On Taking Criticism · 12:22am May 18th, 2018
Hey guys!
I would just like to post this blog as a quick reference to my thoughts on taking criticism. Why? Because there's a point I want to make and I like to think I have some value to this site lying around here somewhere...
*looks around immediate vicinity*
Nope! But, I'm posting it anyway.
(Note: A mildly informative blog awaits. If you want to get out, just stop at this cute picture and move on. If not... God help you.)
So, a ways back, I finished up the fic that I spent the better part of the last year writing. It was a very personal and close to home project, so I put my heart and soul into it one sentence at a time. Upon finishing it, however, not everyone was pleased.
...To say the least.
I wasn't surprised. It was a beast of an ending. But more importantly than that, it comes down to an age-old truth: You can't make everyone happy. You can try, but you can't. Someone out there will always not like what you do and be filled to the brim with disgust toward you for it.
You think I'm exaggerating, right? WRONG! But we'll get to that in a second.
Anyhow, I've noticed that it can be a pattern, and it was for me at one point, to take things personally. Someone says your story was garbage? It makes you upset. Someone says the scene you worked hard for three months on was crap? Yeah, it hurts. I've been there a lot.
However, the key is to remember they're criticising your work, not yourself. To publish your work on a public medium with the idea that everyone is going to love it or be nice about their feelings is a pipe dream these days. People will dislike your stuff. And surprise, surprise, the more people that read your stuff, the more people that will find it and take offense to it. It's something you have to accept.
Oh, and it won't always be tactful, tasteful or even helpful. Hell no.
I've had quite a few people comment or PM me and say "is it alright if I tell you some things you need to work on? I don't want you to get upset." Or they say something like "Your characters were pretty bad and your ending scene here was lackluster. I'm sorry." I'm saying it right now for anybody reading: Please, never be sorry or think you're being too harsh. I love getting negative feedback when it's sensible because it helps me improve. I can't get better if everything is hunky-dory all the time.
Most importantly though, trust me when I say that you are never being too harsh. I actually compiled a short list of things people have said to me over the past couple years of writing on this site. Note, these are all real, all serious and were based on something I wrote:
You're the kind if people I look forward to the day you put a bullet into your chest when you realize what a piece of shit you are
I hope you burn in hell
If there were a place for having asking for truly merit-less works removed from this site, I would nominate this piece of gutter trash for it immediately.
You should seriously evaluate whether or not you have any place writing fanfiction.
So yeah, I've heard it all. And those were just a few. I've gotten to the point where I'm not so bothered with it anymore as much as I just find it a bit annoying.
Long story short, feel free to tell me if I suck, why I suck and how I could possibly be less sucky in the future. I love it. And never feel like you'll offend me, because yeah, I've heard it all in the (almost) five years I've been on this site.
Love you guys!
Haven't those fools ever heard of the "Death of the Author" Principle? I'm sorry you've had to go through all that. I can only assume this has something to do with "Blonde Moments" which I still think is one heck of a story, even if the ending was a bit out there. But after you explained it, it makes so much sense now. Granted, it wasn't the most perfect ending on the planet, but it was still very well done (Despite the lack of a certain little filly). Those guys have no idea what they're talking about. Glad that you don't take that crap to heart. You keep doing you.
The way I see it, unless someone somewhere is wishing death upon you or sending you death threats, you're probably writing too safe. ;)
I know the abusive comments (which are different than harsh criticism) can be frustrating at times, and it's awesome that you're able to take them in stride. Not many people can, and those that do? Those are the ones that keep being writers. So keep it up.
Honestly. I was mad at what you did in BLond Moments. But I know that you are ultimately the author. I've known for many years that you cant please everyone. So man, i understand.
Good luck on future stories.
I have yet to get proper angry PMs.
But, oh, such tears I could drink by the gallon.
4863042
I appreciate the kinds words, bro.
4863045
Yeah, this is the ultimate price to pay for writing Spike. It will always end in tears and rain. Damn... my mother was right.
4863049
Thanks, brother.
4863055
I've got some extra if you want. I even have those fancy cherries to put on top. I come prepared.
4863061
No problem. You deserve 'em.
4863045
Also, just to your point, I actually thank my RL work for assisting with that. I ran a restaurant for three years and now I'm a productivity manager for Walmart corporate. If people aren't plotting my death and actively trying to make me kill myself, I'm not doing my job.
