Random Ramblings CXLI - P.D.P 2.1

IN WHICH MY OLD WORK GETS KILLED BY CANON
This blogpost is the second in a six-part series. Here's Part 1, wherein you may find links to all other parts. The second half of this post is here.

I promised. And, like it or not, I keep my promises. This is a synopsis of the second "chapter" of my mythical Pinkamena story. I remembered it being around 30,000 words; it's actually 20,000 almost exactly. However, it's also a lot denser than Part 1, so I'm splitting this post in two (the break comes just past the halfway point) -- second half will come tomorrow. Follow me past the jump for more explanation, commentary, and apology.

I was really excited about this fic… and not as poor-off mentally as I am today (life after 30 is a sh!tshow, lemme tell ya). I was on fire writing-wise in a way I hadn't been in nearly 10 years and never would be again. So, according to my files, I began this chapter in late-July 2013, not long after finishing Part 1. This part covers Pinkamena's backstory, which has been thoroughly smashed to bits and tossed out the window by canon, making a rewrite impossible. However, Maud's introduction happened shortly after I wrote this and I did go back and tweak passages to include her existence.

At the time, with no guidance otherwise, I was under the assumption that Pinkie was the oldest of the three Pie kids (or #2 after Maud). Hey, it made since since Ponk got her cutie mark first. Her being older than Marble and Limestone gets referenced multiple times and has a role in the plot. Oops.

PS -- Except for occasional cuts back to Twilight in the library (and the very end), the entirety of this part, clocking in at 29 pages single-spaced, was written in first-person from Pinkamena's perspective.

Okay, let's get this trainwreck a-rollin'.

---

The Pie family belong to an ancient reactionary sect known as the Tarpanites – think the Amish or Old Believers – who separated themselves from other ponies not long after Luna's banishment. While there are pockets of Tarpanites throughout Equestria, the largest concentration is in the lands surrounding Trottingham. They believe in salvation through hard work and are thoroughly dead-set against race-mixing. More importantly, unlike the rest of Equestrian society, Tarpanites are strictly patriarchal. The Pie family is partially Shunned by other Tarpanites for two reasons: (1) They ended up with four daughters and no sons, (2) Cloudy Quartz's mother ("Granny Pie", a.k.a. Surprise) was a Pegasus who'd had a one-night fling with a Tarpanite.

Surprise - who was forced to cover her wings with a heavy blanket whenever she came by - was the only good thing to ever happen in Pinkamena's life. She taught Ponk and Maud how to read, but the other two were too young by the time Igneous Rock finally got tired of her and banned her from visiting. She died shortly thereafter of old age, and no one in the Pie family was allowed to attend the funeral because she wasn't really one of them.

A reference to the first Sonic Rainboom and that flashback scene in Ep.23. Fun is had. Unfortunately, in this story, after the party, Igneous and Cloudy decided that such frivolity was devious and needed to never happen again.

The next day, they try to straighten Pinkamena's now-curly mane, but the comb breaks, so they end up basically shearing her like a sheep while praying at her. For the next couple years, both her parents are downright abusive towards her in order to break her spirit — that created a seed of self-doubt that would nearly destroy her many years down the line, but I'll get to that.

The other sisters all get their cutie marks. Maud takes the opportunity to just up and leave the farm without saying goodbye to anyone but Ponk. That aside, Cloudy and Igneous are satisfied because in Tarpanite society, having a cutie mark is tantamount to adulthood -- that is, they can finally marry off their worthless daughters and hopefully get them to produce some sons to come and take over the rock farm. Within a couple weeks, they arrange marriages for all three of their remaining daughters (don't worry, Maud will show up again in the story soon).

Pinkamena is betrothed to a third son of a family near Stalliongrad (which, FYI, is Sunset Shimmer's hometown in my universes, but I'll write about her later), Dustbowl of the Clayhoof Clan, who was at least fifteen years older than her. He and his brothers show up to take Ponk away. The exchange goes smoothly. But then during the wagon ride to Stalliongrad, while the other brothers are pulling the covered wagon, Dustbowl turns out to be a pedophile (and psychotic) who didn't care if Ponk was too young to conceive - he might have also been turned on by the fact she looked like a colt at the time. He pins her to the floor, but a bump in the road knocks him off balance. Ponk uses the opportunity to grab a garden fork and slash him across the face, which blinds him in his right eye. When the wagon slows down to cross a bridge, she leaps off into the river below, hiding under the bridge in some reeds. The brothers fail to find her, but as they leave, they scream that now all of Tarpanite society is now her enemy and will do anything to bring her to justice.

