FanFiction: Jurassic Park - Herbivore Havoc, part 1 · 3:05am Apr 25th, 2018
AU Parody of the first two movies' most memorable scenes. Instead of heavily stocking his park with carnivores and a few docile herbivores, Hammond decides to start off less grandiose and instead opts to mostly stock his park with herbivorous and omnivorous dinosaurs. After all, things that aren't carnivores are friendly and surely won't cause any problems, right? If we swap out such nasties as the Tyrannosaurus and "Raptor", nothing could go wrong, right?... Wrong.
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Isla Sorna
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A jovial old man paced down a hall, flanked by two younger persons in lab coats. One, a dark, short haired man tapped at his PDA while the glasses wearing, blonde haired woman went through her notes with a frown. The man upfront, walking down the hallway to survery Site B's paddocks, had an expression comparable to a kid in a candy-store beneath his short, white beard. Hammond surveyed his embryo stock, a good two dozen species cataloged and recorded. It was 1987. Isla Sorna was fully staffed and Isla Nublar's paddocks were nearing completion, meaning he effectively had a zoo prepped and ready with only the need for animals to stock it. They'd already produced so many fantastic creatures on Isla Sorna, some of which were approaching adolescence and be ripe for transport from Sorna to Nublar. He just had to pick which ones.
On instinct he felt compelled to call out and have the oldest Tyrannosaurus as the first animal picked, sure to be a big draw for the kids. But then he paused. John Hammond tapped at his chin as he observed the growing Tyrant Reptile, who was currently ripping apart a cow carcass.
Dr. Henrey Wu and Laura Sorkin, the two chief geneticists, paused and both raised an eyebrow.
Wu grunted and cleared his throat, "Mr. Hammond? You want the first?"
Hammond hummed momentarily before shaking his head, "No, we'll hold off."
Even Sorkin mentally backpedaled, "W-Wait what?"
Hammond nodded his head to his own accretion, "We'll start with mostly herbivores. Should be more containable and need less space."
"Are, are you sure about that?" Wu muttered, "What about drawing crowds?"
Hammond just shook his head and waved a hand, "Baaah, they'll be more than drawn in at the word 'dinosaur'. Besides we'll still have the Rex by time we open, but probably better we get out feet beneath us with the herbivores first. Crowds and kids love big dinosaurs anyways-"
The old man smiled as he paced over to another paddock and motioned towards the behemoth within with his amber headed cane, "Not too many folks bigger than that one."
A long, bellowing, almost blaring honk like what one would hear out of a foghorn called out, quieting even the Tyrannosaurs.
"Besides, be safer with the vegetarians!"
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Isla Nublar, 6 years later
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The loading forklift hummed while billowing out its taxed exhaust. The smell of diesel fumes filled the damp, thick tropical air. But that wasn’t what caused the multiple armed men comprising the loading teams to recoil when the lift and its cargo lurched out of the foliage addled dirt road. It was the audible hissing of what was inside the metal container the forklift was carrying that did. Waiting for the lift to set the container down in front of one of the park’s holding pens, a tanned man touting a ranger’s hat and shotgun warily waved to his comrades and shouted over the whirling machine and hissing animal.
“Alright now, pushers move in. Loading team move it,” Robert Muldoon barked as several park workers approached the crate and attached the handles to the surface.
Muldoon motioned to the good dozen or so men armed with stun guns and in a few cases, rifles, “I want tasers on full charge.”
The container clicked onto the rails beneath it and at the loading team approached it to grip the sides and slide it across the rails and into the holding pen. A shriek was heard and something banged on the inside of the container, affording a brief glimpse of sharp quills poking out from between the air slits. A worker barked and stumbled back to grab his chest.
Muldoon kept his voice low as he patted the worker’s shoulder, “Alright, steady. Get back in there now, push. Get back in there, Don't let her know you're afraid.”
With much reluctance, he complied and soon he and the other loading team got the crate up to the gateway to the paddock.
“Loading team step away, Gatekeeper-” Muldoon muttered with his subordinates being all too eager to comply, “Joffrey, raise the gate!”
Joffrey, a seasoned veteran of dangerous animal care and longtime worker at the park. He was three days until retirement when the owner of gleaming orange eyes glared at him. A brilliant shrieking cry, almost like the screaming brakes of a car, sounded off as the creature within the crate charged forward and slammed into the gate he was opening. The recoil of such force at such speed caused the entire container to slide back on its rollers several feet and for Joffrey to lose his footing and fall to the side. Then it all seemed to happen at once.
Joffrey tried to scrambled to his feet only to get yanked back towards the container and scream out in pain as multiple serrated fangs dug into his leg to the bone. He yelled and clawed at the ground and container wall to try and gain a purchase and not get pulled back. Muldoon rushed to his side and grabbed his old friend around the middle, having to drop a shotgun in the process. The game warden glimpsed the gleaming orange eyes, filled with rage, leering back at him. The creature, the monster grabbed Joffrey’s leg and chomped down on his thigh while holding onto his body with its arms and kicking back with powerful legs to continue pulling away.
