Review: Imposing Sovereigns Stories, Survivors · 4:12pm Apr 14th, 2017
Now, as promised (for real this time) the look at those Princess that lasted through hardship, tragedy, some kind of turmoil and managed to prevail. To survive. I'll be honest, given my personal aversion of overly sad, dark, tragic stories that just take your emotions and put them through a blender, and how some form of tragedy is implied in 'Survivor' (unless one of these turned out to be Twilight being the last survivor of an epic, Ponyville wide Nerf war/pie fight. Come to think of it... why is this not a thing?) I was assuming this would be the most painful group to read and review, the ones I'd just be struggling to be fair to and try to find the good beyond my own issues with overly sad stories.
I could not have been further from the truth. Whatever else I might have to say about these four stories, none of them were stories that I felt bad after reading. None were stories that pushed the tragedy and sadness to far. All of them having their own unique quality to them beyond the inherent sadness and tragedy. The simple fact of that is enough for me to have to give a huge amount of props to all of the stories just for managing to take what is set up to be the least enjoyable group of stories I had to read for this..... and making them ALL stories I actually liked and could more then see the quality of. All without getting lost in angst and other beating you over the head with how bad everything is. Even when being sad and tragic, they managed to have enough beauty and/or hope or just, some wonderful aspect that kept things from getting to dark. But enough on generalness, time to dig into them in more details.
The World Fades to White, by:ReluctantBrohoof
Stark, barren, endless, inhospitable, isolated. The story does an amazing job at making you feel all of these. At really feeling the environment. The white, cold nothingness Flurry Heart¹ and Rutherford are trudging through. The harshness, the implacable force of nature they are facing. All while being very simple, direct, and brief. Not overpowering you with it, but clear all the time just how bad this is. It gives you backstory, lets us work out what is going on just through their talks. Then the ending, the reveal. Already expecting it and yet, what we see, the final revelation... yes it's a kick to the feels. Yet.. at the same time the story gives it a sense of nobility. Their final acts may have been futile, and yet they gave everything they had to try and stave off this doom. Then ending on one last hopeful moment. This trip was for a greater reason. Even though it's just a possibility, even Flurry Heart herself not being sure this will work, there is still hope.
This is a very simple story. Flurry Heart and Rutherford travel through a snowstorm to a place, the end. But what sells it is the sensations, the way the story so well conveys that sense of desolation and emptiness around them. Then slowly builds up the larger story, just what is at stake, why this is needed. It's a simple enough reason. Nothing that feels overly dark or forced. A very possible problem that could happen. Yet through it all it never dwells on the sadness, but on the bond between Rutherford and Flurry Heart. The knowledge that the Yaks and the Crystal ponies have not only come to live together peacefully as one nation by now, but that each has managed to make the other better. Sharing the best traits of each other. Then in the end, the glimmer of hope. The tragedy of the past is just that, in the past. But there is hope now that the tragedy will not be repeated. And yes I'm being vague about the details. Because this story is not about, or carried by the details, but rather the feelings, the sensation, the presence of the world around the characters. It is a very simple story, and yet such a well done experience.
Prompt- Flurry Heart most certainly survived a great tragedy, and now has to revisit that place, confront the ghosts of her past, in order to find the one hope they have of preventing it from happening again. A wonderful look at the idea, and having her be trying to stop this from happening again, giving that added motivation.. so well done. As I said, even the sadder, more tragic parts have a sense of nobility and respect to them that never really makes the story sad. Melancholic yes, bittersweet, but never depressing.
Overall:Incredible
¹Also, side note, it was not till the second to last read through/proofreading pass I realized I had used 'Skyla" through this whole thing... I lay all the blame for that fully on iisaw!
Debt (or Trial by Fire), by:SirNotAppearingInThisFic
Ohhh boy. Did not see this one coming. Of all the ideas of "Surviving" I thought might come up, this is by far the most inventive and the one I did not see coming. Like the last one there is little to talk about plot wise. It's incredibly simple. Just Celestia standing in a room, talking to a single other pony, trying to make a single decision. What the story is is a character study on Celestia. On the sister who survived Nightmare Moon's uprising.. and now has to live with the guilt of that. As well as the larger consequences Luna's fall had to Ponies everywhere. Who now has to try and put Equestria back together.
