Present Perfect vs. My Little Pony: The Movie · 8:39pm Oct 8th, 2017
While I can't fault Cloris Leachman's performance, the witches were kind of 'eh' as villains go. The Smooze song is so goofy, I love it, it's to die for, but then the Flutterponies come in outta nowhere, and…
What's that? You say there's a new My Little Pony movie?
What's that? You say this joke doesn't work because I've posted like three blogs about the movie already? Well screw you, Mr. Comedy Police, that's what I say. :V
So after a second watch with a larger group of friends, I have to say I like the movie a smidgen more. The comics definitely gave me a larger appreciation for a few things, but only a few.
So what Imma do is open up a transcript, go blow-by-blow through it, and if I can't remember what was happening onscreen at any given moment, it's not worth commenting on.
Spoilers, of course, from here on out. This'll be long. (7k words long, to be precise...)
Two whole minutes of logos! *ding*
That aside, this movie gets off to a really bad start with a ponified version of "We Got the Beat". What were they thinking? The target audience doesn't know that song! Hell, there's a lot of people who lived through the 80's and don't remember the Go-Go's! You've got a movie with contemporary pop stars in it. They didn't call up Madonna, or Belinda Goddamn Carlysle, or even fucking Britney Spears, and yet they start everything off with a song from three decades ago. Why? I don't even think they have crossover with the "played it on Rock Band" crowd. It's so cringey, I hate it, and it screams to me "we do not know what the hell we're doing". So in that regard, it kind of sets the tone. :|
The transition from "There's nothing she can't handle" to "I can't handle this" is another of those obvious jokes that's still kind of funny. I guess less funny in this case than in Marks and Recreation because Twilight freaking out about things is kind of old hat now. :B
I'm not sure the reference was really necessary, but Spike saying "Whatchu talkin' 'bout" is one of those things you don't know you needed until happens.
Twilight freaking out over asking the other princesses for a favor feels like a season four thing, though. All the princess angst (or prangst) in this movie helps keep it as dated as the song choices and pop culture references do!
The smile is amazing. "You're a princess, too" just makes me think of all those jokes about the talking Princess Celestia toy.
"Mane event", Twilight? Goddammit.
Spike falling off the chalkboard and Twilight lamely trying to cover him with her wings is a great moment. Especially since he doesn't particularly get hurt.
That snort, though. c.c I would die for that snort.
Why do they all light their horns there? And what's with all this talk of magic? They're obviously trying to make things easier for newcomers, but fuck's sake, guys.
Speaking of which, now it's time for the "introduce each character via their one most extrinsic characteristic" scene! This is what, like the fourth or fifth time we've had to go through this? D: Can't we just let the dialogue in the rest of the movie characterize them?
>Rainbow Dash finally gets cider
That's how you know this ain't canon. :V
There is some serious Rarijack bait in this scene.
I'm glad Rainbow Dash has picked a different time period than ten seconds. That said, again, what's with all the Rainboom talk? I'm kind of over that being one of those Stare things; she can do it on command, she's done so a few times already, big deal. It's just really bad foreshadowing.
Okay, but Applejack's monologue about the barn is maybe the best moment she has ever had in the show, and that's kind of sad.
Again, having to mention Spike's crush on Rarity because that's really important to the plot and everyone would have forgotten it if you fuckers hadn't. :|
"If I failed at the festival, then who am I?" This is a really weird thing for Twilight to say. Like, why is this festival suddenly tied to her identity? Yes, it's basically her version of the Summer Sun Celebration, speaking princess-wise, but still. Just bad foreshadowing for unnecessary, shoehorned drama later.
And then that's followed up by more "we don't know how to write Pinkie Pie" season 4 garbage. It's almost saved with her "But you have us", but I've been wise to this shit for a while now. :| You can't fool me!
So, first song. "We Got This Together" is kind of your most average of pony songs. It's "Helping Twilight Win the Crown", it's "Best Friends Till the End of Time", it's "A True, True Friend". Daniel Ingram at his most cookie-cutter pop, spewing platitudes. I don't care that it sets up a theme for the movie, it's still very expected. Not to mention it's just more "here's what the mane six do, in case you missed it". Ugh.
Some decent TwiDash in here, though.
Fucking shit, Spike, you are such a glutton.
Oh yeah, with Twilight's part, now it's also "I Wasn't Prepared for This" and like… "You'll Play Your Part", too. <.<
Nice seeing Moondancer, Minuette and Twinkleshine on that bridge, though. I'm not currently watching the film, as I said, so I'm less likely to comment on visuals, but fuck's sake is Canterlot gorgeous in this movie, and all the crowd shots with actual ponies in them are fantastic.
I never thought I'd see that pedal-mixer again.
And when Pinkie puts on the goggles, she looks super adorable. :D
I'm glad what's-his-name from Canterlot Boutique gets a cameo in Rarity's shot there. Like, nowhere else, but they really did pack everypony into the first act.
Ah yes, and here begins one of the worst parts of this film: product placement. I'm sure it's all meant as referential jokes to other Hasbro toys, and "easy bake confetti cake cannon" is pretty easy to miss, but I'm onto them. :|
I definitely want to comment on the new celebrity-voiced characters. So, Songbird Serenade. I was really angry when she was announced, but here we were, yet another big pop star for Equestria who's not Sapphire Shores. :| Sapphire Shores is the pony of pop! You don't get a nickname like that by being number two! And yet Countess freakin' Coloratura comes along and steals her spotlight. And now here we are…
Except, well, no. My fears about Songbird did not pan out. She's not the biggest pop star in Equestria, just a pop star, so all my concerns melted away. Granted, she's got zero personality and I wish she'd stick with an accent (American? Australian? Rihanna? <.<), but she's cute as fuck, that rapid-fire posing gag was funny, and she's super nice, which was not what I was expecting. No diva at all, here. So she's a fine addition.
I like how they pause the whole movie to do this Pulp Fiction joke. Like, wow, way to be topical there, guys, I'm sure the target audience just love the fuck out of Quentin Tarantino.
It's really a shame that it sounds like Pinkie is saying "I bet those are the clouds I ordered", because it doesn't make any sense and leaves you in a strange state of confusion until it's clarified with the next line and OH NO I JUST GOT AN IDEA FOR A FIC D:
Man, remember when you saw, "Brian, no!" in the trailer and that was just the funniest shit? And now the joke has no effect on me because I saw it too many times. :B
That fucking Transformers joke, though. >.< They really can't avoid doing that, can they?
Ooh, he said evil twice. That's how you know the Storm King is really evil!
There's something offputting about them not realizing this is a unicorn with a broken horn. Like, does that just not happen? Is it like cutie marks, where they can't identify a pony without it?
Why is she never called Tempest Shadow in the movie? It's yet another piece of information that only shows up in the credits. It always makes her feel abbreviated somehow, and that's not a dig at her horn.
