Read It Later Reviews #82 – Lost Time, From One Unicorn to Another, Lessons in Generosity, Study of Generosity, Spa and Order · 9:01pm Oct 30th, 2017
À la recherche du temps perdu (In Search of Lost Time) is a classic of French literature.
A few nights ago, I finally found it. Lost Time, that is.
I got the rest of the set done on Saturday… and then my laptop had major problems on Sunday which are as yet not fully resolved, but at least I got it working again. This wouldn’t ordinarily be a problem… except for the fact that my house is being remodeled and, at the moment, is full of nasty fumes. Good old VOCs.
Ah, well. As long as my laptop holds together until Friday, I’m good.
Today’s stories:
Lost Time by Bookplayer
From One Unicorn to Another by Comet Burst
Lessons in Generosity by PaulAsaran
Study of Generosity by PaulAsaran
Spa and Order by Skywriter
Lost Time
by Bookplayer
Drama, Romance
59,857 wordsRainbow Dash can’t wait for her first date with Applejack; they always have an awesome time hanging out, and a relationship just means there are even more physical activities they can try together. So when the dumb zap apple harvest postpones their date, she decides it’s the zap apples that are going to have to change their plans. Equestria should know by now that wild, ancient magic is no match for Rainbow Dash, especially when she might get laid.
Everything is going according to plan, until she crashes. Or, rather, until she wakes up after crashing and fifteen years have gone by. Fifteen years during which she seems to have been a very busy pony.
Now Rainbow Dash has to adjust to a life she never thought she wanted, and figure out if she’ll ever get to live the life that brought her here.
Why I added it:
A bit of backstory here. Many, many years ago, all the way back in August of 2013, I made a post about stories that I wanted to write. One of them had a premise involving a character waking up in the future in a relationship with a foal they couldn’t remember.
Flash forward to 2016, and Bookplayer, the person whose stories seem to be most likely to be mistaken for mine in writeoffs, writes a story called Lost Time, about Rainbow Dash getting a a crash and waking up in the future, with foals she can’t remember and married to a pony she had only just started dating.
This may surprise some of you, but I write stories that I want to read. I am in love with my own stories. So when Bookplayer wrote Lost Time, I was like “Yes! This is amazing! Someone wrote exactly the story I wanted, and I didn’t have to, and now I get to read it and be happy about it!”
Lost Time finished publication in January of 2016.
It is now October 2017.
Better late than never, right?
Review
Rainbow Dash is looking forward to her first date with Applejack. There’s just one problem: the zap apple harvest is coming up, and Applejack is going to be busy all week with it. The whole zap apple thing is very carefully timed in a way that is out of the hooves of mortal ponies.
Well, mortal earth ponies, anyway. But zap apples involve thunderstorms, and thunderstorms – even magical ones – are pegasus magic, right? All Rainbow Dash has to do is to speed things up a bit, and Applejack will be done a day early, before Rainbow Dash has to go off to be with the Wonderbolts, and they can have their first date (and maybe Rainbow Dash will even get lucky 
).
This goes even worse than you might expect, and soon, it is half-past the future and Rainbow Dash wakes up post-crash surrounded by kids she doesn’t recognize who are really worried about the spill their mom just took.
This is a very emotional story – sure, there’s something wonky and magical going on, and that is going to need to be dealt with. But until Twilight can figure out what is going on, Rainbow Dash is stuck in the future, with foals that she doesn’t remember having, but who need their mom to be there for her, and Applejack, a pony who loves the pony Rainbow Dash used to be, but who now has to deal with a Rainbow Dash who, just hours before, was thinking not about marrying and settling down, but how to get under Applejack’s tail on the first date.
Told entirely from the perspective of Rainbow Dash, we see how she’s forced to grow up very, very abruptly. She was a Wonderbolt, but quit to focus on her family – a decision the younger Dash can’t even fathom making. She’s been married to Applejack for more than a decade. She has three kids, and one of them is old enough – and smart enough – to realize that, however much his parents are trying to cover things up, that something is wrong.
She doesn’t even know if she’s going to go back and then have all of this fall out of her time travel, or if she’s stuck in the future forever – and all of this is swirling around as she fails to realize just what being a real adult means.
This story made me uncomfortable in ways that I really enjoyed. Applejack is dealing as best she can. Rainbow Dash is screwing up being a mom in ways that are both very Rainbow Dash and very sad, and it twists not only the reader up, but Rainbow Dash as well. Rainbow Dash has lost out on a lot, and her dream of being a Wonderbolt is perhaps still within her grasp – and yet, at the same time, if she does that, she’s basically setting aside a family that her previous self had felt was more important than the Wonderbolts.
