Exhausted · 11:11am Oct 25th, 2017
Today has been a mentally exhausting day. Like, really exhausting. 
I get that people have their own opinions, but don't God damn tell me how to live my life. I don't like arguing. That's why I'm usually so quiet because my point of view on things is not only different from the mass but also very important to me. It's also really hard for me to be strict and say "no" when needed. What do you think is the limit people should say no before others get it that you don't want to do something? Once? Two or three times? I had to say no almost ten times today. I don't know how I was able to do that without giving up. And nobody is ever taking my side. If anything, people team up against me and joke around.
It's not easy. It's been like that throughout my whole life. No never means no, it's just a f**king long eventually unavoidable yes. Do I really have to hit my punch on the table and shout NO so loud that nobody will dare to breathe, let alone move for the next five minutes? Is that what people want from me? Because if you drive the dog in the corner and poke it with a stick, I assure you, it will bite. But I don't want to bite anybody. I'm a good dog.
What is the point of saying no if nobody will ever take it seriously? And then people ask me why I'm so shy...
The story of my life.
