Malozi and his rules about following. · 1:57am Jan 4th, 2017
_____I have a very specific criteria for following people that I kept meaning to get to. So I may as well do it already. I'll start off with preferences first.
_____1. I like and prefer it that people follow me because they like me or because they like reading my stories. I won't complain, but I like to earn my followers. Who can't say that feels nice to have someone say they followed you because they liked your story/stories?
_____2. If you follow me just because I followed you, I will retract my follow immediately. Feel free to do the same. This pretty much goes hand in hand with the above rule. If you want to follow me, please do so based on my merit. I don't want my follow to feel like it's been rewarded because I followed you. Feels disingenuous.
_____Instant disqualification or why I will unfollow someone:
_____1. A user is banned. If I am following that person and then they are banned, I will unfollow them. There are obvious exceptions. Such as a requested ban and not because said user broke the rules, and as long as that user will come back.
_____2. A user mysteriously disappears for more than two weeks without a trace or warning. If I don't see some kind of blog post or something, I'm just going to assume the worst, which is death. If the user DOES come back, I'll most likely follow them again but there can be complications, (see below). Needless to say, a user that is already gone for this period of time is not eligible to be followed.
_____Other unsorted reasons:
_____1. I hate odd numbers, except for the number one and anything ending in five. This means that, even if I want to follow someone, I won't do so until I find someone else to follow to make the number of people I follow an even number.
_____2. Because I hate odd numbers, if I unfollowed someone because they disappeared and they came back, it's likely that I had to fill up that spot to make it an even number. So you're either stuck waiting for me to find a worthy person to follow, or someone else must be sacrificed. Exceptions are anything ending in five, as I said before.
_____3. Following me increases your chances of eventually being followed back. But never assume it guarantees this. EVER.
_____4. I try to keep the number of people I follow to 1/10th of my followers or below. So keep that in mind.
_____5. Compliments really won't get you anywhere. Funny thing me and compliments. I was told I have a nice smile. So I don't smile in pictures anymore.
_____6. Even if I'm fond of you I may not follow you for simple reasons. I just don't want to.
_____I will follow you if:
_____1. I really like you. And no, not in that way, obviously. It's difficult for me to feel that way in the first place. This is exemplified by the following rule.
_____2. We hold actual conversations and get to know each other. Whether you approach me or vice versa means one of us is taking the time to learn something about the other to some extent. This is difficult to pin down as conversations obviously vary. Though it's difficult for me to find double-meanings, I like to think I'm somewhat confident in my bullshit detector, which will go off if I suddenly get random PMs with people being nice to me. It may be difficult to anger me, but it's not hard to annoy me.
_____3. I like your stories, if you have any.
_____There's more, but then that'd be giving you guys an unfair advantage.
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How about a shameless attempt at bribery?
Also, I found you a new picture?
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Needless to say I'd merely frown at such attempts. But then again, it's flattering to know that someone wants to bribe me for such a thing.
Oh God I—hold on *puts finger to neck*—yeah, I still have a pulse.
4368321 Now I want a unicorn cat.
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I had to send Luna to the moon.
4368391 I feel like this blog is more like a peace treaty between two warring nations.
Well, time for me do something I haven't done in awhile;
Well a lot of people have many followers and don't have any stories, I mean this is fair point but how the fuckery does some other users get many followers for just reading blogs! Castok does not like it when people follows fools and their blogs and not people's stories.
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Or they are at war? Or lost in the wild? Or perhaps they're plotting with evil people to steal our colas, which I will not let that happen!
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You heard him, odd numbers are not on list, so go back to the odd people that writes odd fanfics for people with odd fetishes
Wha? Then what the hell am I making this?! I like seeing people smile, and no I didn't quote Pinkie she quoted me!
Ah fuck I knew there was a catch here. Conversations, I'm terrible with words but at least I have a keyboard in case I said something wrong, which sometimes is all the time
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This was hilarious! Several things are the same for me as well... several, some aren't enacted yet. I hope to get around to your stories sometime... soonish to see if they are any good. Just look for my comment, it will say what I have read.
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Glad I could make you laugh.
Fluttershy the Trophy Wife is statistically my best story and probably what I would recommend. Wrath of the Harbinger is getting a rewrite in the first four chapters but if you can get through those, chapters 5 and 6 are an improvement.