I appreciate that Tempest says "please". She may be the evil commander of evilness, but that doesn't mean she can't have manners.
So let me give some props to Emily Blunt here. (I'll be talking about Tempest throughout the review, so she doesn't need her own section.) She's the voice of Sassy Saddles, which I didn't know until after that second viewing, when my extended friends told me. Sassy Saddles is her real voice. EDIT: MY FRIEND IS APPARENTLY FULL OF SHIT Now, I think she was miscast as Tempest: she just doesn't ever sound intimidating or evil. But she kept that accent up perfectly throughout the entire film. Sia could learn a thing or two from her. <.<
And yeah, Tempest kicking those crystal grenades into the princesses is the coolest badass shit :D
Man, can we all just hold a moment of silence for Derpy Hooves, the true hero of this film? Seriously, if she hadn't sacrificed herself (somehow; that's definitely Dash who actually gets Twilight out of the way), none of the plot would have been able to happen. This is truly her finest hour.
I'm also glad Tempest is not fooled for an instant. That Grubber is should be your first clue that he's worthless.
Okay, I'm glad I'm reading this transcript, because I was never certain Rarity was actually saying "I think my bottom's on backwards". Like, just, that's the goofiest fucking thing she has ever said, I can't believe my ears. XD
Ah yes, then we get the Hungry, Hungry Hippos joke. >.< A candidate for the lowest point in the movie, but I'm sure we can go lower.
Again, why are we getting this "Twilight thinks she has to go it alone" moment. She and her friends have been on tons of adventures, and she doesn't even think at least some of them might want to join her?
It's nice to know that after five seasons, they've finally figured out how to play I Spy right.
The ringtone joke makes me die inside. The Storm King not knowing how to work the spell right makes up for it.
Yeah, so, the Storm King. The comics paint him as more obviously competent, but you'd be forgiven for thinking he's an idiot. He's a cut-rate Discord in personality, and when it comes to what he does, he's a cut-rate Tirek crossed with… well, actually, a better King Sombra, if we're being honest. Sombra never enslaved Canterlot, is what I'm saying. <.< But he's this weird amalgam of all the other villains they've ever faced, and he's just kind of a non-entity. I maintain this film would have been much better if they'd taken him out and let it be Tempest's story. Like, just have him be this nebulous force she thinks she's working for the betterment of, or like my one friend suggested, have her need the four Princesses' magic to summon him into the world. But don't show him, or else don't make him the major villain. Because he's really not good at it.
Sponge cake is not one word, no matter what the transcript says.
Okay, so, let's take a time out to figure out the timeline here. Answer: we can't. Ideally, when Tempest says it's going to take three days for the Storm King to get there, he gets there in three days. It takes the mane six a day to get down to the Badlands and a day to get back to Equestria, leaving them a day to fuck around with Klugetown and the hippogriffs. But in reality, everything that happens takes place in the same day, and suddenly I can't remember why that is let's just leave it for later
I am very glad they find a bird skull and not a cat skull, because that would be fucking morbid if you've read the comics.
Pinkie's fart noise is great.
So rewatch that scene where Spike collapses on the road and tell me they're not parodying the .MOV series. Look at the eyelids, man! That's got Max Gilardi written all over it!
I really, really wish the Klugetown sign from the comics was here. It says, among other things, "no changelings". :D
Okay, so the guy asking Twilight if she'll sell her horn is maybe the darkest moment in G4, ever. c.c
Part of me has to wonder why Fluttershy didn't ask the birds what was going on. Like, can she please have some use in this movie?
The way Pinkie says "Queen of the Hippos" here gives me life.
If I'm not mistaken, the thing that calls Spike a gecko is a lizard person. XD
I am amused that someone legit wants the pic of Maud.
And of course, Spike dislikes the being for whom Rarity is showing the least bit of favoritism toward. Watch in awe as this continues to cause conflict for the rest of the--no, haha, it's not important at all, just like reminding us of his crush at the start of the movie! This could totally have been taken out for some bird-talking, is what I'm saying.
So I'll say this for Capper: Taye Diggs did a fantastic job as his voice. I have no idea who he is, his IMDB provides not a single thing I have ever seen, but he was great as the voice, and he sang the song well. The song's okay; it oddly feels like it's been transplanted from a Disney movie, it just doesn't fit the style somehow. Maybe it was an homage? (My friend kept making Princess and the Frog jokes.) As for Capper himself, he's the main thing I had more appreciation for after reading the comics. Like, knowing that his friend abandoned him here in Klugetown, hearing him sing about being the friend the ponies need is kind of heartbreaking. Plus, you know he's up to no good; it's not hard to figure that out from context, but until he gives the money to the thing and talks about clearing up his debts, you can't be sure. Unless you know his backstory.
I would like to point out that ponies have a Bohemia. (They've got an Abyssinia now, so why not, I guess?)
I would also like to point out that when Capper talks about his litter box, he is actually saying that he left turds out somewhere. Because the Abyssinians sleep in cardboard boxes in the comic, and not just because cats like boxes. They're very real-world-cat-like, is what I'm getting at. Fun!
Again, Pinkie steals the scene with "so many fun breakables"! Like, she's just made it to this guy's house, and her first thought is, "How many things can I break in here?"
>the Wizard of Oz joke though 
I would like to think that Tempest pulls this badass flip against this fish guy not because he was getting in her face, but because he insinuated she has friends. Like, seriously, that's what she takes offense to, not his tone.
Seriously, what is Dash's major malfunction?
I do like that Rarity is able to sway his heart with a simple kind gesture and some buttons. Like, I really wish they'd been able to do a full "each mane cast member makes friends with a new character using their inherent gifts", but fuck Applejack and Fluttershy, I guess.
"Objects in the windows may be less mountainous than they appear" is one of the best jokes in the movie.
Verko's another thing that needs explanation from the comics. Knowing that he's the Klugetown crime boss, and not just another weird animal creature that's interested in selling ponies and/or parts thereof makes him considerably more of a threat.
Okay, I said Emily Blunt isn't intimidating, but "Silly little ponies" sends shivers up my spine.
I'll say this for Verko: I'm glad he squished Tempest's cheeks like that. I needed it.
HOW DID ROPE?
Pinkie's squeak on the deck is great. Seriously, she's like, half of this movie, beside Twilight. It's kind of amazing how they managed to do that and not make her feel overbearing. (Minus that one scene at the start.)
I like that Rarity is more concerned about the presence of rats than the presence of creatures who might very well eat them.
The "air-boat" line is almost funny, Grubber. Nice try. Please stop trying.
I just have to shake my head at the "We scar 'em… emotionally!" line. I get why that's there, and it's funny that Fluttershy is more afraid of emotional scarring than physical, but still.