Multiple workers with stun guns and electric prods rammed their weapons through the air slits, electrocuting and jabbing the monster over and over again to little effect. A broad tail lashed out and slammed into the container wall in the direction of most of the workers. Many of them screamed and recoiled in bloody display as their hands, arms, and in several cases, faces and eyes, were gouged into by quills that stayed lodged into their bloody flesh.
“Shoot her!” Muldoon roared as Joffrey slipped further in.
The monster refused to go down, veiled in a shower of electric prod-borne sparks, ricocheting gunfire, and Joffrey’s blood. It glared back at Muldoon even as it finally started to convulse. It was making its intentions clear when it tore off most of Joffrey’s thigh and bit down again on his stomach, vice-like jaws and large fangs refusing to give. It never took its eyes off Muldoon. It wasn’t going to eat Joffrey, just kill him. And it would do the same to Muldoon.
“SHOOT! HEEER!”
Joffrey’s arm went limp and it slipped out of Muldoon’s grasp to the echoing cracks and rumbles of gunfire.
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South Africa
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“Look at the angled plates the teeth all line up to form, perfect for shearing through the toughest vegetation one might find in a forest. Tooth replacement was all at once so I could eat the toughest shrubs. This one's much bigger than the previous finds.”
“That doesn’t sound very scary!”
The flannel shirt and four layers of dust wearing Dr. Grant turned around, his line of sight parting the volunteers like Moses did the Red Sea to reveal a heavy set youth in a baseball cap and striped shirt.
“More like a, six foot Bambi!”
Dr. Grant sighed as he walked forward with his hands on his hips.
“Try to... Imagine yourself in the Jurassic period,” he started.
Dr. Sattler her palm to her face, knowing what was coming, “Oh god...”
Dr. Grant patted the air with his hands to indicate height as he started to spin his tail. One he had kept prepped and ready for just such an occasion. Most people who want to come to a fossil dig, let alone in South Africa, are wanting to find the predators. Tyrannosaurus, Albertosaurus, Allosaurus, Deinonychus, the lions, tigers, and wolves of their day; regardless of if those genera even existed on the continent they were on. Not as many are eager to dig up a complete, remarkably complete as it was relatively big, herbivore the size of a man. After all so many movies show herbivorous dinosaurs as little more than helpless protagonists fleeing from the predator or cannon fodder for the predators to tear to pieces. Most people don’t know the deer, moose, or bison are far more dangerous to people than wolves, tigers, and lions ever were in terms of body count.
“You get your first good look at this ‘six foot Bambi’ when you enter the clearing, but he already knew you were there long before you emerged from the brush and is already facing you. He might resemble a deer or bird in manner, chewing on leaves and bobbing his head. And,” Grant motioned with his hand to his eyes and the child’s, “You think he’ll flee because he’s not a carnivore like T.rex. He won't attack you since you're not food, but no, not Heterodontosaurus. You stare at him, and he just stares right back… And that’s when the attack happens, not from the front- but from the side.”
Grant swung his arms inward with raised index fingers, making a shark whistling sound to indicate movement. He stopped just short of the Eric’s eyeballs, causing them to widen.
“From the other two Heterodons, you didn’t even know where there…,” Grant chuckled as he paced away slightly, “Heterodontosaurus is a herd animal, moving about in troops or sounders like chimpanzees or wild boars, and as a group they'd viciously protect their foraging grounds from other competitors as it is their lifeline and that of their offspring. Often they’d gang up on an enemy if they got an opening and tear them to pieces, much like chimps will do to an outsider.”
Noticing how he was now losing young Mr. Kirby’s attention, Grant retrieved something from his pocket.
“And he gnashes at you with this,” he quipped while revealing a long, almost dagger-like fang with visible serrations running across its lengths, “Five inch, serrated fang, like a hacksaw, two on each jaw. Mostly used for chopping tough plants but they’re plenty sharp just like a boar or ape’s.”
When Grant held up the fang and got close to him, Eric Kirby's eyes became like dinner plates.
“They’re not predators so they don’t bother to rip out your jugular like a lion. Not instantly… Instead he rips into you here-”
Grant mock-slashed the youth across the thigh, letting images pertaining to four such fangs sawing into his flesh and pulling the muscle from the bone sink in.
“Ooor here,-”
Grant motioned again, this time knifing the tooth across the kid’s collar to summon a vision of such dagger-like fangs gnashing into the muscle and arteries present.
“-Or, maybe across the belly,” Alan muttered with a slight chuckle as he dragged the fang’s tip across the now quivering youth’s stomach and tensed the point to his shirt, “emptying out your intestines, make you go into shock and die of blood loss… Point is, you are alive until they decide to kill you.”
