Story Review: Differences: By the Dashie (The Last Two Chapters)

Okaaaayy, it's time for another review (Gee, thanks for all the suggestions guys.) But seriously, no offence, after my last review and probably this one (Fair warning in advance) I can understand if you don't want your favorite story torn to shreds. But anyways, here's the story I'll be reviewing

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/102519/differences

This time around, I'll be doing something a bit different. I'll actually be reviewing two chapters, specifically the very last two, as those are the two that interested (And peeved me off) the most.

Yeah, that level of peeved. Why, you may ask? Well, first you need a bit of background. To begin with, Spike learns that Twilight doesn't really care for him at all (Oh boy... Here we go.) First problem with the story and I haven't even reached what I wanted to reach. Twilight does care for Spike and doesn't treat him like a slavedriver for Pete's sake. Already, this story is coming off like one of those fics by those "True Spike Fans" who think Spike is mistreated is neglected in the show ad just want to whine about it in a mouthpiece fic. Then, Spike meets up with Derpy, whom he learns Twilight thinks is not a smart mare all because of her eyes and clumsiness. Now I ask you, does that sound like the Twilight we know from the show. NO! Then they meet up with Lyra, who's been outcasted because of her obsession with humans. A band of misfits, if you will. Derpy suggests they meet up with Tim-Sorry, the Doctor. They do so, and also team up with Discord, Master of Chaos and creator of mischief. After sharing their sad pasts, Discord having being rejected and shunned by Celestia for no good reason at all, all just because the author wants Celestia to be evil. And she only gets worse as the fic goes on. Just fuck me now, and I don't mean that in the good way.

Flash forwards a few chapters, after going to Bronycon and telling us, and by that I mean the fans and creators and voice actors of the show that Celestia banished us from our true home out of pure selfishness and bigotry. (Again, just because we want evil Celestia here. Do I really need to point out the huge OOCness in Celestia's characterization here? Hello, Princess Celestia, the pony who is the epitome of kindness (Sorry Fluttershy) and who was once said by a fellow Brony "That your mother should be a Princess Celestia", and my mom is to me. Anyways, back on topic. The Doc takes the TARDIS back to Equus with the revolution's Brony army.

Okay, admittedly that is actually a pretty cool idea, despite Tara Strong denying it. WE KNOW THE TRUTH!

Er, sorry. Anyways, Spike and company are met up with by the Princesses and the Mane Six who have amassed an army of their own, but after Spike tells the truth about what Celestia did, Luna joins the revolution's side and does so and in a... (Strains to get the words out) Alright, pretty cool way by saying and I quote directly here:

"No, sister. We are supporting TRUE harmony. If that is wrong, then may we be damned, but we will stand against this cruelty. Had we known that these humans had met the fate they did, we would have done the same thing sooner. We used to believe that you had truly wanted us home, but it seems that we are not the only ones banished."

Seems we have a Lunar Republican here. Oh joy. Anyways, the Elements are tried and failed, because Spike's revolution is not truly evil and so a new way to end this conflict is suggested.

"So how do you suggest we do this? How do we end this conflict?"

"A small conflict. One champion from each position. Spike will be his champion and you may choose..."

"I choose myself! Now fight me, dragon!" Celestia shouted, which followed by her charging right at me, her body encased in a funnel of fire."

Luna, covered in a funnel of shadow, blocked Celestia from her target, which in this case was me. "How barbaric, sister. Trying to destroy a young dragon willing to fight, and even die to be free of oppression. Not to mention fighting for equality for others."

"I will do whatever it takes to keep the order I have worked so hard to obtain, and not you, nor Spike, nor anypony else is going to stop me!" She looked down at me, which was about a 20 feet distance stare, and glared at me. "You poor excuse for a dragon! Do you want to know why I really banished the humans? They were interacting with my little ponies! Do you know what that might lead to? Interbreeding! Pony-human hybrids running around the place as if it's perfectly normal. I didn't want that, so I sent them away. Do you feel satisfied knowing that?"

"Yes I do, but I still wish to fight, if not for the sake of fighting, then for an honor bound debt. I made a promise I would rise against the forced that were pressing me down and I will. I am fighting for my friends, for the humans you banished, and mainly for my promise to Der..." I couldn't believe my eyes. My heart shattered as I saw a sight I would never have guessed or even wanted to imagine. Standing by Celestia's forces was Derpy, Lyra, The Doctor, and Discord. The ponies and human that once stood by me were now changing their sides right in front of me. "Derpy? Lyra? Doctor? Discord? What are you doing over there? What happened to fighting the princesses' tyranny?"