The lunch break is the daftest thing ever. Though it does give Twilight a great reason to make amazing faces at Rainbow Dash.
Am I the only one who takes some umbrage at Dash just assuming she can call them "birds"? Like, maybe they're some kind of other species for whom 'bird' is an insult! Except, no, they're just birds. :/ That's on the designers, though.
I would like to point out that ponies, as perissodactyls, are racist against artiodactyls. :V
Another good song joke. :D And "Time to Be Awesome" is the first song that I really like. Yes, it's just Rainbow Dash saves Jenkins from the bees, the song (not to mention her second movie song about awesomeness), but it's hard not to love the wordplay they go through to get rhymes for 'awesome'.
So let's talk Captain Celaeno. Out of all the celebrity-voiced new characters, she was the one I was most interested in, coming into the movie. And when we first meet her, well, she's hardly impressive. But then you get that scene where she puts her captain's hat on again for the first time, and I got a real thrill. She's smart, she's fearless, she's cool — that shot where she strides out onto the bowsprit is no less thrilling — and… she's just not a thing. :/ Half her character is locked up in the comics, and the whole purpose of her and her crew is to be, shall we say, a "positive obstacle", a plot device to mitigate the various negative obstacles standing in the ponies' way. She disappears for an entire act of the movie after this point, and she just never makes much of a splash after that. :/ I think she deserved better.
Oh, and I'll note that the pirate who only talks in bird sounds, the one who puts the life preserver on? That's Murdock. And I found him genuinely amusing, which surprised me.
Pinkie cheering for the Rainboom is great. Rainbow finally getting to do it is… it's like she's had this crazy valve all movie, and she's finally gotten to release it. What is her damage, I ask you? XD
Seriously, I love that Celaeno checks the manifest for princesses, that's as ballsy as it is sassy.
So I'm obviously in the scene with the Storm King merchandise, and I had a terrible thought: What if the Storm King with all his "trending" and "rebranding" and merchandise is meant as a stand-in for Hasbro and DHX's corporate overlords? c.c That would make this movie considerably funnier. Mull it over, this is a very new idea.
Okay, now we get to the falling scene, and I want to call out the animators for needlessly showing off here. That shot of Pinkie's face panning to the foreground, that we've seen in all the trailers, for instance. And it's like… Okay, Pinkie turns a scream into fun, Rarity looks at herself in a mirror, whatever. Twilight grabbing Dash in her magic is hilarious, because Dash has never been less dignified. But what was Twilight's plan? In the ship, she says "I've got this" and Macguyvers a bunch of stuff together. But then they jettison themselves and just start falling, and it's not until they've fallen for rather a while that Twilight goes…
Wait, I thought she said "I have a plan" while they're in the air. <.< Which would be incredibly stupid, mind, and make me wonder what her original plan was. But that does not seem to be a part of the transcript, and now I'm feeling gaslighted. D: Well, I feel dumb.
It's weird how we get this shot of the Storm King's face on the balloon as they sail off into the distance. I dunno what the point of that is.
Why didn't Capper try to play things off like he didn't know where they were going? He probably would have gotten zapped by Tempest anyway, she's no dummy, but he could've at least tried to take the heat off himself there. That's the sort of person he is, after all.
Also, I didn't realize it until the second viewing, of course, but this is Tempest showing us what she can do. She lets off her fireworks on the boat and sinks it, and that's foreshadowing for her ultimate redemption.
For once, I have no idea why Rarity is being dramatic, here.
The hippogriff city would have been a good place for AJ or Fluttershy to do their thing, instead of them just happening to be there while Princess Skystar is taking a bath and being extremely loud.
Pinkie blowing bubbles gives me life. :D
Rarity's "I hate epic adventures" line was great.
Talk about dark, they almost fucking die right here. And as Twilight passes out, she's got this small smile on her face, as though welcoming at last the sweet embrace of death. c.c
It's unfortunate that, as gorgeous as the underwater scenes are — definitely the visual highlight of the film, and a worthwhile thing to show off — we open up with a panning shot in which Skystar doesn't scale quite properly. It's maybe the worst animation error in the whole film; there are only a handful, but they stand out.
How does sassy black lady Queen Novo have a daughter who sounds like a skinny white girl? <.<
Is anyone else surprised that we never saw that hippogriff they made into a toy? I don't remember what his name is, but it looked like he was going to be at least a named character in the movie, and I don't know that he ever showed up. It's so weird.
How many times has Applejack said "Hold on now, lemme get this straight?" I swear that was dialogue reuse.
So I had the thought after seeing the movie the first time that all I wanted was seaponies, and I actually never got them. The seaponies are never called such — I was waiting for someone to go, "Not the Queen of the Hippos, the Queen of the Hippocampi!" — and they were never actually seaponies to begin with. Not to mention the designs are weirdly elongated, for all that they're better than the originals.
Look, I'm really into mermaids, okay? It's a thing for me. That's the only reason I can explain why seaponies are so important to me. The idea of the G1 seaponies was neat, but they were fucking ugly as sin, I can't stand them. So I've always wanted to have actual hippocampus-style merponies, with front hooves and dolphiny tails. And the fin-hooves of Novo and Skystar were fine, honestly.
But then I realized: I had no reason to be disappointed at all! I GOT SEAPONY MANE SIX, and they were exactly what I wanted! The fins are more beta fish than anything, which is cool. I like the way their manes change, and I like those shiny cutie-mark dorsal fins, too. It didn't last very long, and it means that there are officially no actual seaponies in Equestria, but by golly, I got my merponies, and I'm happy. :)
Anyway, Princess Skystar. I did not like her at first. In fact, I did not like her until she brought out "Shelly and Sheldon", and suddenly it clicked: she's insane. She's been living underwater with her entire species for who knows how long, unable to go flying like a hippogriff would likely want, unable to make new friends beyond the other seaponies she lives with. She is stir fucking crazy. And that's just fine. It helps that this is more or less the exact same mental path I went along when I saw Pinkie for the first time, going from "she's annoying" to "she's fun". (Also helps that she ships readily with Pinkie. :V) Even her hippogriff form looks a lot better in the movie than it did in the preview shots. If there's any character I hope they transplant to the show… Well, okay, she's second next to Tempest, but she's the only other one.
As for Queen Novo, she was fun, and I'm upset you can only get her toy by purchasing the stupidly expensive underwater playset. D: I like her color scheme better.
Okay, but why Novo? "Skystar" is a pretty solid "standard fantasy princess" name, but Novo just means "new". I don't get what's going on there.
Hell, on that note, can we talk about how Novo is only the second queen we've ever had in MLPFiM, and the first who was actually good? A hardass, to be sure, but 'evil' doesn't even begin to touch her. It's a surprising change from the "princesses are good, queens are evil" standard of storytelling for little girls.
I kind of hate that, as they're being transformed, everyone reacts with their basest character trait. :| "That coral" indeed, Rainbow Dash.
