Updates

I just realized I've been pounding my head against the same chapter of House since September...
It was a fun idea, but it had no meat. Lessons learned: don't confuse a punchline for a scene, sometimes you do need to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

The final conclusion is that I'm going to scarp the chapter and skip that day altogether; moving on to the next beat in the story. Hopefully, this will mean I can actually get a chapter out in two to four weeks. There was a time I could hammer out a rough draft in two weeks, lets see if I can get back to that.

Comments

[D48]

...Ouch. There's admittedly a part of me that is curious what the punchline is and if there's a way to use it as a throwaway gag to not completely loose it, but it sounds like you're probably better off dumping it here to get it out and make it easier to move on.

[m1ntf4n]

Noice

[Rocinante]

4823244

Hand on the doorknob, I took a deep breath and smiled; ready to greet my new client and give them my best.

“Hel-” the word stuck in my throat for a moment. Where I’d expected to find a mare’s eyes, I found powerful thighs.

My gaze traced up the creature.

There was no pony’s face here either, only a wall of crimson fur stretched over rippling muscles.

I looked up some more.

“lo...” I managed to say after a second. It was like looking up at Red Sonja, steel bikini and all, but with a face crowned by black and shiny horns.

A seven foot minotaur smiled down at me and giggled. It was a rich sound, feminine but strong. “You’re so cute!” she said with a colorful accent.

A nervous smile played across my face. “Thanks...” It was then I realized she had grocery bags tucked under each arm. As strange as this was, I still needed to be a proper host. I shook my head and returned my smile. “Can I get that for you?” I asked, reaching for one of the bags.

“No. You sit down, be comfortable,” she said still smiling. “I’ll put these up.” She took a half step forward, prompting me to move back and allow her in.

[D48]

4823257
Heh, yeah. I can definitely see why you wanted to do that, and I can also see exactly why it didn't wind up going anywhere else. You might be able to reuse it as an anecdote he tells someone else or recalls later since you can trail off after that point, but I'm definitely with you on there being nowhere to go with this after the fact.

[D48]

4823257
Hm, I just had another thought. You might be able to make use of that as a chapter end. Next time you have him doing something before an appointment, you can use that to show that his larger life is continuing in amusing ways without overstaying the joke. Just cut it at the "you're so cute" line and tighten the rest of that paragraph up a bit so it has more punch as a finale and you're good.

[Smikey]

Great news! I hope you use some of that. Shane need to be shaken a little, he takes his life too easy.

[eL VeeJay]

Loved that scene. I hope it'll find a way into a chapter, perhaps as an ending to the chapter as others suggested or as the end of a scene. Looking forward to new chapter(s) !

I wonder if Shane ever gets one of the mane six. Could be fun (and awkward).
"Thanks for visiting me here in Ponyville on such short notice," Twilight said.
"No problems - anything for a friend," I said, waving it off.
"I'd like you to meet my friend Applejack," Twiight said and gestured with a foreleg as we entered the map room.
<silence...>
"Erhm...we...sort of already met..." AJ and I mumbled in unison.