Merry Christmas Lyler is here to- OMGH IS MIEK TURN · 6:26pm Dec 25th, 2016
Autumn crawls up the bed towards you, biting her bottom lip. She moves up past your leg, kissing up your che-
"HALLO PREST."
Flutterpriest quite literally leaps out of his chair as he believes he's hearing voices.
"Okay," he says to himself. "I think I've officially snapped. It must be the holiday pressure."
He moves to his dresser and begins to fumble through papers.
"Where was the phone number to that shrink that work gave me? I knew I would need it eventually."
"PREST! I AM IN UR HEED."
Flutterpriest looks up to the mirror, and sees a lime-green mare with a dis-sheveled mane. He moves a hand to his forehead, then turns around to see his original character sitting on his bed next to his laptop.
"WHUT ARE WE GONNA DU ON DA BED PERST."
"Same thing we do every night, Lyler. Play Overwatch and put off Office Love."
"NU," she says simply. "U ARE SO CLOSE. JUST WRITE IT U FAGET."
The mid-twenties nerd moves back to his chair and stares blankly at his laptop. He looks back to the clear hallucination, then back to the screen.
"There's something to be said about listening to the voices in your head."
"BUT I AM GUD VOICE!"
"You drink bleach," he says flatly at his creation
"IT TASTES NUMMY."
Then, a horrible, terrible idea runs through his head. Flutterpriest looks up at Lyler, then back to the screen.
"Hey, Lyler. Want to give some advice? I remember Flammen-er- Stella doing it once. And I think she had a lot of fun with it."
"STELLAR!" Lyler screams in delight, leaping onto the computer. The computer is unharmed, because Lyler isn't real. Priest just stares in borderline amazement.
"I suppose there are worse things to have as a tulpa," he mutters to himself.
"I AM BEST WAIFU."
"Sure, Lyler," he says as he navigates to Fimfiction in a new tab and opens a blog post.
Lyler begins to hammer at the keys with her hooves.
"Do you really have to type in all caps?" he asks the crazed mare.
"OH RIGHT I CAN USE CAPSLOCK THANKS."
"No, I mean," Flutterpriest sighs, realizing he's making a terrible mistake. "Why do you have to scream everything, even in text?"
"ITS JUST MY STYLE PROIST. YOU KNOW HOW WRITERS ARE. WE HAVE STYLE THINGS WE JUST DO. LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO STAY IN ONE TENTS."
Priest opens his mouth, then closes it. He pulls out his phone and opens a text to Anonpencil.
'Even my own OC is bashing my writing now. I think I'm going crazy.'
He pauses as Lyler hits "Post Blog" and Priest watches his phone for a response. Then Pencil's reply pops on screen.
'Haha. Office Love when.'
"I'm not sure what I expected," he mutters to himself.
"I MAEK POEST," Lyler screams.
"Good. If this goes well, I'll make you a twitter."
"WEEELEEE?!"
"No."
Twilight_the_spy: HOEW YEU TIYEP SU GUOD? PUREASE RELEES YEUR TRIX
SOEMTIEMS I HAVE TROUBLE SEEING DA KEYS I PRUS. SO I USE THE EYES TO HIT. THEN I ALWES HAVE RPEFECT SPELLUIGN.
Enigmatic Otaku: Lyler, what is love?
SOMETIMES A MOMMYAND A DADDT OVE EACH OTHERVERY MUSH SO THEY SPICE IT UP IB THE BEDROOM WITH ANAL
Stardust Survivor: Where do babies come from. Tell us your insight Lylers?
I KNOW THIS ONE! I KNOOOOOOOWWWWWW THIS ONE! MOMMY AND DADDY TOLD ME! THE BUTT! IM THEIR BUTT BABY.
Venates: Who was your English teacher and how close to retirement were they
YOU MISSED QUESTION MARK BUT IS OK BECAUSE SOMTIMES QUESTIONS ARE BETTR NAWT ANSWERS. I MISS POOPING ON THEFLOOR SOMETIES. LYRA TERCHED ME ALL I MNOW
Ravvij: If tendies are made from chickens, does that make Scootaloo the most adorable tendie?
SCOOTALOO IS A PONY NOT A TENDIE EVEN IF SHE IS ORANGE. I TRIED BITING HER LEG ONCE AND SHE JUST SCREAMED AND I HAD TO HIDE FOR A WEEK IN AA TRASHCAN. I FOUND CADANCE IT WAS NIC.
Noise-Marine-Connor: Does Mike Wazowski blink or wink?
PROIST WAT IS A WAZOSKI
Priest looks over from writing Office Love, and then sighs. he pulls up google in a tab and shows Lyra who Mike Wa-
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Narlepoax III: WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE?
CHICKEN TENDIES, MY BEST FWIEND ANERN, AND BIRFING BOOM BOOM.
CrashBashDash: How do you think I should follow my dreams, but not so hard for something bad to happen, but seriously how should I follow my dreams?
WITH GPS THE LADY VOICE IS VERY NICE.
Pickleless: GIV ME THE FACTS MINITURE WHORSE.
THE FACTS ARE THESE: ARNERN IS MY BEST FWIEND. TENDIES MAKE MY TUMMY HAPPY. LYRA LOVES ME VERY MUSH AND I will never see my parents again.
...
SunnySideJerk: My wisdom teeth got removed yesterday. All four of them. How to stop red squirties?
I THINK IF YOU PUT BANDIES ON THEM TEN YOU NO BLEED NO MORES IS WHAT LYRA DO FOR ME. I LIKETHE ONES WITH PANDERS ON THEM.
Not A Weeb BAKA: How do you revive a dead meme?
PRIST WHAT IS A MEM.
Priest looks over again, thoroughly frustrated.
"Memes are what happens when everyone likes a joke so much that they beat it to death."
Lyler looks down at the screen.
WITH A E S THER T I C
Vertigo22: Why is it that, whenever I jump off of a high place, I fall to the ground? I try to flap my arms, but I can never fly.
YOU NED TO BELIEV IN URSELF. LIKE THAT ADOLF GUY WHO PRIEST SAYS DID NOTHING WR-
Let's go to the next question Lyler.
Thatotherotherguy: DOES BLEACH DRINK GOOD?
IT GIVES THE DIAHEREERS BUT IS BURNIER THAN EVRECLER
DonDaGuido: Hi Lyler, how is you?
HOOVES R SWEETY, KNEES PINK BUTT IS ITCHY, MOM'S SPAGHETTI.
Tony Montana: If I gave you a huge red button and told you not to press it, would you press-
I ALREADY PUSH WHAT NEXT.
Best thing you ever ate?
I HAVE NEVER FOUND CHICK TENDIES AS CRUNCHY AS GLASS AND IT MAKES ME SAD.
Will you force Priest to get back to writing Office Love?
He is try very hard so i will be quite for him for today.
Do you talk in an Australian accent frequently?
NO AM OFFENSIVE WHN DO. WHO WOULD DO DIS
Office Love later today.
I'm terrified I understood all that.
My brain hurts now... But it's too early here to drink my pain away. I guess copious amounts of holiday treats and coffee will have to do.
This is the best worst christmas gift
Lyler pls. If u liyk chik tendies u shud tri chik nuggers
Seems legit. Carry on carrying on, my special friend!
-muffled happy screaming-
LYLER! THE CHICKENS HAVE COME TO MAKE WAR ON UR BEDSHEETS!