I thoroughly love this take on her. The wound of losing Luna, failing her, is still so fresh. You can feel her anger, her rage, but also her sadness, her remorse. The dilemma before her is one that there simply is not a 'right' answer to. Every option before her having it's own flaws, it's own ways it could go wrong. I am even fine with her initial call, being ready to simply execute ponies for what they did. This is still a younger Celestia, one still hurting, one not yet in control of her emotions, and the story does such a good job of making you understand why she is doing this. But this is still Celestia, and she shows it. First by picking ponies for important positions she knows will not simply obey her. Ones that will stand up to her, fight for what they feel is right. But more importantly, that she will listen to them. Her initial decision was made out of anger, rage, but she was wise enough to listen, to allow herself to think further. There truly was no perfect solution to be had, yet she manages to work through it and find what may be the best of them.
This is simply a wonderful look at some of the potential issues facing the new sole Princess of Equestria in the years immediately after the fall of Luna, as well as giving a very well thought out, and very touching explanation for an action many have criticized Celestia for. Allowing Luna's name to fall into obscurity. It was not done out of malice, out of neglect, out of anything but her love for her Sister. Wanting to ensure that when she comes back she will have a fresh start. It might not have worked out perfectly, and it might not, like her choice with the larger problem, have been perfect. But it was done for the right reasons.
Prompt- Celestia.. can't really get more "Princess" then that in MLP. And, this is a story of Survival to be sure, just, many different kinds. Surviving the fight with Luna, Surviving her loneliness, and of Equestria surviving these trying time through her leadership, compassion, and willingness to admit when she is wrong. To listen to her friends council.
OverallIncredible
Stay Determined, by: Czar_Yoshi
I know I am saying this a lot... but I am not sure what to really say about this fic. Though in this case, I mean that more so then any other story yet, and for a wholly different reason. Not because there is little to talk about, quite the opposite. There are SO many themes and topics and ideas in here to explore. The issue is, how much to talk about without giving away to much? I have a rather, cavalier, relationship with spoilers on the whole. I really do not mind them for the most part. Quite often I find it more comforting to know where a story is heading. To see what is coming, be ready. (Large part of this is not knowing can really set of my anxiety issues at times.) It is one reason I just do not get how people can claim something being 'predictable' is in and of itself a bad thing. But, that is just on the whole. There are specific circumstances. Certain stories where yes, spoilers will take something away. Some stories where you are far better off going in without details. This is one such story. There is more then enough here to still be a good story even with knowing all the twists and turns. But the experience of it, the full power... it really is a story you should go into blind and see unravel before your eyes.
So major plot discussion is out, bar that I will say this was masterfully done. Just such a damn good way of using these ideas to mess with what we think is going on. Guess if I wanted to talk about stuff that isn't spoilery.... let's go with characters. Or character, since there is really just one. Starlight. This story really gets what makes Starlight tick. The pre-Twilight Starlight. Not the whole Cutie Mark hatred and cult leader stuff. But rather the deeper, underlying character traits that pushed her to that. You can fully see the shadings of the old Starlight in this. Her dedication to 'helping ponies' in what she feels is the best way possible. Her determination, inability to give in, to relent. The full, thorough belief that she is right no matter what. Her need to feel in control. Her insistent on perfection. Her fear of the slightest failure,. Seeing anything not going perfectly as being the same as utter ruin. That one small mistake would end everything. All of this is just such a great look at this character. Just, being able to make her so identifiable yet with none of her backstory. None of her memories. Just take the base personality, and develop it in a new environment. Getting a different overall pony, but one who is nonetheless recognizable and true to her core. Simply a wonderful use of the character.
Speaking of, one aspect about the story itself and how it ends I do want to talk about without being TOO spoilery. This is certainly the darkest of the fics in this category. Or at least the most tragic. It is the closest to what I assumed we'd be getting, but handles it well enough, with enough twists and enough such well done emotion that it never reached the DIAA threshold. A large part of that is due to one of those characteristics above. I find that as much as I dislike sad, 'tragic' stories on the whole I do tend to respond better to ones that are 'Tragedy" in one of the most classical senses of the term. Where the characters failings, their fate, the hardships they end up with are through their own flaws. Where it is because of who they are they end up with what they get. Where if they had just managed to grow past that flaw, been able to let go of something, they could have escaped this whole mess. Not in some 'the story trying to make a point about how wrong being like this is' way, but in a more natural simple logical consequences of their actions type way. That is very much on display here, and made clear on several occasions. If Starlight could just let go of her need for perfection, just cease needing to have the most extreme victory of EVERYTHING working out in the end, let go of her anger and rage, any of it. If she could just bend a bit more, accept things might not always be how she wants them to be, this whole thing could be broken. There is no one to blame for what Starlight is going through but Starlight.
