For once I abmit I need help. · 4:05am May 18th, 2017
So as of tonight my mother has been admitted to saint francis... or something like that hospital. Swelling of the brain how nice... no not really please. People... I like to think I am the active supporter who helps people. So a blog for help how do I begin. I dont even know how to word it but please a moment of your time as I try to clear my thoughts...
Okay as me being me... I think I ready myself for the best of the worse. Wear armor just tight enough I wont fall to first blow. Have a heart sensitive enough i can help those important my up when times are hard. Here is am none of that means anything. They found swelling... in the brain region. If they can relieve pressure all is good. If not well... that is the part that hurts me to think about. I tell myself time and time again. Get ready I will have to step up at sometime. I have a little sister quite the age to face the world alone yet.
The thing is no matter how much of a pep talk I give myself. No matter how much planning or preparing I think i have. I am in no rush... No I do not desire such a day and I dont want it to be anytime soon. In fact I always said I would praise god if he would take me first. Strange I know but it is true.
So I guess instead of hearing me whimper you want me get to the point. I know there is nothingg anyone can physically do. However spirituallly maybe. If your religious pray. Pray that Debbie Ellis may come home safely. She still has a family needs her. If you are not religious send her best wishes... Even if your goth do some goth thing I dont know. I am to much a wreck to do my research.
I guess this is the point I end my blog. I know some of you will laugh at this. I know some will think this is pethetic. However if you havent felt the lost yet someday you will and if you have try to think of how that made you feel. I fear for my little sister and my family. I doubt I good enough to hold it together and at time like this one weak link equals a broken chain.
*hugs you tightly with tail and arms* it will be okay. Just have faith. I'm near if you need me Big brother!
And rob your mother of the time she wanted to value with you? I hope she hasn't lived a full life just yet (meaning, she still has more life to live), but I know you haven't. You're saying you'd rather selfishly rob her of what time she gets with you so that you don't have to deal with it yourself.
Maybe not the most appropriate time to be philosophizing, but that is one of the most cruel things you could wish upon a family member. I will praise God if he lets my mother die after having lived a full life, does not force her to suffer in the end, and ensures that every moment I get to spend with her is as happy and full of life as I hope to someday get to spend with my children.
I recommend the movie if you haven't seen it, by the way.
hug
I have known you for more than a year now. Your family will always be in my prayers.
From how many years I've known you, you're like an older brother to me. You were there for me, and now it's my turn for me to be there for you. Have faith that your mother will recover, even if you have doubts, listen to that one song that will remind you that your family is important to you.
Here are some songs that will help comfort you:
*hugs* The truth is you can't prepare for what is to come, not fully any away as what comes is the unknown. The variables of what lies before you is truly the worry you face. What you first need to do is calm down and look at everything one at a time, see what issues will have to be tended to and which ones you don't need to bother with.
Once you've done this, the next step you have to do is start preparing for the worst while hoping for the best. I do wish you and your family the best in this trying time, but worrying about what is beyond your control will not do anything. Tending to what is within your control will help to reduce the problems that will come, in the event of either situation that is to come.