Spike having zero dignity here is great. We already could expect this from what happened in EQG, but still. XD
"One Small Thing" is an alright song, but more than "I'm the Friend You Need", sounds like a Disney expy. I mean, the whole sequence looks to have been studiously referenced from The Little Mermaid, so there's that.
Oh yes, and can we just remember for a moment that Pinkie said "everyfish"? Okay.
The tiny jellyfish gives me life.
BAD AND NAUGHTY FISH GO IN THE PUNISHMENT JELLY TWILIGHT
Yeah, so, uh, did Queen Novo almost kill them? <.< Is that just me?
Now, here comes what's perhaps the most important scene in the whole movie. Twilight trying to steal a magical artifact and yelling at her friends: out of character? Let's break it down a bit.
When they end up on the pirates' ship, Twilight warns that the last time they tried to make friends, they nearly got sold. The encounter with Capper in Klugetown has ruined her. It's destroyed her trust, stomped her naivete, and made her realize that life outside Equestria is considerably harder than any of them really accounted for. Her friends, it seems, don't share this opinion, being quicker to trust.
Then, they make friends with the pirates. That goes great, sure. Until the Sonic Rainboom. Rainbow Dash was just itching to do one, she finally gets it out of her system, Pinkie, at the very least, is cheering her on. This nearly gets them captured. So she's got a reason to be angry at her friends.
So when they get to the place they were trying to go, to seek the help they need, and suddenly that help is being withheld for no reason other than "we don't wanna", Twilight breaks. She can use her friends as a distraction while she tries to get this power that they need to save Equestria. They don't need the hippogriffs' help, they can do this on their own!
Now, of course, there's a scene missing here. We can't know everything that was going on in her head. But seeing that pearl, just within her grasp, and having it withheld by words alone, Twilight's going to take to heart the lesson she's learned: life outside Equestria is hard. You do what you have to, to save those you care about. So she tries and fails to steal it. (I'd like to think the alarm didn't go off until the end of the entire song montage because she spent all that time trying to figure out the optimal way to approach the guardian jellyfish.)
Then she yells at her friends. She's frustrated, she's taken on all this responsibility and failed, and all this time, what do her friends do? Laugh and crack jokes and sing songs and do stupid shit that almost gets them caught. She's pissed. And so she says about the most thoughtless, cruel thing she possibly could to poor Pinkie Pie, who is not the most deserving of reproach among their friends.
Yeah, I'm not sure she would ever say anything like that. But she's got reason to. It's needless drama, but it's backed up by the plot to that point.
The thing that gets me is that only once before have we seen Twilight's friends turn their backs on her: during the wedding. And that hurt just as much to watch. The only difference is that now, Twilight is in the wrong. Pinkie's right, they were gonna get the Queen to agree to help them, because they were using the power of friendship, and Twilight fucked it up.
It's telling, I think, that in the time it takes for Spike to catch up to them, Applejack's already saying they should talk it out. Like, Pinkie was hurt, and they're all probably a little shocked that Twilight, of all ponies, would say she would be better off without friends like them, but they're quick to forgive. They're good little ponies. :C
Okay, but Spike sets that dude's arm on fire. No wonder this is rated PG, that's fucking violent, compared to what we've gotten from the show. :O
Ah, and now we come to it: the best scene in the movie. The best song, the best moment, the entire reason this otherwise mediocre movie is worth watching. "Open Up Your Eyes". Ingram's gotten into something of a pattern with his music lately, and this is no different, slotting into the pack of villain songs from "This Day Aria" to "Say Goodbye to the Holiday"... But all of those songs fucking rock. And this one is no different. I accused Emily Blunt of being miscast earlier, but fuck my eyes, she can sing.
The thing that really gets me about this song, aside from just how good it is, is the perspective. I've seen songs like this before, where it's all "you've been lied to, but I know the truth", trying to tempt and corrupt the hero. But in all those cases, the message is usually, well, what I just said. But in this case, Tempest is saying, "I know the truth, and if you see the world from my perspective, you'll understand it, too." This isn't just a villain song, it's almost a plea for sympathy. And that makes it truly remarkable, I think.
And yeah, we get Tempest's backstory and it's, eh, marginally better than Starlight's? As someone asked in another blog, where are the adults and doctors who might take care of her? I suppose, to a kid who's been hurt that badly, all that's really important is losing your friends. I do appreciate the reemergence of pointy ponies, and the Ursa Minor was a nice touch.
"I failed friendship" is one of the hardest lines. D:
"Well look what the cat dragged in! Himself!" is one of the best. XD
I do like AJ being all "he's talking about us, y'all" and they all get disappointed. :D And Spike being all "we seriously have no more friends than this?"
Songbird's "caged songbird" act is a really nice touch. It actually makes me think of similar scenes I've seen in other movies, except all I can think of is Robin Hood. <.< But I agree with the person who pointed it out: Twilight being dragged through the streets in a cage should have been a major morale blow to all of Canterlot. But all she does is lock eyes… err, look at the hair on Songbird's head, and Songbird doesn't really show any reaction, so the moment passes without any real import.
So, now comes a moment I would really like to highlight: Grubber's finest hour. You wouldn't think he has one. I mean, his whole purpose in the movie is to discover the cake is full of pirates and sound the alarm. If there's one idea that the entire fandom seems to have latched onto, it's that Grubber is the most pointless character in the history of anything. No one likes him.
But to take his side for a second, look at what happens here. Tempest says she wants to show everyone what she can do. The Storm King, newly arrived, overhears this. There's an edge to his voice that tells you he's suspicious; Tempest might be getting ideas of grandeur, and he hasn't gotten his magic yet. So he challenges her. And Grubber takes her side. He covers for her! This moment and earlier, when he's talking about her horn — for all that he's being extremely crass then — show that, while he serves the Storm King unquestioningly, he's loyal to her. She's the one he actually cares about, for, y'know, a total of like eight seconds of running time. They never do anything with it, of course, but it brings him down from 100% useless to like… 99.5% useless.
"Deliver the punchline, Tempest, this has got to be a joke!" is honestly a really great line. I just wish the Storm King was less of a yutz.
Him playing with the sun is actually funny, but again, we've seen another villain do this already…
Am I the only one who gets kind of uncomfortable watching Pinkie's cupcake barrage? Like, it's amusing that she seems to be getting a tad unhinged, there, but then she essentially executes this guy via pastries. He's even up against a wall! D: THIS IS A CUPCAKE FIRING SQUAD
Fluttershy making the Storm Guard cry is the best. :D It makes me wish that, like, AJ could have used her honesty powers to find their way through a maze of mirrors in the hippogriff city or something.