Also, one side note for character, her insistence on giving everyone a 'Happy ending'. I loved it. Her idealism is brought up as something fueling the pain, that if she would just let go of it things would be better. Normally, that would kind of irk me, but here... it works. Because it is not her idealism in and of itself that is the issue. It is her fanatical clinging to it. The degree to which she has built her entire self around that image. It's the extreme to which she takes it that is the issue. I could just go on endlessly about this one idea, but to save space, I'll just say for one HELL of a great look at how 'Giving someone a happy ending' rarely makes them happy, go read Sir Terry Pratchett's Witches Abroad
That all said, while there IS so much great in this story, it does have issues. Less in the story itself as in the set up. There are simply so many questions about what is going on that go unanswered. So many things that need to be accounted for for this to actually happen. How did it all start? How'd this whole thing begin? Where did the Princess of Time come from? How are they able to use the time spell without the Map? Where are Celestia and Luna? All the other villains? Yes, there have been a lot of theories about how the Wasteland timeline is the "Starlight Wins" one, and it makes some sense in a way. But this? It just.. it's a great way to play with the idea. But at the same time there are just too many questions about how this happened. Many parts just feel to perfectly in place. A bit to contrived just so the story can happen with no explanation how. Though, this is also likely more a personal issue and just my need to KNOW EVERYTHING! at work. Some stuff I can just write of as not being needed, but some of it is rather vital to making me believe this whole story, as well done as it is, is actually plausible in the setting it is in. Without at least some hints how this could happen, I'm left with a small part of me stuck trying to figure that out and not fully enjoying the story. Though again, more a YMMV thing.
Prompt wise. Well a rather interesting look at the idea. can't really say more without spoilers. Certainly the most atypical idea in this group, but still rather creative.
Overall:Great
The Honing of Perfection, by:Dafaddah
A story of how Chrysalis went from Princess Chrysalis to Queen Chrysalis. If that sounds familiar, well it is. Just to start this out I want to point out how this pretty much serves as a great example of one of the best aspects of stories on this site, and fanfics in general. Being able to see so many takes on the same thing. See how people take the information we have, and can craft into such radically different stories. All of which work equally as well (ideally at least) as the rest. Not to mention the shear creativity it shows and encourages. I simply love this!
Now as to this story itself... yeah it's another great take on how Chyssi's early life could have gone. Showing a vastly different Changeling hive dynamic then the last, but one that feels just as real and plausible. Becoming Queen is still about strength, guile and power. But rather then mother versus daughter, the Princesses have to deal with each other. Only one allowed to take her place as ruler of the hive. Both takes work well, but of the two I'd have to say I kind of like this version a bit more, yet Motherly felt more like the Changelings we see in canon.
That did kind of throw me off a bit at first, plus the way the 'lings go about getting a new Princess grub here felt rather odd. Waiting till the Hive was nearly dead and making the new one start from scratch? It felt a bit to contrived, a bit to odd. That this was not at all a smart idea and one that is just asking for the whole hive to go extinct. But then I spotted one little detail that made all of it snap into focus and gave me that dawning moment of realization where it all makes sense and you see it's a lot smarter then you thought. Specifically, noting the small little tidbit, just a single line that isn't dwelt on, noting there was a dead husk of a drone in the Queen's chamber. This isn't how it's supposed to go. There should have been plenty of drones around to help the new Queens. It really did make no sense that the drones would be dying so fast the grubs would notice it during their short time as grubs. Unless, they weren't dying naturally. This wasn't just the normal turnover rate of drones dying but not being replaced by new eggs. The old queen was slaughtering her entire hive. Draining every drone of every last scrap of love and essence she could to try and survive just one more day. Screwing over the Hive's future to try and postpone the inevitable. That adds just, yet so many layers to this whole story and what Chyssi is going through. All while being so subtle, I missed it the first time. I freaking LOVE stuff like that.