Everything is a mess, and Rainbow Dash and Applejack have to pick up the pieces together, as ponies who, as far as one of them is concerned, never even so much as went on a single date.
I really liked this story. I have to admit I wasn’t entirely satisfied with the explanation of what happened, but that was really secondary to the story. The real focal point of the story is Rainbow Dash having to make it as a mom, even though she totally isn’t ready at all, and as a wife, even though Rainbow Dash isn’t even sure how much she likes Applejack. Rainbow Dash’s treatment of her kids hurts a bit, especially as it is obvious just how irresponsible she is being, and Applejack’s own quiet pain hurts in not quite the same way, but almost as much.
The concept is very solid, and the emotions are spot-on. The kids are believable Applejack and Rainbow Dash kids, and her oldest son, Leaf, works well in the story. The story hurts so good, but it is also lovely in its catharsis, without seeming too sappy.
All in all, I really shouldn’t have spent more than a year putting off reading this story; I really enjoyed it.
Recommendation: Highly Recommended.
From One Unicorn to Another
by Comet Burst
Drama
3,694 wordsRuling a nation on the brink of collapse is a stressful job, and nopony knows that better than Princess Platinum. With the pressure of a starving kingdom and fraying relationships with the Pegasus tribes, she has little option other than to seek the advice of her best friend and, perhaps, to take the first step to save everypony.
Why I added it: I love stories about the Founders of Equestria.
Review
This is a story about a ruler who is not ready to rule being cast into a very desperate situation. Princess Platinum may be arrogant, but she is aware of the starvation of her people. The demands from Commander Hurricane are only making things worse, so she turns to Clover the Clever for advice.
This story is one of those “fill in the backstory” things; this is setting up for the summit that we saw in the Hearth’s Warming Eve play, as we get the suggestion for the summit by the end of it. Unfortunately, as such, it doesn’t really add much; while we get some characterization of Clover and especially of Platinum, the plot is not only a foregone conclusion, but doesn’t really go much of anywhere. It is, to some extent, a headcanon dump type story, and while I thought that the characterization of the characters was reasonable enough, the story ultimately didn’t do much with them.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Lessons in Generosity
by PaulAsaran
Slice of Life
4,887 wordsScootaloo is the last pony Rarity ever thought would want to be more 'Rarity', but that's exactly what the filly claims. Sadly, Scootaloo's understanding of generosity is disastrously flawed.
Rarity's not about to let that stand.
Why I added it: PaulAsaran is a good writer.
Review
Scootaloo isn’t Rarity. And that’s something of a problem, because Rarity is attractive, and Scootaloo isn’t. There’s really only one solution – Scootaloo must ask Rarity how to be more like Rarity, generosity and all.
There’s just one problem – Scootaloo has no idea who Rarity really is, or what generosity really means.
This story is really more of a parable than anything else – a simple story used to illustrate a moral question, in this case, what generosity is, with Scootaloo serving as an audience substitute, and Rarity serving as the teacher. Rarity tells the story and does things in the story to show Scootaloo what generosity is… and yet, the whole thing felt kind of telly as a result. Rather than the events feeling at all organic, Rarity goes around to teach what generosity means, and while she does talk about why she does it and what it is, it ultimately doesn’t give me the same sort of warm fuzzies it would have if it felt more organic. I heard what generosity was, but the story, ultimately, did not make me feel it.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Study of Generosity
by PaulAsaran
Slice of Life
4,924 wordsA month ago, Scootaloo made the mistake of suggesting generosity was nothing more than looking rich and throwing things at less fortunate ponies. Rarity set her straight, and Scoots has a much better appreciation for the concept.
But when she asks Rainbow Dash about it, she's treated to a view of Rarity she didn't expect. Rarity's done thing in the past that don't mesh with the generous lifestyle she introduced Scootaloo to. Does that mean everything Rarity showed her was a lie? Is Rarity just a greedy, envious, corrupt fraud?
Scootaloo has to know more.
Why I added it: PaulAsaran mentioned he liked the sequel he wrote to Lessons in Generosity more than the original.
Review
I’m inclined to agree with him.
Scootaloo, while talking to Rainbow Dash, ends up coming across a story that paints Rarity in a much worse light. Curious, and a bit disturbed by how incongruous Rainbow Dash’s story was with Rarity’s presentation of herself in the previous story, Scootaloo goes around and asks the rest of the Mane 6 for embarrassing stories about Rarity, and quickly comes away with a quite alarming mental image.
