After a short break

So, I took a short break from writing A Rich Everglow adventure to write myself a oneshot. It's something I try a little between several different chapters, try brainstorming or dabbling in writing something else.

(Or occasionally trying to continue my on pause stories. I'm probably close to calling it a day forever for Mantle. The remaining )

But I've finished the first draft of the WiP name: I'll Be Haunting You.

Wherein Pinkie Pie dies and has to compete with Death for her soul. But would Death truly be satisfied with losing his quarry?

Anyway, I'm looking for some people to be critical about it, and I'd figure I'd throw up a blog first. More along the lines of general prereading, although if someone is willing to go into detail I'd be happy to.

Anyway, a preview:

Pinkie Pie opened her eyes, and saw darkness.
She sat up with a squeal. “I’m blind!” Being blind would be the worst thing. How could she see party decorations, or a delicious cake, or the smiles of her friends if she couldn’t see?! She looked around in a panic. “Mister Cake? Missus Cake? Twilight?!” But she couldn’t see or hear anyone, although there was an ominous echo.
Pinkie sighed and sat down, looking down at the pleasant pink shade she was. The pleasant pink shade she’ll never see again!
Except she could see it just fine now. She looked down at her hoof, twisting it around, confirming it was in fact her hoof and she could, in fact, still see it.
So she wasn’t blind, just in a mysterious black realm with nothing in it.
The realization didn’t comfort her much.