He cocked an eyebrow and looked Eric Kirby in the eye with a smirk, “So, try to show a little respect?”
The kid rapidly nodded, now thoroughly traumatized the next time he so much as looked at a pig.
UP NEXT:
The break out!
4846970
It's not out yet. XD
"To those who don't even eat meat, they know well, the taste of blood."
Whoever said herbivores didn't know how to handle themselves, obviously never had to deal with THIS creature. Just because they don't have sharp teeth that rend into flesh, doesn't mean they don't know how to fight! I mean, as they stated above about deer, why do you think they HAVE those antlers? Just for show?.....well yes, but imagine you getting your face torn apart or your ribs pierced and CRUSHED when a male-bull deer charges at you?
But man, I would've pissed my pants if I ever saw this thing tear something apart in the movies. Sure, it's not a raptor, but just because it's a herbivore, doesn't mean it won't put up a fight if cornered or piss off. I'm starting to wonder of Hammond made the WRONG choice in this timeline. :P
And hey, based on my research, did the Heterodontosaurus actually have quills? Or was that a genetic enhancement to make them more flashy?
4846994
Time will tell my good fellow, time will tell. Least carnivores only hunt when hungry and only maim for defense. Herbivores, they'll mess you up for looking at you funny.
As for quills, indeed Heterodontosaurids as a group are well documented to have them. One could favorably compare them to the dinosaur equivalent to bristle haired peccaries or porcupines.
oi64.tinypic.com/qqxvk9.jpg
I did bump the size up in parody of the JP Velociraptors being scaled up. So Heterodontosaurus' name, but using relation's size. IRL Hetero was about jackal size.
I'm curious, since this parody will also cover movie two, are you gonna use the Mauve Shirts to stand in for the Canon Team?
Wow, Tarb. Didn’t expected to see an AU based in Jurassic Park, though the idea of the park having to deal with violent herbivores instead of the carnivorous species is intriguing. The scene of Joffrey’s death (who pretty much had his death flag hoisted proudly with the three days of retirement line) showed us that herbivorous dinosaurs could be just as vicious as their male counterparts. Furthermore, Grant taking the time to vividly illustrate how herbivores like apes, boars, and Heterodontosaurus (why do I have the feeling that this species is the one that killed the only benign Joffrey who ever lived?) could use their teeth to gore their enemies. Overall, it was a great chapter and I can’t wait to see Part 2.
P.S: Already added it to my favorites in Fanfictio.net, so will copy/paste this post and put it there.
Well I have heard stories of horses and camels biting people, so this makes sense.
4847008
There's probably a 30/70 chance of Tarb choosing the canon characters... That's just me though
This was great! I can't wait to see what dinosaur replaces the T-rex for the breakout scene. XD
4847106
When you think about it, V, that while carnivores did attack us for probably half of the playthrough. A fair share of herbivores were the one to cause the vast majority of carnage like the Stegosaurs trying to kill us, or the Mamenchisaurus we sicced on the BioSyn camp, even the Parasaurolophus and Pachycephalosaurus joined in even though their rampage was relegated to being mostly offscreen. The carnivores, in contrast, ended up playing a more... "Relatively" heroic role in the end by merit of assisting us through the endeavor for their own reasons like Castiel the Suchomimus, Crowley the Compy, Yan-chan and Hime the Raptors, even Snoke helped us in the Final Battle, the exceptions being Carnotaurus, Troodon, and the Tyrannosaurs though the Tyrannosaurs did not once try to directly kill us, they just went off their own business.
4847047
Ohoho... it goes much further than that, my friend.
Fun Herbivores vs. Carnivores Fact: Hippos are more dangerous than crocodiles by an extremely wide margin.
Sure, they may not feast on flesh and blood, but many herbivores can still be extraordinarily territorial, aggressive, and unpredictable. The hippopotamus is a particularly standout example. With Crocodiles, they're mainly ambush predators who attack exclusively from the water within a short distance, so you're fine if you just keep far enough away. But hippos spend time both on land and in water and consider both to be their territory. If they see something in their territory that they even slightly don't like, they'll get out of the water, run it down at 20mph, and crush it with those huge jaws of theirs. Hungry Hungry Hippos ain't so funny when you're on the receiving end. Actually, it'd more accurately be Angry Angry Hippos.
4847182
It's even WORSE during mating season. All those male bulls, pumped full of testosterone.
If you're caught between a hippo and it's chances to "score".....it's gonna be a bloodbath.....
4847269
Mating season? Forget about it! Approaching hippos at that time would be Darwin Award-worthy.
4847159
So would the herbivorous dinosaurs be aloof to the affairs of other dinosaurs if they were sapient?
4847765
Possibly, I couldn't say for sure.