... I'm far too sober for this shit. The kicker will be that the twats who sent those messages would squeal like a pig under a gate if you beat on their door with a baseball bat and told them to come out and get some.
where those comments from that one rock concert story?
4863073
Those were comments spread out over various stories. I don't wanna start a witch hunt so specifics are best left unsaid, but suffice to say people be crazy.
4863061
Not a problem. Honestly, i had to deal with criticism all the time at school. I'm pretty weird, and act like it. So, a few kids would make fun or be mean to me. I learned to ignore it over time. SO i understand how you feel.
A big part of why I don't post stories is because I don't think I can take the flak.
I wonder if you would write a ship fic about anycreature because I have a intresting one (or at least a less popular one)
4863061
Side of fries and it's a deal.
4863089
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I read a side story in a book called "Mentored by A Millionaire by Steven K. Scott" which I HIGHLY recommend reading. In a side story, it REALLY helped give me perspective on just how important criticism is.
Scott was on his I think 4th job since he graduated college working for an advertising firm I think (it's been a while since I read it so pardon the small details if you look at the book). He worked REALLY hard at his job for months now was hoping, praying for a promotion to help his new family. One day he gets a message saying the boss wants to see him. He felt confident as he went. The boss sat him down and with a smile on his face said "Steve, you are the single greatest disappointment in my career! You will never succeed in marketing! You have 20 minutes to clean out you desk." Needless to say, he was overwhelmed and felt like a complete failure and would fail at another 5 or 6 more jobs after that until he would find success years later. If you want to know how he succeeded you really should look. Years later he himself realized that he was fired for making his boss feel that he was unloyal to him because I think he applied to be in another department or something. Anyway, he realized this and saw a small nugget of a diamond through that painful experience.
Years later when he was more successful he wrote a pitch for a commercial to a partner of his and he said that it was great but there was no hook. Scott said he could have resisted but he instead listened to the criticism and his partner couldn't be happier. That pitch became a commercial that was worth millions. Scott found a massive diamond in that little dirt pile.
The whole story was told far better obviously but the point was how criticism comes in many sizes. Whether it be looking for a small nugget diamond in a lake of shit or a baseball sized diamond in a kiddie pool, a diamond is a diamond. No matter painful it is, there CAN be wisdom in a persons words of rage or elegance.
A person sent me paragraphs worth of criticism in my first story and I'm forever thankful for him, and along with the others too who commented. Of course if anyone ever tells me to go fuck myself over something I wrote then i'll constantly get him/her to tell me why. Hopefully that won't happen, especially with my next story but still.
Thanks for the blog post, and God speed
4863093
... I wanted those.
I learned the hard way. Eventually, I just wrote what I wanted to write and it's been getting better. From Romance to cliche horror.
Still, I got a lot to learn. Especially when it comes to my main series.
theres all kinds of people on the internet. personally I just don’t know why people bother giving attention to the most acidic ones. They clearly are trying for a reaction. Glad that at least you are used to it, some people can get really sensitive to this stuff.
4863075
you got fame through the use of horse words to ship all the females with the only constant dude, who happens to be a dragon. you sure they are the crazy ones?
You know, you remind me of my brother a little with this post. He actually posted a similarly-lengthed speech about criticism and like this, it's very well thought out.
I'm on the same page as 4863055 here.
I have yet to read Blonde Moments, but those comments make it look extremely promising to me. If anything, those salty kids just raised my interest, because now I want to know what all of this is about.
In the end, we can't chose the feedback we receive, but we can chose how we deal with it. Being able to handle stuff like this is something that belongs into more "Beginners Writing Guides" in my eyes. After all, every author needs to be able to deal with it. They'll all come across it eventually.
4863266
Good quote.
Mommy! drew some criticism in its Featured days.
My latest work, The Stars in Our Dreams, my first in over a year, never really took off, despite it being called beautiful.
Quote from Joey Wheeler in Duel Links:
"Ya win some, ya lose some...
...But man, I hate losin'."
fuck 'em
God, this is why I wish I could like blogs.
Man, criticism is one of those things I still can't get over. I've yet to get messed up stuff like that, so that might be why. It's good that you can deal with it as well as you are, though!
Now, out of curiosity: what story was it that raised eyebrows and inspired this blog?
This is a good blog! Something that everyone learning to progress in their field should know.
4863541
Blonde Moments
4863588 Thank you.