I said that Motherly felt more like the Changelings we know from the show. What if that is because the 'lings really were different back then? Not good, but less all about massive conquest. Less evil then they were shown under Cryssi. We see 'lings here showing affection for each other, caring about each other in their own ways. What if that used to be normal? What if after Chryssi had to go through what she did, grow into her position like that it all changed? After she had to repopulate the entire hive on her own with no other Changelings around to help her or to try serve as an example of what they were like before this she turned them harder, more brutal? This really is a rather great idea behind what made Chyssi who and what she is. A survivor, one who will persevere through anything, fight for what she wants. Another well done story that takes what we know, and shows a rather compelling idea of how it could have turned out that way.
Now since I've done a lot of comparing the two stories, if I had to rate them in some way I'd have to say I do think Motherly would win as the slightly better written story. But that I enjoyed reading this one a bit more.
Prompt- Can't really get more spot on there. Princess Chryssi goes through a Survival of the Fittest type ordeal to take charge of the Changelings and become Queen Chrysalis
Overall:Great
So yeah. The group I thought would be filled with the stories I least enjoyed reading ends up being the one with (to me) the most consistent quality all around. Pretty sure there is a friendship lesson in there somewhere. Now that I've survived what looked to be (and kind of was) the darkest set of stories, time to move onto what looks to be the most lighthearted of them and I'm betting will be just plain fun. Party Princess time!
Oh right, ending vid, well seeing as how this is a lot of bittersweet, and even a mention of The Princess of Time... let's go with a epic, yet rather heartbreaking requiem for just that Princess.
Isn't it amazing how many really awesome stories cam out of this contest?
I am inordinately pleased by this.
4496169 Oh yeah, so many awesome ideas, really glad I did this just for pushing me to read them all.
And yeah, you really have gotten me thinking 'Skyla'... damn you.
It's when a reader goes through and brings up just about everything you had hoped to accomplish in a work that you know you've done your job well.
Thank you so much for this.
4496233 You are very welcome, glad you enjoyed it. It really was an amazing fic.......
And just realized I forgot to add my ranking for favorite/best story of the group at the end, I KNEW I was forgetting something... Because yeah, that would go to White. Just such a powerful, yet simple story that really makes good use of the prompt.
4496233
This.
4496264 See below.
Took a bit to get to it, but damn was that a good story. Thank you for writing it.
I can only echo 4496233 's statement! There's nothing more rewarding to an author than to have a reader get the subtext of a story. These are the type of things that I struggle with to get right, important details that must be conveyed peripherally because of the very specific perceptual filters of the protagonists, but that I and the reader would normally consider glaringly important. And to have that happen in a review is doubly gratifying! Thanks!
4496416 And thank you. Glad you liked it.
I really did miss that little bit the first time and thought the whole thing felt a tad off. But looking back through before writing the review I spotted that line and just went...
It all makes perfect sense now. Very well done indeed.
Thanks for the review!
I'm glad you had a category where every single one was enjoyable.
If I might speak in defense, though, there are numerous reasons here on why I was so vague with the backstory.
First off, the focus is intended for Starlight and Starlight alone. Notice how I never included any dialogue or description whatsoever for any character that wasn't her, not even names or how many there were? She isn't, but the story treats her like she's the only pony in the world, because from her point of view, she's the only one who matters. The only one who can do anything. In the battle at the start, she uses her rewind spell and the implication is that she's never told any of her friends about it; she's 100% alone. Describing backstory or details about the world that have nothing to do with her- specifically, what Starlight perceives as her- is out, because that would put focus on something else.
Going off that, the point of the story is Starlight's character arc. As far as Starlight concerns herself, she has no past, and if she does she wants nothing to do with it. I want the storytelling to be as close to her mind and thought process as possible, and that means focusing on what she would focus on and ignoring what she would ignore. Furthermore, when she does care, the perspective is still hers and the audience can only know what she found. You know nothing about this world that Starlight doesn't know herself. And in this world? There's not a lot to find.
Next up, I don't like saying this because it makes me feel like I'm complaining, but time and space constraints were very real when writing this. The contest happened to overlap with a particularly brutal finals week- I barely got the last bit of polish in on the final day of the contest, and had to basically ignore my friends irl to do it. There was also a contest space limit which, if you look, I pushed down to the word (exactly 15k long, my story was). Even if I wanted to throw in random worldbuilding, I'd have to make room for it, and giving Starlight enough character development for her transformation throughout the story had to take precedence. It's what the story is about, after all.
