. Again, thank you all for the support and I hope to continueBlog Entry #31- So Close... · 10:38pm Nov 28th, 2017
So I got a review of my recent story and it almost passed but was a hair off due to these reasons-
Rationale: Okay, so, this was a nice little read. I enjoyed it. Had a good plot, characters, and a very good interpretation on what exactly Sci-Twi would be feeling after being possessed by Midnight. It's a classic case of PTSD. Hence the nightmares, depression, fear, and reluctance to tell Sunset about her nightmare. None of that is made easier with Midnight crawling around in her head either. Just putting it out there that Sci-Twi is more likeable than pony Twi. In my opinion anyways. However, the only thing that keeps this story from passing would be the small mistakes located in the narrative and even the dialogue. Missing commas, misused punctuation, and such. Additionally, there were several cases where you could use different words at the beginning of a sentence. If only just to make it look less repetitive. Repetition of words can become frustrating to read. My suggestion would be to grab an editor with a good grasp if synonymous words that you can insert into the narrative, as well as useful knowledge in grammatical techniques when describing action. Using "as" a lot can make you put it into the wrong places as well as using it too many times as the way I'm doing it now. Anywho, do a few more cleaning runs on the editing and this should look good as new. It's good, but not quite good enough for the Café.
Feel free to try again next month, bud. For now, good luck and keep it up!
- J.
Now this is the first shred of good news I've had in 3 months(and from that group). Ironically, I was expecting worse but luckily, I was wrong(to an extent) so if anyone could help me fix up said mistakes so it will be accepted, it will make me a 1000X happier. Thank you for your time.
Well, a good review is always good news!
Uhh, didn't I already agree to that? Being your proofreader and such?
4737008 Yes but that wasn't the story I sent you. Also, this was before you offered to be my editor