Revise the Fallen

The last chapter of Unfriendly Competition is... hopefully improved. Thank you to everyone who took the time to explain the issues with the original, or just express your displeasure. (I'm pretty sure this was the first time I've ever actually dreaded getting notifications.) It's nice to know that I have readers unafraid to tell me when I've screwed the pooch.

And if it's still not up to snuff... Well, we're exploring new ground. Don't think many people have ever had an open beta for fan fiction before.

Comments

[MythrilMoth]

*reads* MUCH better.

[Daedalus Aegle]

Huh, what? Oh! Umm... [Twiling]"I didn't wanna bring it up, but yeah, it did seem strange."[/Twiling]

Yeah, sorry, I've been completely out of it the past week Been spending my convalescence deep in videogameland. I pretty much only noticed that the final chapter was very brief, and didn't read the comments at all, so this had gone by me. But the new version is a lot more substantial.

[Lurks-no-More]

And now I'm not sure if I should be happy or sad, because I missed the original version.

[FanOfMostEverything]

4479697
Glad to hear it.

4479907 4480873
It may be the worst-received piece of pony fiction I've ever written, and for good reason. It was an underdeveloped, perfunctory mess. I preserved nothing; hopefully no copies exist. If they do, may they be used as examples how not to end a story.