This story has a bit more in the way of conflict than the first story – Scootaloo is having her mental image of a pony she respects destroyed, and is worried that Rarity is manipulating Scootaloo herself. It shows Rarity in a much more negative light, and then at the end we come to see a more balanced view of the prissy fashionable unicorn, as well as yet another view of what makes Rarity truly generous.
Still, at its heart, this is very much a slice of life piece – not a whole lot actually happens over the course of the story, and the audience already knows what kind of pony Rarity is, so there isn’t much of a sense of discovery there.
I’d really say that this is the biggest weakness of the story – slice of life pieces about learning a new side of someone else rely heavily on not knowing much about the person in question, and getting a sense of discovery along with the protagonist. But here, because we already know everything, at best we can get a slightly new light cast on Rarity.
That is, in the end, what you are going to get here. For me, it didn’t really quite end up feeling like enough.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Spa and Order
by Skywriter
Slice of Life
20,259 wordsPrincess Cadance's first diplomatic post to the City-State of Cloudsdale is off to a rocky start, as she deals with a mysteriously intransigent sitting ambassador, the damnable ever-present pegarazzi, and an insatiable alicorn metabolism that just won't quit. But even the coldest of cities can hide places of warmth and friendship to help you get back on your hooves after a fall, and on one bitter night, Cadance finds hers in a little place called "Posey's."
Part of the "Cadance of Cloudsdale" cycle.
Why I added it: Skywriter is a good writer, and I am interested in seeing where he goes with this.
Review
The immediate sequel to The First Time You See her, this story picks up very shortly after that one leaves off. It seems that Cadance, who is supposed to be Princess Celestia’s personal ambassador to the free state of Cloudsdale, is not, in fact, going to be ambassador after all – her predecessor has refused to step down and Cadance doesn’t just want to order the ambassador to quit. Indeed, it is rather difficult to even set up a meeting with the ambassador – something strange is going on, the ambassador refuses to leave the embassy at all and hardly takes visitors, and there are hints of something sinister going on behind the scenes in Cloudsdale.
This all made me really want to read the story. Then it turned out to be about something else.
That isn’t a bad thing, but it definitely subverted my expectations (clearly, I should have read the tags). I was expecting something more along the lines of a triller versus the low-key drama that it actually is, as Cadance, who is being a perfect little brat, refuses to use the money that Princess Celestia sent along with her, despite the fact that Cadance, as an alicorn, is ravenously hungry and needs to eat vast amounts of food to keep fed.
The problems in this story are entirely of Cadance’s own making; Cadance may care about other ponies, but she struggles to really behave like a mature adult, and while she wants to be self-reliant, she is ultimately a bratty teenager in denial of how much she really does depend on others for stability in her life.
Cadance works well here, and her vacillating between being a theoretically responsible adult and being a bratty teenager works well. We get to see some other characters, including the return of Auric Turncoat, Cadance’s mysterious griffon guardian, and a new OC in Cloudsdale who becomes a major focus of the piece (though in her personality, she is a very familiar OC). They all work well, and in the end, this piece was a pleasure to read, giving bits and pieces of characterization and world-building as well as setting up more of Cadance’s personality.
I have to admit, I am looking forward to seeing how the whole Cloudsdale situation ends up playing out, as well as her eventual romance with the poor, long-suffering Shining Armor, who has no idea what he is really getting himself into. I was a bit disappointed that this didn’t do more to advance the plot, but that disappointment is more meta; reading the story, I was satisfied.
I just want to see how everything ends up unfolding.
Recommendation: Worth Reading.
Summary
Lost Time by Bookplayer
Highly Recommended
From One Unicorn to Another by Comet Burst
Not Recommended
Lessons in Generosity by PaulAsaran
Not Recommended
Study of Generosity by PaulAsaran
Not Recommended
Spa and Order by Skywriter
Worth Reading
And there we go.
Why do I put off reading things I’ll like for so long?
The world may never know.
Number of stories still listed as Read It Sooner: 218
Number of stories still listed as Read It Later: 644
Number of stories listed as Read It Eventually: 2149
There's no secret that I'm in love with the Cadence of Cloudsdale series. This is one of the reasons why. It's up to the point where Skywriter is getting fanfiction of his fanfiction.
Y'know? I'm all right with these interpretations. Heck, I'd go so far as to say they're spot on. I guess the real question is whether the story type appeals to you or not, and in this case they didn't. Based on this, I don't expect that you'd care for the third entry in the series, although I am trying to take it in a slightly different direction.
