A Plethora of Personal Preference: IMPLACABLE · 2:12am Apr 18th, 2018
What I liked:
•Formatting. The title, the first word of the chapter, and the image breaks between scenes.
•Plot. From the first word, I was drawn in. The big question was asked: who exactly is Raymond, and why does he hate Celestia? And what's up with Ford Denver?
•Exposition. Understated, no info dumps, no maid and butler dialogue—everything progresses naturally.
•Style. "Lord Eyebrow" got a snicker out of me, something many comedies can't do.
•Flow. This is the overall quality a story has, one that keeps me reading without reading. It felt like a story, and not just words on a page. This is the hardest to get right, and the most crucial.
What I disliked:
•(NITPICK) Formatting. The all-caps dialogue drew me out of the story. I could tell he was shouting; the exclamation marks and the context did their jobs. The em-dashes—or rather, their substitutions—also gave me a tickle of annoyance.
•(PERSONAL NITPICK) Author's note. I felt like this should have gone as a blog or a comment. While I enjoyed reading it, I feel that it did not belong in the story.
Nitpick: Small error/unconventional stylistic choice.
Personal Nitpick: Slightly unconventional stylistic choice/personal disapproval of conventional stylistic choice.
Rating: Gold
