Sunny Sunday #4: Pitfalls Part 2: Self-Doubt

Another Sunday, another day to make sunny. I'm Crysis Commander and welcome to the fourth installment of Sunny Sunday. Last week we took a look at one of the common pitfalls of negative self talk (self-pity), and today we will look at another challenge we may face when conversing with ourselves: self-doubt. Yes, there will be a lot of 'selfs' in these next few installments. Let's get started.

Off the top of your head, what is one thing you think you are unable to do? Why can't you? Lastly, is this reason valid? Self-doubt may play a bigger part in this thinking process than we may believe. Like we looked at before, our subconscious is focused on two things about most if not all others: survival and safety. We received this ingrained mindset from our ancestors that had to rely on there instincts to survive. While we've traded natural jungles for concrete ones, not much has changed in regard to the internal need for security. We could look at Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs in relation to this, but this isn't a psychology lesson, per say.

As mentioned previously, we subconsciously do not want to put ourselves in danger. When we come across a situation that prevents an uncertainty or at the very least a noticeable unease, we consider whether or not we should even try. This is commonly known as Fight or Flight - a catchy little name to our response to threats to our safety. The Fight or Flight response doesn't only appear when we are in physical danger, though. Speaking in front of people, asking someone on a date, or trying something we aren't certain we can do can also trigger this response.

"I'm not smart enough", "I've never been good at this kind of thing", or "I doubt I can do this" are just a few of the common phrases we might tell ourselves that exhibit self-doubt. While being cautious can save us from making rash, poor decisions, self-doubt can keep us from making decisions that can enrich our lives and make them better. We become paralyzed into inaction, in a sense. When others try to help us out of this situation, their words may fall on deaf ears because if we cannot believe in ourselves, how can we believe what others tell us?

One method to overcome the apprehension of self-doubt and take action is the '5 Second Rule' coined by Mel Robins. While I will link the video in which Miss Robins discusses her approach, it essentially comes down to this: when we feel those instincts kicking in, those ones that make us doubt ourselves or whether we can accomplish something, count back from five (5...4...3...2...1...). Once we reach one, we give ourselves a push forward into whatever it is we were nervous about, like a rocket taking off from the ground and into the sky. That's a fun way to think about it!

On the surface it sounds bizarre, but it works rather well. Counting requires focus, a focus you take away from the anxiety and the fear. It also activates the frontal cortex of your brain, or the part that influences decision making. Sometimes fact is stranger than fiction! Miss Robins explains it much better than I could, but I tried to sum up the idea how I could.

Next week comes a look at another pitfall and how it can be managed. A Sunny Sunday on Christmas Eve! Until next time, friends.

Sincerely,
Crysis Commander

art by yakoshi