So I would like to point out that Spike breathes fire four times in this movie: in the balloon (which is hilarious), on the guard's arm, as the cake decoration, and now here, where Capper uses him as a living flamethrower. Spike has a body count now. They don't just have flames fall near the Guards, who then run for their lives because fire. He sets more than one of them on fire! And it's dark headcanon that says they die, but hey, I don't see many of them recovering from that. :V So despite the indignities heaped upon him in the underwater kingdom, let's all take a moment and appreciate that Spike finally got to be a badass.
I do sort of love the "Friendship and flowers and ponies" line.
>tfw Rainbow Dash can't break wind :V
I want to point out that the Storm King gets a much better line in the comics. While he's teasing us with his non-origin, he says, "I am the Storm King because I am a king who is a storm!" Why couldn't we have had more of that? D:
I like that the transcript points out that when Twilight saves Tempest, "Open Up Your Eyes" plays, I never noticed that.
Again, the Storm King crawling through the wreckage, shouting "The staff belongs to me!" is a really intimidating moment. I wish they could've stuck with a tone with him.
And then… Christ metaphor, anyone? Except all I can think of when I see that scene of Twilight returning with the staff is Monty Python and the Holy Grail, so. c.c
And then the Storm King fucking dies, but it's no worse than what happened to Sombra. So he doesn't even have that going for him. There's nothing original about him, other than his species, which I assume is related to the 'yetis' we've seen near Yakyakistan.
I would like to point out that the Staff is not a "do whatever" macguffin here. When the Storm King was draining the princesses' magic, there's a pan-out shot that's easy to forget, which shows him draining magic from all of Canterlot. So it makes sense the Staff can be used to restore broken masonry as easily as stoned ponies.
"Get ready for a little Songbird Serenade"? I don't get it.
So "Rainbow" is an okay song, but it definitely comes off as "pop song inserted into movie" rather than something written for it, even though I'm pretty sure that's the case. I will say, I love the idea of a pegasus performer flying out over the crowd, even if she's not wearing anything that can actually amplify her voice while doing so. :B
Skystar getting grounded is perfect.
No, Pinkie, that is the dumbest name ever. c.c They overdid it for the sake of comedy, there, though "Fizzlepop" by itself does actually fit her, considering her special talent seems to be fireworks. And on that note, I want to mention that, in her comic, they take special care to never show her cutie mark. Like, she's either in a cloak, in shadow, or something's covering it, usually her tail. In the movie, she's always wearing armor, and most of the time, it's got the Storm King's mark where her cutie mark would be. Bets on whether she's a blank flank?
I have no idea who Lukas Graham is, but "Off to See the World" is a great song, probably my second-favorite. :)
This is a weird thing to comment on, but I appreciate that the "show-style" credits are in alphabetical order. Firstly, it gives the show VAs equal billing with the celebrities. Second, it puts Uzo Aduba first, and I think that's great. :D Also, Spike broke the party. :V
So yeah, that's the movie. It's a mess. There's lots of potential there, but most of it was wasted to jam in as many toys and celebrities as they could. I'm considering writing up an outline for how I would fix it, but given how many fucking leaked episodes there are now, I may never get to it. :/ Final score, 2.5 outta 5, it's okay.
And now we know how the fans are going to draw them as humans.
For some reason, reading this blog made me like the movie more. It's still a pretty huge mess, but at least it had a few nice touches.
I also loved it when the Storm King couldn't figure out how to make the spell work. If the movie was full of funny gags and jokes like that instead of boring songs and cliche characters, it might have made up for its boring plot and gaping plot holes.
Everybody knows that song, you are wrong. Still a bad idea, though.
I'm glad you enjoyed parts of the movie, but as I've mentioned elsewhere, it wasn't something I found enjoyable. Spike actually lighting the Storm King's goons on fire was definitely unexpected, especially given the show's usual tone. At least there were some neat moments with Klugetown and the animation, so it's not all bad.
Speaking of the leaked episodes (which I loved for the most part), one of the things that confuses me about the movie is how the writers are going to slot its events into canon. While I know referring established canon needed to be at a minimum to not confuse newer audiences, there are enough plot holes stemming from canon (and there's still plenty of plot holes when canon is ignored) that make me wonder if the movie is better viewed as some kind of AU. It wouldn't exactly change my overall opinion about the movie, but it's something that is hard to ignore for me. Then again, that's just how I feel.
1. More Queen Novo
There, I did it for you. What can I say except...you're welcome!
Captain Celaeno was just one of many sources of potential that were utterly squandered for the sake of a totally by-the-numbers TV special masquerading as a big mainstream film. Yeah, sure, people and kids can enjoy it all they want, but I also "enjoyed" the Michael Bay Transformers films. That doesn't make them good movies; in fact they're forgettable piles of crap I can barely remember for all that I enjoyed them in the moment. I mean, kids probably enjoyed the Smurfs movies, but is anyone going to call them timeless? Did they revive interest in a Smurfs fandom? No, and I really don't see this movie bringing a second wave of bronies. For all it talks about magic, it simply has none. I'd almost rather they made this the start of Gen 5 or something.
I found Tempest's song bearable only without the visuals, because "I got mauled by a fucking bear so I want to destroy the world" is only marginally less stupid than "my friend went to a different school than I did so I want to destroy the world."
The weirdly dark moments in this movie really did catch me off guard. By that I don’t mean the slavery and stuff, but the undertones and implications.
1) Fluttershy shuns birds that have been enslaved against their will in Klugertown.
2) The pirates had no qualms about throwing people overboard because of orders. Girls, are you really allying with someone that is so carefree about murder?
3) Tempest and the Storm King likes to threaten people with dismemberment and neck snapping.
4) They nearly drown, twice.
5) After the villian song you see Canterlot from the airship, and a ton of smoke coming from a nearby town below (burning?)
6) Baby dragon burning people alive.
7) The staff repairs the city and dispels the stone magic at the end (restores Derpy). Meaning that the Storm King is also turned back from stone, so I don’t envy the janitor pony who has to clean up that mess.
There were probably more weirdly dark bits that I forgot about, and I don’t mind them per say, but they do feel out of place.
Actually, for a minute there, I genuinely thought you had rewatched and were going to re-review the original movie as a desperate act of denial.
Sorry for long comment, but I guess that's what happens when responding to something like this at a bunch of individual points. Choosing one to represent the rest, I'll say that I think you're right about a lot of the stuff around Twilight's outburst, but that's related to my major problem with the movie: I'm uninvested in it and easily distracted by surface annoyances because 1) a good chunk of the team doesn't act like they're taking Canterlot (Equestria?) being in chains seriously, hence things like the obviously inappropriate Rainboom and Pinkie cheering it on, and 2) I know Twilight's, RD's, etc. abilities (and personalities when confronted/challenged, or in Fluttershy's case, when someone bullies her friends), and they never bother to try to use them, so again why should I take the plot seriously? Throwing dark stuff on the screen isn't a sufficient alternative to showing the antagonists are actually more than they can handle if they try.
