A Saddening Realization: A Late Night Blog. · 3:42am Apr 25th, 2018
So lately, I've been feeling... I don't know. Sad or depressed doesn't really describe it.
I guess dissappointed is correct. Mostly in myself.
I was looking through my computer, specifically, my Google Drive, when, in the far back corners of all my folders, I stumbled across a chapter for a little story called Reborn.
Now, none of you should know what Reborn is. Unless one of you clicked on the link to my FanFiction.net account I had up on my profile up until a few weeks ago on accident.
It was a Pokemon fanfic I had written. It got pretty popular, by FF.net standards. Currently, it sits at 5 chapters with about 15k words. That's the problem.
It was last updated in August of 2017.
And since that chapter went live, I haven't written a single word for it. Its been there, in the back of my mind ever since, taunting me and slowly driving me insane. I want to keep writing it, yet I just can't.
Another story: Changing of the Guard.
I created the story on this site before I had the idea for FREEDOM is Magic. It's about a few weeks older. Currently about 1.5k words and around 50% complete. Again, I haven't even looked at it in months.
And that brings me to The Demon Comes On Rainbow Wings. Chapter 2 went up about a week ago.
Currently, it has 85 views.
85
EIGHTY-FIVE.
That is rock bottom in terms of view count. 85 could be the number of people who clicked on it by accident. The only way I knew someone has even seen it is the few favorites I've gotten, which is five or six at best. And none of them bothered to leave a comment, so I don't even know if they're real people.
Clearly, I'm doing something wrong.
But while that has been bothering me, it's not as bad as, just like the last 2 stories, I haven't written a single word for it since Chapter 2 went out.
I've burnt out. This story was supposed to be long, around 20-30 chapters. I've been working on it for about 4 months. Its based on something I love, and even though its source material is, admittedly, rather obscure, I thought I could keep going with the small audience I would pick up.
Instead I got no audience. And now, not even a month in, I can't even force myself to write for it.
If no one is going to see it, whats the point?
And that's when I came to today's realization.
I can't write multi-chapter stories.
No matter the subject. I just get burned out eventually, even if its something I love. Eventually, I get bored and move on.
I've tried writing shorting things these last few days, yet I just... can't. I'm just too bored.
But... boredom is subject for another time. Maybe.
Anyway, that's it. Rant over. I don't know why I wrote this. Guess I'm just slightly upset. Its currently midnight and I've been writing this for about an hour.
~ST4RSK1MM3R
Hey man, honestly I feel the same way.
My older works on Fanfiction.net performed fairly well. Most were well received, the best one pulling in 5k views, but I left the fandom I wrote for with one 3 or 4 unfinished stories and a ton more unreleased ideas I had abandoned. It just got... stale after awhile. I figured it was time to move on.
I've put so much time planning out stories with huge universes. The Blueniverse Project is currently on its third reboot now. The first version attracted around 100 views but got no comments, no feedback, nothing. Hell, even 'Snow,' which was a one-shot attempting to build lore around the Blueniverse did better. And it was one chapter! With a thousand words!
So I tossed it and started with a new idea. I got far, promoted it only to have someone dislike it for no reason, and sent it to a review group a few months ago. Then, when I was dealing with an immense amount of stress, huzzah! The review came! I was practically destroyed to find the reviewer gave me a 3/10 for story structure. 3! Out of 10!
I calmed down after a while and took the review into account and realized that he was right. There were just too many flaws. So I started again, but halfway through the first chapter, I just... lost it. I lost my drive to keep the project alive. I checked my stats and found that of all the longer projects I've done, all of them performed poorly when compared to my one shot stories.
TEP was hard to understand, and I get that. It got 65 views. I was okay with that. Everything, the latest version of the Blueniverse got 7 likes and 90 views. A little better.
But Listen to What the Sky Said, some story I wrote for a contest without putting much thought into, a story that was barely edited and had only 1,300 words, got 165 views. 165!!!
I get feeling burned out. It just seems like no matter what you do, nothing works. But hey, long stories aren't easy. The longer a story, the more likely people are to skip over it. Why? Hell if I know. Is it impossible? Of course not, but did those guys who made it do it on their first try? If they did, I'd like to meet them and ask them how they did it.
Point is, it takes time to write a long story that performs well. I'd give you suggestions, but I'm honestly just as lost as you are, and frankly, I've never been a dedicated fan, to begin with, and have been considering leaving the site. I'm not suggesting you quit the site or quit writing, just saying that whatever you do next is up to you, and you sure as hell aren't alone in this.
- Faux Pass (Formerly TheRedFox)
I believe inherently, as writers, we all seek to have our work read and hopefully critiqued upon by those readers.
I like long stories for many reasons and I know why other readers will skip over them. Personally I shy away from short stories as the potential enjoyment I would get is going to be short lived. This is not to say that the short story is in anyway flawed, but I'm always left with the desire of wanting more out of something that was meant to be short.
It is challenging though, to create a narrative that justifies a multi chapter story, and in no small way a long term commitment on the writer and readers part too. There has to be some sort of devotion to the work, a will to see it through to the end, and that is not always easy. My first story was a single chapter consisting of 10,000+ words on Fanfiction, before leaving it unfinished for nearly five months, but during that time I felt that urge to come back to it. At the time I had only one reader commenting on each newly published chapter on that site, Bluecatcinema, before two or three other readers offered their own thoughts. One of these readers happened to be you and it was on your recommendation that I bring my stories to this site.
I even submitted my first story to be reviewed and it was given a 4/10 with a rather unflattering but honest review of where I was as a writer. The amount of editing required to make the story even a 5/10 would be hours worth of work for each chapter, if not a complete rewrite, but I leave it as it is because it reflects the progress I have made. (And I have no editor) It gave me the motivation to start making some much needed changes to my writing long into my third story, but I feel has only helped me become a stronger writer.
I urge you to complete your stories, perhaps for that one reader who wants to see how it ends. Because it took just one reader to have me come to this site, upload my stories, and it has proven to be a wonderful experience.