FIMFic's Most Trolling Title: Create Your Own! · 11:16pm Feb 12th, 2017
And then tell me how you'd play the story completely straight.
I just posted what, for sheer 'Hey, get a look at this train wreck!' potential, might have been the most trolling title I've ever created: My Little Nyx With Cupcakes At The Rainbow Factory. And then when it came to the actual story? It's a school bake sale. Nyx goes to Cloudsdale and tries to sell cupcakes. That's it. There's a couple of references to the title's foundation elements, but nothing dark, grim, or bloody happens. It's just fluff. Cruel, title-trolling fluff which, if you judge by the most upvoted comment, seems to exist solely for the purpose of justifying PresentPerfect's facehoofing avatar. Again.
It's the most trolling title I've ever created. But it's surely not the most trolling title which could ever be.
So here's your challenge.
1. Create a Title Of Mega-Trolling. We're talking about Professor Quirrell levels of "WRITERS ESCAPED THE DUNGEON!" If you cringe while writing it out, you've probably got something. Actual screaming is bonus points, but it doesn't have to be your own.
2. Provide a summary of the actual story -- one which plays the title completely straight while removing all actual trolling in just about every way. (You will not be able to get rid of the aspect which makes readers say '...what?' Nor should you.)
Anyone actually writing their combo may be able to get into the Feature box on a wave of fad before the weekend wraps up.
Find the troll who lives inside us all. Toss hir a sheep(le) for fuel. And -- go!
Honestly, I feel like you nailed it already, to the point where there's no point in trying.
I have only the one addition to this pact: The character of "Anon", but in the story it isn't a self-insert shortening of Anonymous. It's old-timey speak for "Soon".
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One thought I had a while back was a story titled Hie Anon!, which would be based on Princess Luna sending someone out to do something with all possible haste, though I don't really have any ideas for the plot beyond that. If anyone wants to take it (for whatever mad reason), feel free - or get Admiral Biscuit to write it, whatever works.
You snapped up all of the low-hanging fruit in one fell swoop. I suppose I could combine two of the more "Oh God, why" fics out there into Twilight's Bathroom is Made of Pandas.
What? Transmutation spell gone awry. Depending on when it's set, the magically refractive nature of harmony crystal may be involved. Now she'll have to find a way to humanely (equinely?) keep them contained until she can undo the effects. Preferably without Fluttershy finding out. Ever.
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I genuinely have no idea which original elements/stories you're borrowing from. Plus I just searched the site, and there's no particularly reviled, dreaded, or just plain mega-viewed stories with either 'Bathroom' or 'Pandas' in the title. So honestly, what are you talking abo --
-- oh.
Right.
I have Mature turned off.
Give me a minute.
...
...life is a waking horror for which the only escape is senseless murder of one's own sanity. Thanks.
(So are you writing that?)
Princess Molestia Loves her Little Ponies
It's rated M.
Describing the plot isn't easy. That's because you would first have to get past the bad grammar to FIND the plot.
Thinking about it, the plot IS plot. In nauseating, excruciating detail. But, no one is going to read this for the story. Trust me on this. MLP meets Naked Came the Stranger (I am old)
"Cheerilee's Garden Dollhouse of Harmony."
Cheerilee has a garden. It's a beautiful garden, filled with the prettiest flowers around. But Cheerilee finds that something seems missing from it. She tries to decorate it, but has no idea what to put in it. She goes to Twilight for help. So Twilight gets the idea of making a miniature version of Ponyville. It's got cute little ceramic figures of everypony in town. Cheerilee is happy.
Title based on Cheerilee's Garden, Twilight's Dollhouse, and Pages of Harmony.
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I am an eldritch scholar driven only by my own morbid curiosity, eagerly delving into that which man was not meant to know. It's either that or follow politics.
In any case, after destroying the innocence you didn't even know you had, I almost feel obligated to follow up on this idea. Still, I can't make any guarantees. The plans are about as inchoate as they get before becoming a full-on fever dream.
Hmmmm. I feel like there's room for a Displaced story somewhere in this idea, but I can't quite get the notion to gel. What is "displaced" if taken literally and played straight? Oh. Wait. Ha ha ha ha. Idea! But I'm not sure it's 1000 words worth of idea, which makes it hard to publish. Still, I may write it out anyway and see.
