Catharsis

Suicidal depression is not an easy thing to live with. I am blessed to say that I am not currently dealing with depression as much as I have in the past. High school was rough, college wasn’t that great, and right after college I went through a rough divorce which cost me the ability to achieve my dream of working in the ministry (though admittedly by my own personal conviction of the meaning of μιᾶς γυναικὸς ἄνδρα). The Lord blesses me with the continuance of my existence and finds it fitting for that existence to be physical and mortal for the time being, and by all means all glory to Him for that.

By no means, though, should we disqualify the secular, human means by which the Lord aides us. Certainly there are times when someone outside of the body of Christ is used for good in our lives, and it is right and fitting that we should be thankful to that individual personally for that good work. Also, the forms by which we are naturally assisted (as opposed to supernaturally) through times of trouble should not be discounted as a blessing either.

I say this long-winded preamble to express what I am sure many of us around my age are thinking now. We grew up in a pretty depressive society, and often had the desire to end our own lives. One thing that helped so many of us was catharsis, the ability to just scream it all out, to emote until we became (it is hard to even type it) numb. To build ourselves back up from nothing is easier than bringing ourselves back up from the slough of despond. When despair is overwhelming, a rage and a cry and deep emotion through art is a much better alternative to taking physical action against oneself or others. For those my age, there was no better outlet for this catharsis than the music of Linkin Park.

The irony is crushing that we have lost Chester Bennington, who helped us through the pain, to a pain that he himself could not bear, seemingly at the loss of his own cathartic muse. I first read the news with passing sympathy, and told my wife, who also seemed no more moved than any other tragic loss of a celebrity. Then we rode to work today and listened again to these songs that shaped our lives. We were a mess by the time we arrived at work. “One Step Closer” was an absolute tidal wave of emotion. With all our Linkin Park on shuffle, we didn’t make it to “Numb” and I am not sure if I could have kept driving if we had. The more recent songs “Shadow of the Day” and “Iridescent” were just as poignant.

I pray my God comfort the family and friends of this beloved artist, and the hearts of all of you who feel what I am going through. If you feel suicidality depressed, please stop what you are doing and seek help. Even if no one else tells you this, I love you and want you to have the chance to feel better. Please look into this link, probably my favorite web pages in existence:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/UsefulNotes/SuicidePrevention

Just the sight at all the organizations that exist solely to help us through this is heartwarming.

The Lord bless you and keep you.