It's not the only thing. Before hearing it was supposed to take place after S7 and that apparently Starlight is in it somewhere, I thought S4 made the most sense, and I'm considering trying to narrow down to exactly when this thing should have happened.
It also highlights that maybe she should have done one at some point when it would make a positive difference, like either the beginning or end of the movie.
And that's her for like half the movie or more.
This felt unnecessary and forced to me, since he normally doesn't do that kind of thing while on the clock for things Twilight really cares about. Better if it's before the sleeping through the summit episode, worse if it's after.
And did they even try to match voices? I didn't think the one guy sounded much like Sam Jackson at all.
I think it's to set up the fact that most of what they do until Pinkie's big scene nets out, in fact, to being very detrimental to the mission, and her being prepared to notice that.
You are right about Storm King not being good for the role.
I'd like to argue that everything took place in one day no problem at all... because there's nobody to move (/actually moving) the sun and moon! :V Maybe. I don't remember if it looked like that was a possibility, given they mostly should have been moving north/south rather than east/west.
No, Fluttershy cannot have a use in this movie. Get back in your corner.
Capper's voice really was great. And I think I liked his song a lot more than you, so another point in his favor.
So I get why you'd want AJ and Fluttershy to make friends too, but the thing is there's only really room for making one friend--that's plot relevant as an important decision maker--in each location. Either they'd need to add more new characters who matter, or you'd end up with something nice but basically redundant. At least FS got that one soldier at the end?
Really? I found Pinkie overbearing most of the movie. <.<
Rarity was consistently good though. :D
You're right about Grubber, and if it hadn't been for the combination of the Storm King, Princess Skystar, and (especially) him, I might have found Pinkie more reasonable.
Regarding the lunch break, I really wish there'd been, I kind of wish there'd been a line like "Hey, working for the Storm King ain't the best, but at least we've got a good union."
RD's song was just about the high point of the movie for me.
Something I noticed, not just with the Captain, but the others they picked up as well, was that (maaayybe Capper excepted) they didn't actually contribute that much at the end. The encouragement to go back to Canterlot and everything, yeah, but it's hard to see them as really needed after that point--and if their contributions were important then, why couldn't the Royal Guard, Wonderbolts, RD, ... have done anything at the start of the movie?
Well, there are no seaponies officially in Equestria... they could still exist! :V I'll admit I still feel cheated there, and seapony Mane Six didn't wholly make up for that.
Kind of like what I said with the Storm King et al affecting my take on Pinkie here, if Grubber and the Storm King weren't there, I might have been more open to reading and appreciating Skystar that way. But as-is, even if there's a good reason for it, there are just too many annoying characters.
Queen Novo was pretty great though. The movie needed someone who had no time for this shit. :V
I hated the Spike puffer fish thing. I don't even really get it, since it seemed like ponies and hippogriffs basically turned into the same thing, so why shouldn't he be closer? And it's even worse than the dog, since he doesn't even get anything resembling usable appendages. This was one of many reasons "Zeppelin" was so great for me as a follow-up: it got him right the entire time he was onscreen rather than shitting on the only one of the team who both 1) contributes and 2) never fucks the mission up.
With you on the whole Twilight thing (though Pinkie is a pretty close second, especially remembering Kludgetown as well as the pirates). Though I also think that it would have been better to have at least a bit more from her friends before turning their backs on her--maybe some recognition or remorse from RD, some hesitation from Fluttershy before choosing Pinkie, some respect from Applejack over her letting out a hard truth she'd been bottling up (and which we could see for a while). And hey, maybe I could have done without any of that if they'd acknowledged how badly they'd fucked up before, as it was happening or at the city of the Hippogriffs or something. But then they'd probably have talked it out then, or they'd have seen how Twilight's outlook was changing or something, so the way things played out would be harder to justify. And I just don't like how things depend on the others being understated dicks to Twilight (note that saying something mean but correct based on what she knew at the time is presented as worse than goofing off in a way that predictably is going to have potential severe effects for ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY BACK HOME WHO ARE IN CHAINS WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM RAINBOW AND WHY ARE YOU ENCOURAGING HER PINKIE AND WHY IS TWILIGHT THE ONLY ONE EVEN MILDLY PUSHING FOR SANITY--and that's a big part of the problem for me: not only does the plot rely on not using abilities/doing things that they should, but most of the team doesn't even act like this is a big important thing that they need to take seriously, so why should I?).
Also, what exactly was she going to do with the pearl? Was that ever explained? I may have missed it--I thought the idea was just to transform the hippogriffs back and then they show up and help fight or whatever, you know, picking up an army.
To me it was like the 4th best song, maybe I'll need to watch it again in isolation. But yeah, Starlight rehash, and the thing about the doctors and stuff is that if they fix her horn, then the problem with the friends gets fixed too. So she needs to book it before there's time for that, which basically requires her to have left after literally that one time. Or there just aren't adults and doctors. Also did losing her horn even affect her magic much? Did it really stick? It's implied later that her magic is as strong as the staff powered up by four princesses, at least for the purposes of magic laser beams, which is the only way we use magic in action scenes anymore, so... what's the deal?
I might have appreciated the Spike flamethrower thing more if it hadn't been done with the Twilight gatling gun in "Canterlot Wedding." Also that worked better because it was with Pinkie, so more comedically justified; here, why isn't he just doing it himself? And be fully his own badass?
One of the things I didn't get about the staff was why it needed four alicorns. Unless it was just made, shouldn't it just need the two or three that existed at the time, or even just the one that wasn't trapped on the moon? Or every alicorn in existence, thus also Flurry Heart? Or if it is just four, why not try to get Flurry Heart instead of Twilight?
Yes, Skystar getting grounded was perfect.
Yes, it is the dumbest name ever, and I was disappointed when it didn't stop after Fizzlepop.
There were a lot of issues I had with the movie, but I'm willing to forgive the vast majority.
If I could make them change anything, it would be to get rid of the pirates. Not that I didn't like them in general, they just struck me as the low point in terms of added characters. We could have done without them entirely and used the extra time to add more depth to Capper and the Storm King. I expected to hate Capper, but he ended up being the highlight of the new characters to me, barring the Storm King himself, who deserved a lot more screen time.
Also, what's the big deal with Songbird Serenade? The mare did nothing, yet the trailers treated her like she was going to be something special. Heck, even Twilight seemed to look upon her as if she were someone who could cast judgement upon the Princess of Friendship. She's a singer, and as we've already established, Countess Coloratura is considered the best singer in Equestria, and Twilight sure didn't act all timid around her.
So yeah, I don't get this chick and the attention she's got all the time.
Yes, We Got The Beat is before the target audience's time, and also before the brony audience's time. Though those of us old enough to have played We Got the Beat on the jukebox at the pizza parlor appreciate it.
