *walks of my dark room and goes and sits at the kitchen table* so what did you want to talk about

That's what I have written so far. Yes my OC was born before nightmare moon and her banishment. Yes when I mean after the equestrian war I mean before Fallout Equestria. Yes Infernious is FREAKIN' OLD AS SHIT he is part dragon after all. Last of all rising star is an A.I. programmed to be the opposite of a friends OC Starfall. The difference is the colors are inverted and personality. I couldn't figure out a better name and Star if you are reading this you can say if I have to cut this character out. I won't mind.