Ponyfall all Day Long. One summers day, a bunch of ponies trip over. A lot.
It would have to be a shared-universe collaboration, that only two authors would actually finish...
4419773
Hold on, I'm not sure I understand this properly. Doesn't conventional wisdom have it that the latter is a subclass of the former?
Conversion Bureau divided by 4: a Displaced!Anon shipfic.
Written in 2nd person, obviously.
Twilight Eats Sonata's Taco
y
Sonata Grabs Twilight's Peaches
Donald Trump Grabs Princess Celestia's P
The Even Shorterest Displaced Fic Ever
Fluttershy's Bathroom is Flooded with Pandas
Soft Shell, Hard Heart: Majin Syekoh Makes Love to Soft Shelled Tacos
Twilight Sparkle has a Peach on her Ass--A Uranusverse Fic
Canonical Mute Vinyl Scratch Breaks Up With Fanon Mutavia (at 0 words, my shortest fic)
And those are some of the ones I actually did write.
Title: "The end of things background ponies say because they are the size of cats and love to lie about cuddling eastwards"
In the far future a pair of AIs discuss the recent fad of reviving abandoned simulations and recreating them, and the practice building an avatar of the simulation's original user, inserting them into the simulation, rendering them invisible, and then providing them with only a few obscure clues about a possible way out of its situation, just to see how they deal with it.
Of course their is no actual way out.
Tag: BWA-HA-HA!
Anything that makes PP shake with apoplexy is worth it.
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Or makes him punch me. That was a good time.
Fall of Equestria 40k: A Love Story
Equestria is under attack by an army of strange, bipedal beings covered in strange, deadly armor. Celestia is captured and taken to be processed by the evil aliens, but she is saved by a handsome, brave caribou warrior named Dainn...
Tag: I am going to hell...
Would it Matter if CelestAI Kept Discord?
Based on Would it Matter, the Equestria Online stories, and Keepers of Discord.
Give me a minute to come up with a plot . . .
After being taken on a trip across the Multiverse, Fluttershy (who is not a changeling) asks Discord if he ever wanted to visit Equestria Online. Turns out he did, fell in love, got bored, and left.
. . . Yeah, can't think of anything better at the moment.
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I don't mean to nitpick, but is this supposed to be "meant"? I probably shouldn't be bothering you about this, but I want to make sure the quotes I'm recording are grammatically correct.
Also, Twilight's Bathroom is Made of Pandas sounds amazing. I really hope you have the time to take it on.
4419773
I have to know, but my search-fu is weak...
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You really don't need to know. Trust me on this. I wish I didn't know.
I wish I had decent ideas, but I avoid the weirdly-titled stories so I don't even remember many of them... I know Past Sins, of course, and I've HEARD of Cupcakes and Rainbow Factory, but no way I've touched them. Unfortunately I'm pretty sure I've heard something of the titles (AND ONLY THE TITLES, I SWEAR, I DIDN'T EVEN READ DESCRIPTIONS) that FanOfMostEverything was referencing...how did that even happen??
Title: Princess Luna wants everypony to stop staring at her boner.
Summary: Princess Luna realizes she made a mistake when she was raising the moon last night. It's in the wrong place in the sky, and she asks everyone to please not look until she has an opportunity to correct her mistake. In her own, slightly archaic way.
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I am spared having any idea what FanOfMostEverything is referencing to, though in my case it is more inadvertently, because the mature filter is stuff permenantly off for me. (For reasons which no-one has been able to unravel). So I couldn't scar myself mentally even if I wanted to...
...
Actually, apropros of the trolling story, in a bizarre twist of fate, I think, I think i actually WROTE one that would count: Mourning Sickness. (Presuming you extend "title" to "summary.")
The summary is 100% truthful. Albiet Dungeon Master's truthful[1].)]
(The tags are, to quote Blackadder, a lie of sorts. But I did ask permission to lie about the tags, since it was published on April Fool's...)
[1] I.e like when the PCs tell you their "detect trap" roll and you say, with absolute truthfulness "you do not detect any traps." Which is entirely not the same thing as "there are no traps."
4419811 I feel obligated to inform you that I am the creator of The Uranusverse group. You know, just in case.
4419970 that story idea is great!
So are you going to make it?
What is the release date?
Or your not going to commit?
And sorry for all the questions.
It is an bad habit, I say.
And if you need anything, I have suggestions!