What you're forgetting is there's a very important part of the audience for whom this song is familiar, the parents stuck escorting their 4-10 year old girls to the movie. They're the ones who paid for the tickets. Give them a reason to smile at the beginning of the movie, and it will hopefully color their impression of the whole movie.
4691575
I think it's AU for the moment. I've seen a post on EQD stating from the director or someone that it takes place after S7.
4691605
My work here is done.
4691616
I want to live in a world where the Transformers movies were enjoyable. <.< I could feel my soul dying more with each one I watched.
Is this not what I said? c.c
4691661
Funny thing is, I watched the original movie so long ago, I never blogged about it. :B
4691667
No, and I think that's because the bodyguards were visually Pulp Fiction, but what they were saying was a completely unrelated gag. Way to waste a good pop culture reference there, guys. :B
Haha, I totally forgot to address the Royal Guard thing, but I could definitely see them being overwhelmed easily by the Storm Guards. If, y'know, they had actually existed. :B
And it's not like Twilight needs to be sad at the point she gets captured. Tempest could have easily taken her down, either with five more Guards to grab her friends, or just by being too badass for them to handle. Her song doesn't change Twilight's mind or anything, so what's the point?
...Holy shit, but what if it had? I gotta write this down. c.c
She wanted to transform the ponies into something that could fight back better. Assuming, y'know, it wasn't just "sea version and back".
Like seriously, she gets the pearl back to Equestria, zaps all the slaves, and now they're all just flopping on the ground. "Oops."
I get the sense that her magic isn't really under her control. Like, the dancing fireworks just kind of zip around in the sky, not like they're directed attacks or anything. And it seems to react to her moods more than anything. Not to mention, sometimes she just gets sparks. I'm probably headcanoning this too hard.
4691695
I've pegged Capper as the extraneous character, but honestly, the pirates didn't do much to justify their existence, so I might have to go with you there.
I find myself agreeing with you for the most part on the movie. I had low expectations to begin with and just sat back and had fun watching.
4691722
That's why I'm confused about the movie's place in canon, because there were more than a few instances where retcons would be necessary in order for the movie's plot to make sense. These would involve ignoring some character development, notable events such as the changelings becoming close allies, and more. At least that's how I saw things, though I understand if you or anyone else disagrees. However, I do have a few more words about the rest of your comment:
As for the lack of any Royal Guards, it's no wonder that Canterlot fell so quickly, even if you ignore their poor record. Aside from the Mane 6, the only ponies I could envision putting up a fight would be Starlight Glimmer and the six Wonderbolts present, which is not enough to defend an entire city. While the former is extremely powerful and the latter have improved in later seasons, the odds of them besting a seemingly endless wave of goons thrice their size is practically zero. It's something small but unexplored that makes me feel bad for them, odd as that may seem. Of course, this begs the question of why this happened given that the Mane 5 and some pirates defeated the Storm King's goons by themselves, but that's one of the many plot holes that stood out like a sore thumb.
Also, the thing about the Mane 5 seemingly not taking things seriously annoyed me more than it should have, especially since their non-Mane 6 friends are suffering at the same time. Previous two-part episodes featured the Mane 6 taking things seriously, which further confuses me as to why these decisions were taken. It'd make a lot of sense for Rarity to worry about Sweetie, Coco, and Sassy, Rainbow Dash to worry about the Wonderbolts and Scootaloo, Fluttershy to worry about Tree Hugger, Applejack to worry about her family, etc. I know it's a movie targeted primarily toward kids, but a little anxiety in the characters' actions wouldn't hurt, right? Just wanted to mention those quibbles since your comment reminded me of them.
But I shouldn't dwell on the negatives too much. There's always Season 7 for my cute pony needs.
Anyway, I wish you well!
4691733
If there's anything the show's writers are good at, it's ignoring character development!
Eh. Movie suffers from the same thing the last four seasons of the show have. Writers who can't plot their way out of a paper bag, fail to remember basic character development, and more likely have zero editorial support.
So much stuff that should have been cut as unnecessary, and so much handwaving to try and make something a direct threat when it never needed to be to get the Mane 6 involved in the first place. It's not like it's some Great Writerly Secret that if any of your characters does not have a purpose in the narrative, then they either need to not be there, or the narrative needs to be reworked to include them.
4691722
I'm not sure I trust them that much in this case...
But I really liked the idea (I think from Bookplayer) of "what if Novo had said they hid to keep the pearl from the Storm King?" Would have made them seem better, and tied in with the plot more, and could even have given room to say specifically what he wanted to do with it and how it could help TS and friends.
Oh, and I meant to ask: Great MLP The Movie (2017) ending, or greatest MLP The Movie (2017) ending? :V
Serious le mis vibes
This was the biggest laugh at the theater i was at
She really did. Here and capper's underdevlopment is probably the most common critique of the movie in the fandom.
Probably the biggest problem with capper in the movie. He should've acted surprised that the ponies lied to him. My only guess is that characters lying and tricking others may genuinely confuse small children about the plot.
And Capper laughs maniacally while doing so. Lets count that as redemption.
2.5 sounds a bit harsh. It's better than a lot of 2 parter finales or adventure openings. Then again, RT is being unkind too. Most of the negative reviews are superficial or complain about someone's pet issue, like not having Discord. (Who has no reason to step in. There's plenty of chaos and fluttershy isn't in trouble).
It was pretty awful
Eh, "We Got the Beat" didn't bother me that much. MLP is originally from the 1980s, after all; it'd make sense to go with some kind of song from that era. And I thought Emily Blunt was fantastic as Tempest; she nailed the hardness of the character, but there were little hints that she might've been a sweetie once. It's like Blunt was playing her character from "Edge of Tomorrow", but as a villain instead.
But I'll also admit that I really like the explanation you give for Twilight's questionable actions. I think that a lot of other folks were screaming "OOC!!!1" a little too harshly and quickly. She has been through a lot, and the movie actually did a pretty good job at showing her desperation. Hell, it's probably the best aspect of the movie for me.
And yeah, I also feel like some of the characters were stuck around their Season 4 personas. I guess that'll happen when you start production on a movie before the other seasons get going.
I want to thank you for outlining Twilight's headspace in the lead-up to her blowup at Pinkie; that really didn't sit right with me in the moment, but I can kind of buy into it now.
Lukas Graham is the Danish band who did 7 Years. Nominated for Song of the Year at the Grammys, hit #2 in the US. Their lead singer, Lukas Forchhammer was raised in an anarchist community in Copenhagen.
The Hippogriff toy was Stratus Skyranger. No idea why he was cut, but the toy lives on.
Though hey, PP I'd like to point out:
Klugetown was clearly a colony of Mag Mell. Equestria confirmed for goblins.
