The Bubbly Mare Updated! · 3:20am May 22nd, 2018
The Bubbly Mare is updated with new chapter -- "Good Friends".
Last we saw Derpy she was a mere filly just being introduced to the world of responsibility. As an adult, however, when we last saw her she was drunk, alone, and in a familiar bed that isn't hers. At least she's found herself among friends.
This is a story I'm having a bit of trouble with, but I am determinate to finish it. Alternating between a chapter taking place in the past, then a chapter taking place in the present (where Derpy's an adult), isn't the problem... it's the perspective. There are a few chapters which are requiring breaks from Deryp's perspective, and I've got mixed feelings about that.
This chapter also came off a little bit too fast-paced in places during editing. Given the nature of the story it also came off a bit more fetishy than I was going for, but after a good amount of polishing, I post ^^
Hope you guys are enjoying this story as much as I've enjoyed bringing it to you. Also love Fimfiction's read aloud feature, as it's possible after a while to see what you want to see in the passages you've gone corrected multiple times and miss new errors.
Peace 
FiM Fiction has a 'Read Aloud' feature? How neat! I'll stick with my screen reader, as I can read around 300 words-per-minute, but I'm glad there is a built-in style of screen reading technology. :)
This chapter, to me, only got fetish-focus if you were looking for the fetish. What I took away is two characters who really don't want to talk about the matter at hand as they know how it could be seen from the outside and that way of being seen is both scary and unpleasant. Fortunately Derpy and AJ have known each other for a long time and the trust is there to make sure nothing goes beyond the room where Ms. Hooves is recovering.
Hmm. The chapters for the outside perspective may be best done if you find ways to tie-in thoughts AJ may have about Derpy's situation and how she feels about hers with Pinkie and Dash. Maybe, if she doesn't know already, Dash may keep that as a way of genuinely approaching Thunderlane for how 'vulnerable' Derpy is and he should no better than to hurt the feelings of any pony on the team? (she'd not mention the fact Derpy needs diapers but the fact Ms. Hooves is so 'vulnerable' would possibly give Dash a new surge of 'Loyalty' towards standing up for anti-bullying along with any pony taking actions that could hurt others at the work place?)
AJ could feel really bad about bringing up the fact Derpy 'needs' diapers to her friends BUT it could allow them to explore how they feel about the fetish vs. the need along with AJ potentially discovering she may have gotten it from having seen Derpy in her 'Briefs' / 'All-In-Ones'. This would allow for blinks of Derpy's story as the others do what is needed to tie up the loose ends?
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Thanks for all your thoughts, pardner. It's great to know the fetish elements don't seem overbearing in this segment.
You've pretty much hit the nail on the head with what I was hoping to show. Where it goes from here I shan't spoil
The reader here on FiMfic does a pretty good job. The voice is mellow and doesn't sound robotic. It's helped me out the past few chapters before posting, catching errors here and there. It's a greatly appreciated addition to the site.