cleverpun’s Idea Graveyard: Never Tamed · 8:27am Jan 19th, 2018
Another year, another in my series of Idea Graveyard posts, where I discuss an idea of mine that failed to get off the ground for one reason or another. What made me discard the idea, and why haven’t I tried again. Today’s subject is different from my previous failures: its shortcomings are more narrow and simple, but in some ways that makes them harder to fix.
Today’s failure is called Never Tamed. I think it was sparked by a post from kegisak, discussing an oceanic equivalent of the Everfree Forest. It’s an idea that fanfiction still hasn’t explored much. A place outside the control of ponies. A dangerous mystery, full of mysterious danger.
Here’s the note I wrote to myself:
The Everfree Forest is one of Equestria's most dangerous landmarks—a place where nature runs itself, where ponies have no control. Doctor [OC name] has been studying the place for decades, and is no closer to discovering why it is the way it is. After hitting dozens of dead ends, they decide to take their research in a new direction; the ocean.
The Unbroken Ocean (Everfree Sea?) is a stormy, violent patch of water in the middle of the Pacecific Ocean. No ship has ever crossed it alive, no navigator mapped it, no pegasi redirected it. There are old mare's tales of an island at the center of the biggest storm, with treasure or sexy merponies or ancient temples or a dozen other temptations.
Only a ship crewed by psychopaths would dare enter it, but you'd be surprised who you a can hire with a big enough research budget.
Potential plot points include: an actual island being there; old-timey diving suits; an Awful Truth (ooh, maybe Celestia placed magic there to protect something? As a failsafe in case ponies ever went extinct? Maybe Discord or one of his precursors lost a limb there? Maybe rigidly controlling every other place creates feedback at certain spots?); A crew of colorful Ragtag Bunch of Misfits
Already, this sounds like a good adventure story. It practically writes itself. The Doc never developed a gender or any personality traits, but just about anything would fit, really. I would probably have made them an overly studious rules stickler, to create some character comedy.
The crew also popped into existence without much effort (or at least the initial ones);
There’s Crystal Compass, the sassy pegasus navigator. The fun-loving, occasionally bossy type whose lackadaisical attitude belies an effortless mastery of her job. Possibly with a latina accent or something.
Captain Steel Anchor is the type who has seen it all, and participated in most of it. Another character who didn’t develop a gender, but is the grizzled old master. Rather than making them grumpy or world-weary, their age just made them better at their job.
"I still got th' letter a marque framed in my office. Not valid anymore, a course, but that was prolly my favorite job."
"You mean being a legal pirate?" Doc asked. The disdain in his voice was obvious, even to the captain.“Weren’t piracy.” The captain chuckled. “Paid a lot better than piracy, with half a th’ fuss.”
One or two more characters could fill out the roster, and picking some more archetypes would no doubt be pretty easy.
So far, this sounds like a story that writes itself, doesn’t it? Just throw in some swash, a dash of buckle, perhaps a little bit of actual pirates, a few references to Jules Verne and The Odyssey... But the note I wrote to myself above may provide some clues as to why it didn’t get off the ground. And as mentioned, it’s a surprisingly simple problem that’s hard to fix.
What could I put in the middle of the Unbroken Ocean? Why has the Ocean remained Unbroken? Does the plucky research crew make it there? Why could they, when so many others failed? Is the final destination, the center of the ocean, some mutual secret, that all who reach it agree to keep? Is it an actual danger? Is it an overblown enigma with a mundane explanation? Is there treasure, merponies, or just a fat lot of nothing? Is there an island, an ancient city, or perhaps an eldritch creature?
No matter how much I thought about it, there was no answer that could possibly prove satisfactory. If the crew manage to reach it, then what do I show the audience? How does one foreshadow such an enigma, create a satisfactory explanation for it? Any reveal would pale before the buildup, because that is the inherent allure of mystery.
And if I neglected to reveal it, either ending the story as they arrived, or if hardship prevented them from reaching, then it makes the entire story pointless.
A story needs to keep the promises it makes. Be that the promise of a happy ending, of the heroes losing, or of the mystery being solved. There was no way to construct this story without breaking the promises it made.
You could also argue that this story could just as easily use pre-existing characters instead of OCs, since so many of the characters share archetypes and personality traits with the Main Six. Or that it doesn’t really have much to do with ponies. But I’m only human, and I like OC-only swashbuckling adventure stories too.
If I had a fanfiction idea I regretted discarding, this might be one of them. Or the slice-of-life spinoff of “Princest Is Wincest,” It Said starring Razor Wind and Empty Sky. But at the same time, I don’t really regret discarding it, because that one glaring issue could have brought down the whole story, and it lacks an easy solution.
Thanks for reading. Whether this helped spark your own ideas, or whether it showed you some things to avoid in your own writing, I hope it was interesting.
As always, comments and criticism welcome.
My idea:
The island is essentially a macguffin, yes? Everyone wants to get there, no one ever does, no one has actual reason other than they want to.
In that case, the story shouldn't be about finding the island, but about what the journey towards it means. It should be about the doc's character growing, and how he/she recovers from the disappointment of their inevitable failure. The climax would come after the doc got home, the ship was wrecked, etc. Maybe even have a conversation with celestia or twilight.
As for what the journey meant, there are some options. They depend on the doc and his/her character traits. Were they old and prejudiced? Not any more! Maybe they were young and ambitious, but lonely. Love interest among the crew! Or just friends. Maybe their parents forced them down the path of becoming a doctor, but they don't want that. Bam! Join the crew on their next boat for a life of adventure!
Ooh, what if this was a daring do origin story? I haven't read many of those...
The Doc looked at the small wooden box sitting on a the only rock of the small sand island. The air was still, no sound aside from the lazy rhythm of waves crashing on the shore half a trot behind him.
He looked up, the wall of storm clouds in the distance bubbled and raged.
There was a note attached to the box. Discord's sweet memories and fake childhood pictures. Don't touch if you like your organs where they are.
A tired sigh escaped him. He turned around. His companions looked back at him, the traces of the ordeals they had overcome well visible on their faces. And yet, despite everything, there was still life in their eyes. It was a glittering, a thirst for adventure, and defiance for a fate that seemed to have wicked sense of humor.
He smiled and said, "We'll say the treasure was inside us all along and that it was friendship, alright?"
4777119 Yes, the island is a macguffin, but that's exactly what makes writing around it so awkward. The anticlimax is a very dangerous thing. If you make the foreshadowing too obvious, then the story lacks suspense or surprise. If you make it too subtle, then readers will be annoyed by the mystery never being solved.
The idea of making a Daring Do origin story is interesting. There's some parallels to be made with the Tomb Raider remake, but I actually liked that game so that wouldn't be a deal breaker.
4777124 alternately; "Let Us Never Speak Of This Again"
4778244
New idea- what about a "journey to the center of the earth" style story, where there are multiple islands, each with their own wonders (but nothing life-changing), and the adventurers have no idea which island is the one with the fabled "treasure".
I think that's a great comparison, because in the Jules Verne story, they don't actually make it all the way- or maybe they did, it was left open. But in the end they appreciated the time spent, and all they had seen.