*sigh* · 1:46am Oct 19th, 2012
This is what I've been working on. It's decoration for a ceiling, for in my survival world (yes, I have one of those too).
Anyways, I've been procrastinating a lot. There's a scene in When Harmony Reigns I simply cannot write to my liking. Maybe the idea behind the scene itself is flawed, or maybe it's just my writing. Of course, I deem the latter more likely, but that doesn't remove the fact that I've been annoying myself to no end, trying to write a 2k-word chapter.
Have any of you guys ever had this? Where you've rewritten a chapter at least a dozen times, and it still won't, for lack of a better word, cooperate? It annoys me tremendously, but I refuse to publish a chapter I'm not at the very least satisfied with.
The blog takes a turn towards the rant-y side, here, so if you're not interested you might as well stop reading now, as I suspect most of you do even when I don't tell you to.
Perhaps the writing wouldn't be such a problem if I had reason to stay interested. Published a story after several months of work (admittedly, the result was mediocre at best) and received a whopping five comments (I am excluding multiple comments from one person, and Deathtap because he's a friend from the IRC, and doesn't have an objective opinion). Greener Pastures was a different story, really. My reason for cancelling that was that I feared you guys' reaction to the ending I had in mind.
The ending I had in mind for Greener Pastures (if you're going to rant about spoilers, I will delete your comment and probably block you for good measure. This is a clear warning and the story isn't going to get finished anytime soon, if at all) was one in which Big Mac simply hadn't told Twilight about his relationship with Fluttershy. When the failed relationship finally came to light, Twilight promptly dragged Big Mac to Fluttershy's place (threatening to tell his sister if he struggled), and force him to apologize. Big Mac's reason for visiting the lake was remorse; he felt sorry for Fluttershy, seeing as he himself wasn't sure about which of the two mares he loved more. Of course, the question "Did Twilight stay with him?" comes to mind. Yes, she did, but with a stern warning to never withhold such information from her again. When Fluttershy, after asking Big Mac to leave, asks Twilight how she could stay with him, I was planning on writing a small hopefully adorkable bit of dialogue over how Twilight really did care for the stupid red stallion, even if he messed up horrendously. Honestly, it was a cheesy ending to a cheesy story. If I've ruined your hopes somehow, I apologize, but not quite sincerely.
Anyway, moving on to what I was discussing (with myself, apparently),
I'm having trouble finding the motivation to write for When Harmony Reigns, in the face of being ignored. Yes, there are some upvotes and favs, and they are greatly appreciated, but they aren't nearly as many as there were on Greener Pastures. I realize that this may come over a bit... attention whore-y, but this is how I currently feel about the story. I appreciate what few people have thought to favourite the story, but the lack of constructive criticism is highly demotivational, to me. I know that there's something wrong with my writing, as it currently is, and nobody is telling me what. I received one comment regarding the quality of the story. I took it to heart (perhaps a little too much so. I do not handle negative feedback very well, regardless of its intent) and promptly started writing a one-shot. It was mentioned in a previous blog post of mine, named Rise Above This. It has since been cancelled, due to my lacking confidence in the face of negative feedback (yes, again).
Operetta, despite my own feelings about it, was posted because it received positive feedback, and only positive feedback. I can't say I value said feedback very much, seeing as it all came from friends, but perhaps the rating it currently has should have done something to boost my confidence. Sadly, this is not the case.
But I digress. I guess that the point of the blog post was to tell you guys that, despite previous claims that the chapter is to be a short one (and it is), I'm having problems with it. It got a tad out of hand with my ranting, but everybody needs to vent, from time to time.
If I can find the motivation, I will throw myself at chapter six again, going for attempt 13 at not fucking up. If lady luck consents to smile upon me, I shall finally write the scene so that it'll be at the very least satisfactory. If not, I might well give up on the story, to be picked up again at a later date. Somebody told me, recently, that my problem was that I didn't do anything but work on the story, which is why I started working on minecraft again. It hasn't helped.
Again, the feedback I have been given is much appreciated. If you're one of the few who actually bothers to comment, and also one of the few who have bothered to read this blog post start to finish, I can only offer my most humble apology. This shall probably not happen again.
One more thing before I go: what I've been listening to for the past three hours, now. I must warn you, though; there is some strong language in the song.
-Static.
The world of writing is a cruel and heartless one. The only advice I can offer is this: if you want to write to receive feedback and attention, you have to write something that people want to read, I.E. shipping. If you want to write for yourself, don't expect anyone in the entire world to care. Motivation will die off, yada yada yada, but that's the way things go. I gave up on it because I just wasn't feeling it anymore.