Finally, I did use an Alternate Universe tag. That could mean I split from canon at some point and go off on my own, or it could just be a license to say "this is different from canon because I say so." A handwave, sure, but a necessary one when there's so much that would be required to link this story to the canon state of affairs and so little impact it would have on the overall plot, themes or message. Speaking of which, if circumstances do seem a little "perfect"... Starlight sees the world through a lens of perfection. I can 100% guarantee there are some assumptions she makes about the state of the world you're probably making with her that aren't necessarily true.
...One more thing. This story is wrapped up and nicely self-contained, but I haven't ruled out the possibility of eventually making a sequel in which Starlight does learn her lesson... or the period of her life from waking up in that alley to the start of this one is more thoroughly explored. But since none of the details are relevant to this story's plot or character development (and they would be there), and my time's probably going to be monopolized with other large projects for the foreseeable future, I wanted to leave myself as blank a slate as possible. Nothing is more annoying than trying to work around some detail you want to change and can't retcon, but never mattered in the first place.
4496646 I understand most of those. The whole sense of only knowing what Little Starlight knows, seeing things through her eyes. It works very well for this story. Like I said
I fully admit most of that stuff is more an issue of my own personal taste and a need to pick apart, examine, over analyze, and find out all the facts I can about a story and it's world. Always trying to examine the world beyond the page itself. Plus, I almost never look at stories (at least on this site) in a vacuum, but also in how they fit into the larger narrative of the show's world. Which adds to the issues. Looking at it in and of itself, some of those issues do go away. Only really 'how did this actually start' comes back into play.
Really, there is almost nothing on the list of stuff I asked about that you NEED to know. The story is very well done regardless of that and uses what it has very well. Everything fits in within itself. This is just all the things I see and want to know more about to understand better, which like I said is far more just a personal taste and preference thing then any actual flaw in the story. I just don't really like ambiguity on the whole and prefer hard details and knowing as much lore behind everything as possible.
The loop idea was well done, and I can fully buy a loop like this both ending up trapped in endless repeats despite starting differently, and eventually, after way way to long breaking when enough tiny changes accumulate. Basically.. the Doctor Who ep Heaven Sent which if you haven't seen it...... holy fuck go watch that damn thing, I don't care if you never watched Doctor Who before, that episdoe is a freaking masterpiece! But I fully see the same idea at play with this. Even had a few ideas just how this could have started. The one that feels the most right to me, or at least that I can think of that makes the most sense. Is that it's an AU, where Starlight does destroy the time spell after she returned from this trip. Trapping her and Twilight in the past. That the original Princess of Time was this Starlight, and the other Starlight was the Starlight who was still a foal at this time. And they just ended up slowly getting caught in this loop.
OHHHH idea! It was Future!Starlight stealing Past! Starlight's Cutie Mark to try and double her own power and talent which allowed her to create the time spell that didn't need the map, and Ascend, that Cutie Mark ending up being lost in the process, hence only one! Would even explain how they can pass the wings back and forth.
Okay tangents. It is by no means this does not make sense, or I can't see a way this could happen, it was more just, as stated, that not knowing these things just kind of bugs me. Yet, it does work perfectly well for this story, just YMMV personal little bug issues. (Though still at a loss for what happened to the other Princesses. They took each other out when NMM returned maybe? OH OH OH OH That could work.. Starlight gets to the point in time, tries to make sure all the stuff the Mane 6 stopped gets stopped without them.... and screws it up by doing something that banishes BOTH Sisters!)
Okay the more I'm thinking about this, the more ideas I'm getting
But yeah those were just overall minor personal nitpicks based on how I look at stories like this more then any true problems in the story. Things that aren't impossible, but were odd enough i REALLY wanted to know the answer to them because they had such a major impact on the story and 'verse. Still an amazing story with one HELL of a well done twist. And yeah, far from the first story in this contest where the time and word count limits were one of the largest things that caused the story to suffer a bit from needing a bit fleshing out.
4496699
Now, see, if I'd established some backstory, you wouldn't be having fun theorizing, would you?
For real though, if you want to know more about that world, give it a track and stick around for a year or two. I can't commit to anything with a time frame like that, but it's not impossible it'll be continued.