Random Ramblings CCXVI · 3:14pm Dec 21st, 2017
IN WHICH GODDAMMIT KNIGHTY
So, knighty has decided to mess with the site again. At least it's still semi-usable for me, but… all the new tags! Gah. Now I've gotta go through all my stories and update stuff. I suppose it's a good thing I'm not one of those schmucks with over 100 fics on this site.
Last night, I gathered up all my ex-girlfriend's clothes -- three thirty-gallon trash bags worth -- and will donate them to the local crisis shelter later today. I gave her plenty of opportunities over the past year to pick these things up; she refused. I'm hoping one day she'll pull her head out of her butt and realize how badly she's treated me. As a dude, I've been conditioned by society to believe I'm always the bad guy simply due to my sex/gender.
It is true that I hurt her during one of my panic attacks -- I think that's the excuse she gave to all her friends for why she left me, but the real reason, which I knew before she did and called her on it, is because she'd developed a crush on another man and didn't want to cheat, so -- since she was already feeling in a rut with me -- she decided to bolt, with her assuring me the separation wouldn't be permanent. Over the course of less than a year she hooks up with and then marries a third guy she'd been encouraging me to become friends with (awkward), and then she unpersons me. Yes, he is better than me in every way. I genuinely like him. But I also want him to die. I've never denied I'm the jealous type. She probably isn't worth it.
But dammit! I'm a thirty-something year old who will soon be living with his mother, can't get or hold a job due to résumé phobia and inability to handle stress, and spends most of his free time writing MLP fanfic or whiny blogposts. She was probably my last chance at landing a girl. And I lost her. Every other girl I've ever liked is now either married (often with kids), lesbian, or WAY out of my league. Plus, girls have always made the first move with me. I don't socialize well.
I've concluded I'll probably die alone.
I'm sleepy. I've been awake all night. So... goodnight.
Peace out!
As one of those schmucks, I'm actually happy to see the recent tag updates, because it means we're that much closer to genfic, which I've been waiting two years for now. Also, it took me about an hour to audit my entire catalog on this site for new tags.