She wandered alone along some rarely-trodden path for days until she collapsed from exhaustion in the Northern Badlands. She's rescued by two members of the Apple Clan, May Queen and Wagener -- the former being of the Apples' main branch in Ponyville. They gave up the farming life to become educators: horticulturists. They took Ponk on the scenic route through Equestria. I briefly describe a few of the cities. They reach Manehattan and meet a couple of Wagener's relatives, an unpleasant couple named Sunflower and Mustard Seed (they'll come up again later). Sunflower and May Queen get along because they appear to both be unable to conceive.

A few days after leaving Manehattan, they arrive in the village of Hockton, where Pinkamena sees a Wanted poster of herself with a 25,000 bit bounty for numerous "crimes". She rips down the poster, but May Queen catches her trying to hide it and Ponk explains the entire thing to her saviours, and all three of them rip the poster to shreds.

They reach Fillydelphia, get Pinkamena set up in their brownstone near the Academy where they teach, and get her in touch with a colleague of theirs, Steel-Gaze, who immediately takes pity on Ponk when he learns she's a Tarpanite — the sect has a godawful reputation in Equestria, but Celestia won't do anything about them because they mainly keep to themselves. Steel-Gaze decided to make Ponk an experiment of sorts (think Pygmalion) -- "Even a pony from the worst of circumstances can, with enough study and dedication, make it into a Royal-accredited Academy" -- in other words, a big F-you to the Nobility (a running theme in my Equestria-set stories if you haven't noticed).

It's during this time that May Queen and Wagener decide to formally adopt Pinkamena into their family. The Pies, even if they'd known, would neither want nor be able to stop it due to lack of paperwork on their end. Pinkamena decides not to change her name out of respect to Maud and her sisters.

Shortly after the adoption goes through, May Queen (thought to be barren) gets pregnant. Ponk doesn't take this well and runs away from home, assuming she'll be shunned in favour of the biological child. Wagener finds her hiding in an alley and brings her home. She keeps studying for the Academy.

May Queen gives birth to the pony who will become Babs Seed, but was originally given the name "Apple Blossom".

One day, when she's about 14/15, Ponk is accosted in the street by some thuggish stallions who had seen the old Wanted poster. She's saved by a giant stallion named Bramley (the name I gave Applejack et al's dad, though I'm sure S7 will prove me wrong there), who was May Queen's older brother. He came to Fillydelphia because his wife Liberty (ditto) had recently died in childbirth -- having Apple Bloom -- shortly before May Queen herself had given birth, and he just couldn't be around Sweet Apple Acres; it reminded him too much of what he'd lost. So he stayed with them in Fillydelphia and escorted Ponk to and from the Academy.

Several months later, Ponk was staying late at the Academy taking a mock entrance exam (which she passed), but her escort wasn't there. Steel-Gaze called her house: no answer. They go to the house to find it in a state of utter destruction. Turns out the Clayhoofs and/or their goons had attacked, and when the three Apples tried to resist, they were brutally murdered -- thus finally explaining what happened to AJ's parents (which, again, S7 will probably prove me wrong). I describe each body's state in some detail. This was never meant to be an "E" story.

Apple-Blossom was untouched because Tarpanites consider babies to be sacred because they are without sin for their first year. Steel-Gaze took both kids into his home and contacted Wagener's attorney, Catfish (ha-ha lawyer joke). Turns out Wagener and May Queen had set up a trust fund for both Ponk and Apple-Blossom, not to be touched until each turned 21. Apple-Blossom was supposed to go to Ponyville, but since the listed potential guardians (Liberty and Bramley) were both dead, that allowed the Seeds to step in and assert next-of-kin rights. Ponk, meanwhile, stayed with Steel-Gaze to "continue the experiment".

END FIRST HALF OF PART 2