You've hit on exactly on my issue with McCarthy's big episodes: it's like she realizes the format requires her to kill her children, but she's really bad at playing Sophie's Choice (new from Milton Bradley!). She'll excise important shit for time, but what's left is either repetitive or pointless. What this show needs is some kind of bizzaro version of her — a "Neghan" McCarthy, if you will
What are "Things eggs say", Alex?
Was anyone who's seen the trailers surprised by this? They practically said "This guy's that inexplicably obligatory obnoxious character who serves no real purpose, but for whatever reason we're convinced everyone will like him. I mean, look at what a huge success The Pest was!"
I guess I should watch this, even though it sounds terrible, but I'll probably just pirate it. I work hard for my money (so hard for it, honey), so I'd rather not throw it away supporting an incompetent staff who's basically told me and my friends to go fuck ourselves. Yeah, I'm still somewhat salty about that. Please tell me the past eight episodes have been worth watching, because it's honestly starting to kill me that I've become so disconnected from this fandom as of late and maybe some hope will motivate me to actually watch them (Jesus Christ! What's wrong with me that I can't seem to watch a television show anymore?)
4692159
I mean, I'm pretty sure one of the seapony guards has his design (I recall a reddish crest?), but we see non-Skystar hippogriffs for like two seconds, during which we are distracted by Skystar getting grounded, so I don't even. :B
4692163
I'll take it!
4692185
Oh my god, that video. XD
I couldn't tell you what the last eight episodes were, but this week's was definitely worth watching, especially if you're still salty about Fame and Misfortune.
4692271
Thing that really pissed me off was that Tempest didn't get her horn back.
4692391
Honestly, I think that was a good thing that she didn't. Like, she can still do magic. She's concerned with being powerful, and Twilight affirms she is. It probably speaks to disabled kids who aren't the sort who will ever be able to get over their disability (y'know, can't grow arms back, etc.)
I mean, if you're upset she got robbed and used by the Storm King, yeah, but also kind of no surprise there. :B If I was going to rewrite the movie, I would make the theme "living with what's lost", but I also dunno how I'd do that, it's pretty ambitious. :V
4692413
"If there's a way to get the use of your arm back, don't take it! Accept your fate as god intended, modern medicine is unnatural!"
4692421
More "you can do things and be accepted as you are now, you don't have to feel incomplete, bad or unwanted". :B
4692457
They never discussed this. Even if that was the message, in a situation where they could have restored her horn, it was never offered.
There will soon come a time when lifelike prosthetics or total replacements will become available. In such a world, limblessness will become a lifestyle choice - one that, frankly, I don't think a lot of people are going to pick willingly. Deaf people often pick deafness, yes, but the treatments to fix hearing are still not great.
Teaching people to accept their disabilities is great while they can't be fixed, but if the message you're inculcating is that you should accept your disability even when there's a way to fix it, then you're sending a very bad message. You're suggesting A) that people should only accept "natural" things and the flow of whatever accident rendered them disabled or B) encouraging people to accept disabilities as a lifestyle choice, which hey, sure, live and let live, but can we encourage people to take options that make their lives easier instead of harder?
I have dysphoria. I am going to happily chop off a body part and remix it into a new one. I did not appreciate the suggestion that I just accept something that gives me daily agony and daily reminds me that I'm not right.
4692469
I think you're being unfair. I highly doubt Present's point was that we shouldn't transition in any capacity. More like I'm not any less of a woman just because I was born a little differently and regardless of what changes I might or might not want to make to myself
4692498
Yeah, but if someone was waving around a magic stick that could fix your physical sex with a flash of light, you'd take it, right? You'd be furious if they forgot to heal you, right?
Unless you choose not to - but god damn it, that's your decision, and your need deserves to be heard.
4692469
4692498
Ah! I understand now. I was coming at this from a viewpoint of transition and disability being completely different, though they absolutely have similarities. No offense was intended. :C
4692506
There are differences, to be fair, but yeah.
Also, someone I care about suffers deep, constant phantom pain from a missing body part. Telling her to just accept that is cruel, and she cried on seeing this movie.
She would probably kill people to get it back.
4692510
...They definitely could have done a better job with making a moral out of Tempest's end-state.
He said, as though that were the only thing they could have done a better job of.
4692502
Personally, I'd rather live in a more accepting world where I could've transitioned sooner, but yeah, the choice would be nice. Wasn't arguing with that. Just meant I didn't think Present was arguing something like that
4692457
When most people get a limb mauled off by a bear, it's not quite as functional as hers is. :p
4692510
Probably? Wasn't that, like, her entire arc in the movie? She was certainly willing to enslave and torture people...Sorry, badly misread that, attributed the pronoun to Tempest, not the person you saw the movie with.Okay, am I missing something? I don't remember Sassy having lines in the movie, and in the show she's voiced by Kelly Sheridan (Glimglam's VA).
4692800
I fuckin' knew it
I would like to point out - and I went back and checked to make sure - that while fleeing, one of the middle guys falls over before being completely covered in fire... Yeeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhh...
4692163
Mag Mell? One of the starter towns in Dark Age of Camelot?
(God, I'm old...)
4692502
Sorry! Just realized I misread your hypothetical earlier
For whatever reason (I blame work), I was thinking you were asking about the chance to have been born a cis woman, rather than a magical transition. Yeah, I'd absolutely want them to fix me, and you're damn right I'd be pissed if they forgot! This forehead's friggin' killing me, and I don't know when I'll be able to get it fixed
4693044
City in another realm from my story, Through the Well of Pirene, which featured towns and cities of people with strange features much like Klugetown.
No mention of Dash's "raised-inna-barn"? That may be the best most distilled Dash moment ever.
I was thinking just that as I'm was watching it.
4699071
By that point, I was kind of tired of "Dash is here, she's going fast", so the joke loses something on me. :/
4699074
>tired of dash is going so fast
I can't even
Tempest's backstory is a bit of a better motivation than Glimmers. Compare: active shunning by former friends still there to I don't wanna try to make new ones. I'm slightly more sympathetic is all I'm saying.
But, you know what you should do, having compared backstories? (ship those horses.)
4699122
Ship them? :V
I agree, and a lot of other people have said Tempest's backstory is better, despite being, y'know, a whole half a scene in the middle of a song.
4699491
I mean, Glimmer's was basically the same length, and didn't involve any, you know, active component hurting her.
And Tempest's backstory ALSO has to include her real name. I mean, name a kid that and OF COURSE they'll turn out evil D:
4691566 Less of a mess than Jedi, I'll admit.
There's an interesting coincidence here: "I have no idea who Lukas Graham is"
Lukas Graham is a pop Danish band who do "Off to See The World."
Lukas Nelson is Willie Nelson's son, who sings "Neighsayer" at the end of the movie.
Seriously, I heard Neighsayer and my first thought was "Willie?"