• Member Since 25th Mar, 2015
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

The Hat Man


Specialties include comedy, robots, and precision strikes to your feelings. Hobbies include hat and watch collecting. May contain alcohol.

More Blog Posts383

  • 2 weeks
    How Many Times Does Trixie Actually Say "I"?

    One of Trixie's best-known traits in the fandom is that she speaks in the third person all the time. But does she really? Turns out, no one has ever counted the times she says "I." Until now...

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    12 comments · 199 views
  • 2 weeks
    Reference/Inspiration List for "Where Black Seas Lap the Shores of Dead Stars"

    Rather than litter the author's notes with references in my usual style, I thought I'd try something a little different. So, for the curious, I've made a separate blog post of all the references and allusions you might have missed!

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    6 comments · 95 views
  • 2 weeks
    "Iron Horse" fans: New Robot Story news!

    Hello, robot fans! Knowing the gorgeous, tasteful people you are, I have two things that might be of interest to you...

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    4 comments · 241 views
  • 3 weeks
    New Story: "Where Black Seas Lap the Shores of Dead Stars"

    Featuring references to Star Trek, Greek tragedies, and the Moody Blues! And yes, it has robots in it. (No, not that one.) I'm really proud of this one, folks, so I hope you read it and let me know if you enjoy it. Love ya lots, folks!

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    3 comments · 81 views
  • 10 weeks
    Hat Man Reviews: "Haze" by Bandy!

    Haze is a story that is filled with big ideas: Cloud empires. Flying earth ponies. Ancient religions. Superpower-inducing fungi. Unfortunately, much like the mushroom-munching ponies in this story, this story might be biting off more than it can handle…

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    6 comments · 160 views
Apr
14th
2018

"Human After All" Update Delayed (But at least there's a preview!) · 2:35pm Apr 14th, 2018

Yeah, sorry everyone, but I've been feeling a bit under the weather and wasn't happy with some things so I need more time to work on it. Plus, I'd need to give the editing team and illustrator time to do their thing. So, come hell or high water, the next update will be on April 22. Everyone's been really supportive of the new story, and I'd hate to disappoint anyone. Still, to tide everyone over, here's a preview from the upcoming chapter! Enjoy!


Preview: "The Smartphone"

Sunset reached into her jacket and brought out her phone.

“I see… it does not look at all like the phones we have,” Turing said, peering closely at it. “What is the purpose of this glass on the front?”

“Oh, that’s the screen. Here, let me show you.” Sunset pressed a button and the screen lit up, displaying her home page. It displayed the time and weather as well as several icons.

“I see,” Turing said, narrowing her eyes at it. “But is this truly a phone? I do not see how it works.”

“It’s actually pretty easy,” Sunset said. “You just find the icon of the app you want, like this, see?” She used her finger to change screens as Turing watched in fascination. “Like, if I want to use a calculator, I just use this app.” She tapped the icon, bringing it up, and did a quick equation to show Turing. “Or if I want to take a picture…”

She held up the phone in front of Turing Test and pressed a button, startling her with a flash of light. She showed Turing the screen.

“You have taken photograph of me!” Turing cried excitedly. “But the image is not printed. How was it produced?”

“Honestly, I’m not even sure,” Sunset replied. “But it works. And that’s not even close to all it can do. It can even play music if I want to.”

She moved her finger a few more times when, quite suddenly, music emanated from the phone.

We've just got the day to get ready
And there's only so much time to lose
Because tonight, yeah, we're here to party
So let's think of something fun to do…

“That’s one of the Rainbooms’ songs and—”

“How did you get a phonograph record inside such a small device?” she asked. “Or is it radio? That technology is being developed in Equestria as well.”

Sunset shook her head. “No, it’s just digital information. You know, stored electronically? After all, since you’re a robot, your head must be filled with that kind of stuff.”

“Yes, but the technology used to create me is based on magic,” Turing said. “Twilight Sparkle informed me that magic was fairly scarce in this world.”

“Well, humans found a way,” Sunset said with a shrug. “I’ve got lots of songs on here, if you want to hear something else.”

“How many songs do you have?”

Sunset shrugged. “I don’t know… a few hundred?”

Turing gawked at her. “A few hundred?! And you carry them all on such a tiny device?”

“Yep!” Sunset said. “Oh, and, of course, it’s still a phone. Speaking of which...”

She moved her finger a few more times and the sound of ringing was heard. A moment later, a familiar voice said “Helloooo!”

“Hi, Pinkie,” Sunset said, speaking into the phone.

“Ah, hello, human Pinkie Pie,” Turing said, recognizing the voice.

“Hi, strange voice I’ve never heard before! What are you and Sunset doing today?”

“Oh, nothing much,” Sunset said. “I’m just showing Turing Test here my phone. She’s from, um, ‘out of town.’”

“She’s another pony? Oh my gosh, I can’t wait to meet her!”

“In actuality, Pinkie Pie, I am not simply a pony,” she said, “I am also a robot.”

“Neat!”

“Why don’t you come out and meet us, Pinkie?” Sunset asked.

“I’d love to, but I’m still in class right now. I’m listening to Miss Cheerilee talk about stuff… oh, now she’s coming over here! And now she’s making a frowny face. And now she’s telling me to put the phone away because I’m still in class and shouldn’t be talking on my phone! And now she’s telling me to stop narrating everything that’s happening! Now she’s—”

“Miss Pie, hang up that phone or you’ll be continuing that conversation in detention!”

“Oops! Looks like I have to go. Are we still meeting you at the Tasty Treat later?”

“Uh, sure!”

“Great! I hope I can meet you and your new robot frie—”

“PINKIE, PUT THAT PHONE AWAY!”

The phone went silent.


That's it for now (and keep in mind that the final version may differ a bit from this), but I hope you'll enjoy the next chapter! See you then! :raritywink:

Comments ( 4 )

So, come hell or high water, the next update will be on April 22.

That’s one hell of a birthday present. :pinkiehappy:

4839912
:pinkiehappy: Happy week before your birthday! :pinkiehappy:

I did read the preview...now I regret it...
Because now I want more!!! :pinkiecrazy: :pinkiecrazy: :pinkiecrazy:

But yes! Take your time. Don't stress yourself. Have a tea. Or two. It is worth to wait for the best robot. :moustache:

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