HALLLOW WORL. IZ LYLERS · 5:57am Dec 23rd, 2016
MY BEST FRIEND STELLER (lol is name of her story) DID BLOGGIES ON ADDVICE. SHE SAY I SHOULD GIB ADVIS TO MY BES FWRENDS.
SO. I WHEEL MAKE BLOG ANSWREENG ALL UR QUESTRIONS DIS WEAKEDN. ASK ME EVERRYHIGN
Autumn crawls up the bed towards you, biting her bottom lip. She moves up past your leg, kissing up your che-
"HALLO PREST."
Flutterpriest quite literally leaps out of his chair as he believes he's hearing voices.
"Okay," he says to himself. "I think I've officially snapped. It must be the holiday pressure."
He moves to his dresser and begins to fumble through papers.
"Where was the phone number to that shrink that work gave me? I knew I would need it eventually."
"PREST! I AM IN UR HEED."
Flutterpriest looks up to the mirror, and sees a lime-green mare with a dis-sheveled mane. He moves a hand to his forehead, then turns around to see his original character sitting on his bed next to his laptop.
"WHUT ARE WE GONNA DU ON DA BED PERST."
"Same thing we do every night, Lyler. Play Overwatch and put off Office Love."
"NU," she says simply. "U ARE SO CLOSE. JUST WRITE IT U FAGET."
The mid-twenties nerd moves back to his chair and stares blankly at his laptop. He looks back to the clear hallucination, then back to the screen.
"There's something to be said about listening to the voices in your head."
"BUT I AM GUD VOICE!"
"You drink bleach," he says flatly at his creation
"IT TASTES NUMMY."
Then, a horrible, terrible idea runs through his head. Flutterpriest looks up at Lyler, then back to the screen.
"Hey, Lyler. Want to give some advice? I remember Flammen-er- Stella doing it once. And I think she had a lot of fun with it."
"STELLAR!" Lyler screams in delight, leaping onto the computer. The computer is unharmed, because Lyler isn't real. Priest just stares in borderline amazement.
"I suppose there are worse things to have as a tulpa," he mutters to himself.
"I AM BEST WAIFU."
"Sure, Lyler," he says as he navigates to Fimfiction in a new tab and opens a blog post.
Lyler begins to hammer at the keys with her hooves.
"Do you really have to type in all caps?" he asks the crazed mare.
"OH RIGHT I CAN USE CAPSLOCK THANKS."
"No, I mean," Flutterpriest sighs, realizing he's making a terrible mistake. "Why do you have to scream everything, even in text?"
"ITS JUST MY STYLE PROIST. YOU KNOW HOW WRITERS ARE. WE HAVE STYLE THINGS WE JUST DO. LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO STAY IN ONE TENTS."
Priest opens his mouth, then closes it. He pulls out his phone and opens a text to Anonpencil.
'Even my own OC is bashing my writing now. I think I'm going crazy.'
He pauses as Lyler hits "Post Blog" and Priest watches his phone for a response. Then Pencil's reply pops on screen.
'Haha. Office Love when.'
"I'm not sure what I expected," he mutters to himself.
"I MAEK POEST," Lyler screams.
"Good. If this goes well, I'll make you a twitter."
"WEEELEEE?!"
"No."
HOEW YEU TIYEP SU GUOD?
PUREASE RELEES YEUR TRIX
Lyler, what is love?
Where do babies come from. Tell us your insight Lylers.
Who was your English teacher and how close to retirement were they
If tendies are made from chickens, does that make Scootaloo the most adorable tendie?
4351901
What is love... baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me... no more...~
4351916 We were all thinking it... but you HAD to go and say it. Why do you acknowledge him?
4351919
Because fuck you, that's why!
Does Mike Wazowski blink or wink?
WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE?
GIV ME THE FACTS MINITURE WHORSE.
My wisdom teeth got removed yesterday. All four of them. How to stop red squirties?
How do you revive a dead meme?
4351985
Put tongue on top of red squirtsies.
4351985 Stuff some cotton-balls in your mouth temporarily.
Why is it that, whenever I jump off of a high place, I fall to the ground? I try to flap my arms, but I can never fly.
DOES BLEACH DRINK GOOD?
It took me to read all of the commented questions to figure out this was a Lyler thing. Why didn't I look at the title?
Anyway, my question is... wait for it... wait for it... not secretly trying to think of a question as I type...
Hi Lyler, how is you?
"10/10 Best Question - IGN"
If I gave you a huge red button and told you not to press it, would you press it? You would end up launching the entire Russian nuclear arsenal towards Equestria if you pressed it.
Best thing you ever ate?
Will you force Priest to get back to writing Office Love?
Do you talk in an Australian accent frequently?