Shades of Grey: Second Edition, and Living the Nightmare

Tomorrow is re-release day, and I'm nervous in a new way. It's something I'm not sure I've felt before. I've had my fill of 'will people like it' and 'did I screw anything up'. I'm not unfamiliar with 'will it get into EqD' and I've had my fair share of 'how can I sell it to I wider audience?'

This isn't any of those feelings. No, this is something new, and unfamiliar. For a while I wan't even sure what it was. Sitting here in front of this blog post, however, I know. I know exactly what it is:

Pride.

Not something I've been akin to feeling about many things. Certainly not since the '07 UFS National Championship and my undefeated slaughter of 120-ish of my CCG-playing peers. That was the last time I really felt like I was good at something. Now, that feeling has come again. I may not be in the highest tiers of authors, and I don't question how much I still have to learn, but I have learned. Nine months ago I didn't even know what a run-on sentence meant. I wrote attribution for every single instance of dialogue. I used ten words when five would do. Two months ago, when the first rendition was complete, I realised I still didn't really understand sentence construction, or the best way to construct dialogue or to use beats.

But I learned.

My choice, my time, my drive and enthusiasm. Shades of Grey was my way of fighting back against more than a decade of anxiety and depression. Something I would not give up on, something I couldn't give up on. And here we are. The second edition isn't just the same story but better, it's a very real example of exactly where I am at right now as an author, and it's a place I finally feel that I can take some real pride in. To add to the overall sensation, I have a new cover image from Replaymasteroftime. If you like the picture, go over and show him some love.

Lastly, I also did something I didn't expect. Given my general resistance to short stories and the pace—due to mild levels of dyslexia—at which I usually write, I was surprised to bang out a 3.6k mini-story in a day, plus three proofing passes the day after. Once I get the last few reports in from selected test-readers, Living the Nightmare will be ready to go up, and I'm not stressing about the lack of lead time or polish. It's just weird I tells ya.

So here's the new cover art, and may I just give one last thank you and big hug to all the readers, editors, helpers and commenters that have helped me get this far without going completely insane. Next stop, Equestria Daily!