I'm flattered you think I'm someone worth reading in the first place, though.
In regards to Paul's pieces, I'm not sure I inherently agree that the audience 'knowing' outside information about something within the story makes the pieces weaker... Even in a slice of life story. Just because we know something that our main character does not, it doesn't diminish the value of the character's discovery of their own answers and decisions, and as such, learn more about our main character. Hell, this is a cornerstone plot device that's used in comedy. At the end of the day, a review is an opinion, and I respect your critical opinion. But keeping knowledge from a main character that a reader already knows isn't inherently a trope that should be discouraged.
4712510
Seconded, although Georg’s recursive fanfiction is much better than mine.
Cool! I'll give you, like, a month or two before I start bugging you about The Spirit of a Pegasus.
Seriously, though, thanks. I'm always glad when I manage to write something you enjoy. Also, I don't like the time displacement ending either. Someday I'll need to come clean about what happened there.
Fuck yeah that story's highly recommended. >:V You know it.
4712628
Bah, why wait? That would just mean two of us were procrastinating.
Now I want to hear about this DARK AND DREAD SECRET. Color me curious, at least.
4712801
Well, I do like to leave you time to review other authors.
And by other authors, I mean Estee. Judging by your reviews, I'm pretty sure Estee must write three stories a day or something.
Eh, it's more that so many people have said such nice things about the story that I hate admitting that the amnesia thing was totally me covering for where I screwed up in plotting the time travel and noticed it two-thirds of the way through, when it was already being published to make the contest deadline, and needed an ending I could spin as happy-ish. I prefer to let people think that I'm competent.
Yeah, Lost Time earned that Highly Recommended, for sure. An outstanding tale...
4712817
...or a happy little accident, then?
Either way, I love it, and it’s one of few fics in these waning years that I’ve found truly memorable.
4712817
Nah. I just got carried away at some point and read everything they wrote in their main verse. This makes it much easier for me to keep up on their stuff. When I get behind is when I start to procrastinate.
They do write a lot, though. I should try and write more. Maybe tommorrow I'll devote some serious time to trying to get something at least close to done.
What was your original plan, if you don't mind my asking? Planning for a stable time loop?
4712526
It is not a general rule that the audience knowing something that a character does not creates issues; sometimes, it is actually vital (as in the case of comedy, as you noted).
The issue in this story in particular, however, is that it is about Scootaloo having an unfolding understanding of Rarity as a person, and Scootaloo undergoing character development as a result.
Discovery is one of those things that is strongest when the audience experiences the discovery alongside the characters; it is not strictly necessary, but the impact is generally greater when the character is learning alongside the audience. If you are trying to evoke some other emotion from the audience, the audience knowing and the character not can work just fine, as the primary goal is something else. But this story was trying to evoke the feeling of discovery (particularly, growing understanding) in Scootaloo, which would be reinforced by the audience learning alongside Scootaloo. The fact that the audience is not growing alongside Scootaloo weakens the sense of discovery the story is meant to evoke.
Other audience reactions generally are less affected by outside information, and may in fact rely on it (500 Million But Not a Single One More being a good example of such). But discovery is a tricky one because if the audience already knows, the character's discovery will tend to resonate a lot less because the discovery for them is not the discovery for the audience.
4712876
Yeah, sort of. It was for present Dash and Future Dash to switch consciousnesses for a week. But then I realized that even Dash at the end of the fic would never put AJ through that if she could somehow warn her, let alone future Dash, and that while I could easily show the readers what happened, I had no non-asspull way for present Dash to know that future Dash’s conscious would return in the future, and in that case she wouldn't abandon AJ and the kids. So I had to scrap that. In light of that, I'm happy with the amnesia since it wasn't a total deus ex machina and it fits the tone of the fic, but several people have notice that it doesn't really feel like where the story was going, and I agree.
4712978
That's exactly where I thought it was going, given the behavioral change on the first date. Kind of figured.
Of course, that's a classic time travel paradox in stable time loops - if you can't change the times you've traveled to, then you are stuck with whatever you're stuck with. Anne McCaffery had characters deliberately avoid telling each other about the future because if you knew what was going to happen, you were stuck for it happening, because that was how it was. So by being told something, it would have to come out that way in the future, meaning you might have to go through some effort you knew was futile for nothing, or can't prevent some thing that you now know is going to happen, because it already did. Of course, it was never really clear if that was effective or not, because, of course, they only saw it come out one way.
This is why all competent wizards hate time loops.