Health Updates

Good news! I'm neither dead nor dying!

And that's the end of the good news segment!

So I've gone to a lot of doctors and done some ice-cream-aided soul searching I've discovered that I haven't been in the best mental or physical state for quite some time now. I'm not expected to further deteriorate physically, though that's a bit tenuous because nobody is sure what's really wrong. I'm getting used to living with a constant tremor and occasional tick, and starting to build some semblance of a schedule for myself around the chronic exhaustion. I get dizzy if I try to do too much more than walk around a bit, though thankfully my main hobbies of writing, drawing and gaming generally don't require lots of walking.

Mentally, I've been referred to a psychologist to help me move past the denial stage of my very drawn out realization that I've been irreparably changed in what I can and can't do. I'm rather stubborn on all levels, even when I don't want to be, so that's going to be a journey. I still wince at the thought of accepting that I medically qualify as physically disabled, just because I still feel like I should be able to buckle down and force my way through this, nevermind the fact that I already tried that and it actually just brought me closer to death than I've ever been before.

Mildly angsty life ranting aside, I still want to continue writing the Hourglass. I have been writing, but it's been a little hard between all the doctor visits and the excessive sleeping. I've also got another story idea inspired by the most recent WriteOff Association prompt "Here At The End Of All Things," so be on the lookout for that if you want. It'll be a bit lower on my priority list than Hourglass, partially because I'm still beating myself up for writing only 1/10th of what I wanted to for it during NaNoWriMo, but both should update with a relative sense of consistency. Currently my plan is to update each story once a month because my standards for myself are lower than a worm's limbo bar at the moment. That may change, of course. God I hope that changes.

For now, sorry for all the hiatuses up to this point, and sorry in advance for the hiatuses yet to come. Should an absolute fucking miracle occur, that being my sudden curing or equally sudden death, I'll do my best to inform whoever it is that reads these blogs. Slightly less chance of notice being posted in the latter case.