Spotting Narcissistic Traits in Others and Ourselves — Why Is It Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism (A Book Review)

By Sandy Hotchkiss (Reviewed by B)

This summary (if you can call it that) was written some time ago. Please forgive the many hiccups in prose.

Narcissism is the inability to deal with shame. Therefore, the cure to anyone possessing narcissistic traits is to cure the shame hidden behind them, which is a journey in of itself.

The journey is worth it. No longer will you need to inflate yourself over every transgression, nor compare yourself to others, or have to put forth the energy to maintain the wall of illusion that is continuously bombarded by the shame being fired by the other side.

You’ll be able to write characters as people, and even treat people as if they are human. You will see both the goods and the bads of someone, and not just one at a time. You’ll finally be able to embrace reality and live a healthy life, then a segmented one that always serves to be a constant disappointment.

Now, onto the journey itself.

The first thing one must do is to learn how to deal with shame. To face it or deal with it – not to let it linger and taint our ego’s. If this problem can be fixed, then all that follows suits should wane in ferocity.

The second is not to think magically, but realistically.

So when it comes to a party, a project, or of oneself – think of reality and not of your delusions. For if you set up illusions and are shown the truth, you will deflate.

You need to be objective about stuff, then try to push the envelope. Always expecting the best leads to constant disappointment, while knowing reality allows me to work and bring out the best in everyone. Self-acceptance is key.

Don’t make others feel bad to make yourself feel better, not judge them on superficial things. Observe, do not judge, and live your life as you see fit. If you’re honest, you should be fine for the time being.

We are not entitled to anything – we do not get what we deserve; we get what we get.

Try to consider other people's lives and their feelings, as this will lead the way to empathy. Only caring about yourself will only get you so far.

Always try to be objective, even about feelings; even if you may be in the wrong and guilt-ridden. Being objective, no matter what, is the only way to achieve truth and ensure that justice is given to everyone.

Other people are other people – not extensions of yourself. Try your best at being yourself, for you are unique, and take an interest in other for their uniqueness. Never give who you are to someone else – you two are separate people.

So trying to become more won’t fix the fundamental issue. You must retreat further into yourself and fix all that is wrong, before building upon those layers with a weight you may not be ready to bear. But when you know yourself, you know what to improve, so you can become the type of person to bear that type of weight.

Becoming the hero or someone else, or any other fantasy won’t fix the fundamental issue. You have to retreat and fight whatever it is at your core.

Blargh. Worst review so far. Sorry folks!

~ B_25 ~