Or not. They might not be any good,okay!~
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Really? I thought it was Obs.
I'm gonna blame him anyways.
Can I add my story, even though it's part of a collection?
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I added this idea to my list of things that I probably should never write but eventually will anyways. Unless someone else does first, of course.
4420002 Sure. I made the group only because no one else did. I don't think anyone noticed.
4419896 This is the most terrible idea yet.
Write it please for comedy
Anon Gets Hot and Bothered in Bed With the CMC.
Wherein a pony named Anon (another of the hourglass cutie marks, a scheduling specialist for Luna) is put in charge of a Filly Scouts Jamboree. It is the middle of aummer, and too hot for restless kids to sleep, so they keep getting up and engaging in hijinks. After they manage to terrify each other with ghost stories, she finally parks them in her bed so they'll simmer down and stop making her chase them around the camp to get them back in bed.
Would It Matter if Fluttershy Was a Sherman Tank?
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This is where you need veteran Paranoia players.
"Okay, I'll make the Security Systems roll for you, behind the screen." *clatter* "You are completely certain there is no surveillance in this area." *smile* "Completely. Certain."
"...we're @#$%ed."
On a lesser note, I just got my first-ever retweets! I've not-arrived!
Not by me but from an anonymous contributor over my shoulder:
Fallout: Equestria: the Nightmare Returns
Synopsis: Pinkie Pie thought she had dealt with the unfounded rumors concerning her and Mr. Cake, once and for all. But the rumors won't die, and pop up in gossip all over Ponyville once again, Pinkie enlists the aid of her friends to deal with the fallout.
4420653 ... and the unfounded rumors were, of course, that they put a bun in the oven together. But no, Pinkie insists - Mrs. Cake must have the proper credit for those magnificent cinnamon rolls!
4419970
That sounds like a boner worthy of Batman's attention!
dialbforblog.com/archives/136/boner_7.gif
I Need to Get Out of Equestria Before These Sissy Ponies Kill Me
A griffin thief, having stolen something from a pair of sisters, is having a hell of a time getting it past customs. And they just know that every minute they spend trying to fast-talk their way past the border patrol, those two girls are getting closer.
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what references are packed into that title? i cannot decode it.
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The title is supposed to lead you to assume a standard Human in Equestria setup with one of those annoying edgy protagonists who feels like he's too cool for all this ponies and friendship stuff. Not a reference to a specific fic, but I've seen several that fit that mold.
I had an idea along these lines, probable title would be something along the lines of The Horrible Secret of the Rainbow Factory.
In the Three Tribes Era, Pegasi had trouble disposing of their dead. You can't bury somepony in clouds, any fire hot enough to cremate a corpse would vaporize clouds first, and to bury Pegasi in the earth like dirt ponies was of course unacceptable. So they came up with a solution, a combination of alchemy and weather magic that rendered the corpses of their dead down into a liquid, which could then be cast from the clouds to dissolve into the air in smears of color. Fast forward many centuries, and you have the modern system, where every day wagonloads of pegasus corpses are brought to the Rainbow Factories in Cloudsdale and the other great sky cities, there to be rendered down into the raw Spectra from which rainbows are made. This isn't a secret as such, but it's not something that comes up in casual conversation because... well, dead bodies aren't a thing you talk about casually.
The plot would be a standard Silly Twilight Freakout, where she hears about this in passing, and freaks out, thinking that this is some terrible secret. Perhaps she could misunderstand something somepony says, and come to the conclusion that Spectra is made from culling the flightless, as in the original Rainbow Factory story. Maybe Fluttershy could say something about having been afraid of "being made into rainbows" when she was having trouble in flight camp, meaning that she was afraid she'd crash and die. Or perhaps the "foal culling" is a popular conspiracy theory among certain ground ponies, and Twilight hears it from the Flower Trio or something. Either way, that sets up the possibility of a prolonged conversation with Rainbow Dash wherein neither side is quite clear enough (as both are using kind of vague language), and we have Twilight horrified by how casual Rainbow is about the slaughter of innocent foals (potentially including Scootaloo!) while Rainbow is baffled as to why Twilight thinks rendering the bodies of the dead down into rainbow juice is that much more ghoulish than burying or cremating them.
Not sure I have the time or writing chops to pull this one off, so if anyone wants to take a shot at it they should feel free!