May the muffins be forever in your favour.When people deliberately take things you say out of context..... · 1:14pm Apr 7th, 2018
Recently, I asked someone for a favor. There was something I needed help with and they agreed and gave me that favor.
It was something that required a bit of work and effort to get executed. And it was a difficult task for them, cause certain circumstances made it near impossible to fulfill my request for help. But they made everything work. The outcome wasn't optimal or perfect and not 100% the way I desired, due to the difficult circumstances I mentioned, but I was grateful for it that they managed to help me out, cause if they wouldn't have, I would have been left with a huge problem and with no idea how to solve it.
After the successful help, I expressed my gratitude to them. I, of course, mentioned how it is a pity that there were these certain circumstances that prevented everything from turning out even better than it did, but I made sure to give my "knight in shining armor" (for the lack of a better term right now, so don't mind the cheesiness) the impression that he did good in helping me out and that it was great he managed to do what I needed help with under less than ideal conditions.
We both acknowledged numerous times how difficult those conditions were while working together on solving my problem, but despite that, working with them was a very chilled experience and very smooth relation.
When they answered on my expression I gave them, I was called ungrateful, accused of being dismissive of their effort and of degrading them, blamed for asking for help in the first place and, finally, asked for money in return in a very underhoofed way and blamed for it that I did not think on paying them. And, just to explain the latter, they offered their help for free. Nowhere did they mention to me they expect me to give them money in return. That came entirely out of nowhere.
In addition to this, I got blamed for it that I didn't say up front that I would not even be able to pay them right now after I'm still recovering from my moving expenses from a few months ago and told I didn't allow them to make a fully-informed decision about my request for help. Go figure.
After I got this unexpected answer, I faithfully believed there has been a misunderstanding, and I answered and explained the meaning of my words and how my "dismissive and degrading comments" where referring to the difficult circumstances we encountered while working together and not to their effort and help and the favor they have given me. Even though I was patient and gave them sufficient time to answer on my explanation, I was met with silence. So I trotted away from the conversation.
Now, a thing you have to know about me is, I don't like to ask for help a whole lot. There are exceptions to this. There are a few things that are very dear to me for which I am willing to jump over my own pride and do ask for help if I need it. The request for help I talked about here was about such a thing.
But other than those few things, I don't like to ask for help and rather be independent and find own solutions for my own problems, instead of relying on others and their willingness to help me. The reason? Events like this.
If it is for one of these things that are very dear to me, I don't have a problem with asking for help and with accepting help. And I show myself very grateful for the help I got then. But when I get met with blame and wild accusations, this gratefulness dies. Which it did in this case.
With that said, the whole event makes me conflicted. If said person is peeved about my unwillingness to accept that I'm the ungrateful jerk that I am not and for resisting their accusations, their help will be locked for me in the future. But at the same time, accepting blame for something I did not commit is not a desire I have, for obvious reasons.
Their help is something I might need again in the future, as the problem they helped solving me occurs rather frequently and this was the first time I could not solve it myself and had to rely on someone else to solve it. And when they help you, the result is always amazing. But after being blamed like that and accused of being ungrateful for no good reason? I might relinquish the great assistance they have to offer in the future.
I apologize for venting like this here. It's not something I normally want to clog up my author blog with and I prefer to only put infos about my fics and writing process and, now with Season 8, episode reviews here. But this is something that stung and I needed to let it out.
And now, we return to your regularly scheduled program of pony fiction. Stay on this channel for news about a little filly with a very hard homelife. Soon, on Fluttercheer TV!
That end sentence made my day! And sadly, that’s humanity today, getting more and more rude and selfish.
4834976
It's not something that is new to me..... Not by far. I have come to expect things like that at this point.
If anyone ever wonders why I'm a rather unsocial pony, that is why.
4834981
I see. Don’t let such guys get you down, your work is great!
4834987
Thanks and I won't.^^ It drained me yesterday and made me go to bed early, but I'm over it and won't let something like this get me down again, least, not in the near future.
Thank you for sticking around even under venting like this!
4834992
That’s what this fandom is all about and your stories with Dinky always cheered me up on a bad day, so that’s the least I can do.
4834993
Yes, it's really what it always should be about, even though it isn't always like this. But I can see that this spirit is still there in some places and I'm grateful if I meet it.^^
4834994
You and me both. And if you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me.
4834995
Thanks.^^
4835015
You’re welcome.
Helping other's should come from the heart, not the pocket.
Don't give up on humanity just yet, some out there know the meaning of generosity.
4835414
I fear this is something that already happened, a few years ago. There is the occasional, rare exception of a human and I am appreciative if I meet such an exception, but for the most part, I have lost all hope for humanity. The few exceptions that exist aren't enough to change this species for the better.
Which isn't as bad as it sounds. Knowing what is most likely to expect from humans makes things easier, as it spares you a lot of disappointment. I really live by the philosophy of "Hope for the best, but expect the worst" when dealing with the human species.
But I agree with the first line. Taking money should be done out of need for survival, not to satisfy a feeling of greed.