Derpy was the first to respond. "Spike, what you said on the TARDIS really told us something. This isn't about the princesses, or even about us, your friends...It's about you. It was from the start. Sure we weren't treated as well as the other ponies were, but we still were able to carry on. It wasn't until you came and started to talk about a revolution that we really cared about what the princesses did. We were able to live normal lives, until you went haywire and started to use us to solve our problems. I'm sorry, Spike, but I won't be a part of your plans."

"Neither will I."

"Nor will I."

"You may fight for equality, but I will not be a part in a killer's schemes."

Celestia chuckled at this. "You see, Spike? Even your allies believe you shouldn't do this. Why not stop this futile effort and quit?

Luna quickly discouraged the idea. "No, Spike! Fight onward! Remember the people you are fighting for!"

Looks like Spike is left without the ponies and Master of Chaos he started this revolution to begin with all because Spike has gone off the deep end (It may not look like it yet, but he has, trust me) and his friends he once made have now been lost all because of his selfish ambitions and with his only ally left now being Luna.

If we want to play this be the book, then by the laws of war in Equestria, I declare the fight unclear and hearby take advantage. You have not yet chosen a legitimate champion for your side, so I get to choose one for myself. The champion I choose to fight will be...Princess Twilight Sparkle! I also am allowed to choose the weapon with which we fight. I may have heard it from the humans but I trust them enough to use it. my weapon of choice is...lightsabers!" Discord used his magic to bring such things into existence. It looked like a cylinder of metal, but as I pushed a red button, a green sliver of light protruded from a hole in it. It was truly a saber made of light. Twilight's saber was a solid purple, fitting her purple color scheme. She used her magic to allow herself to stand upright on to legs. This would have been a disadvantage for me, but I soon found myself feeling magic's touch upon me. I looked at Luna and saw that the full extent of her magic was keeping Celestia at bay. I looked around and saw that no horn was lit except those of Twilight, Luna, and Celestia. This unknown magic confused me, but I then heard a call from a female human saying, "We believe in you, Spike. We always did." It was their love and affections towards me that spawned this new magic; the Magic of Belief. They truly believed in me, which gave me the ability to use magic of my own. I used this magic to give me the knowledge that the humans had of how to use a lightsaber. Twilight only gave a cocky smirk.

"I'm sorry it has to end this way, Spike, but I will be glad to be the one to satisfy your pains."

"How ironic that your also the one that started them." Her smirk went away, and as it did a quiet and lonely voice cried,

"Duel of the Fates!"

and yet, more and more, it got louder and stronger as the chant went on. "Duel of the Fates! Duel of the Fates!" I did not understand any reference, if there was any, but this truly would be...a duel of the fates.

Well, okay, Lightsabers. Why not? (Because it's cool, that's why, even if it makes no sense whatsoever.) Can I just point something out here, if you're going to give a character powers or a almighty weapon, give them something that actually makes sense in the universe. Unless this took place in the Star Wars universe or this story was completely off the rails random... well, more off the rails than it already is, Lightsabers have no place in MLP. Anyways, Spike versus Twilight. Master VS "Servant". Cue the music!

The sounds coming from my light based blade were enough to unsettle anypony that was not used to them. The sense of battle was also unsettling. For a minute or two, all that occurred was Twilight and myself staring each other down and the bronies chanting "Duel of the Fates!" in succession. Their chanting did die down, but it was only replaced by a new chant; one of a more...musical...nature. The way it sounded was gibberish, but it gave out a sense that the fight should commence; a song of battle. It sounded a lot like...

Korah. Matah. Korah. Rahtahmah.

and continued with a steady but low beat. It filled me with power; filled me with a longing to fight, and so I gave in to my longing. With a purposeful roar, I charged full speed at Twilight, my blade at my side;her doing the same, and upon reaching her, our blades met at last. Screeching and sparking like fire, we were locked in a hold; a test of power. We separated, only to clash again. The bronies that were not chanting were cheering. The feeling of battle, which I had not felt before, was intoxicating. It could only be described as intoxicating, as the cadence and rhythm of our parries become almost metronomic. One stance after another. Another fixture of holding the sword only to be countered by the other's. Clash after clash. We could not best the other. Only tire them out. The duel of the fates become more than that. It become a duel of determination; of who's will was stronger. The first to tire would be the first to fall; I just hope it wouldn't be me. Purple and green struck each other countless times. I thought it would never end.

We had been clashing for what seemed like hours when I felt it. The unrelenting power inside me. Most would have called it cheating as the field on which we battled had changed. I called it Lady Justice's way of telling me to win, and giving me a gift to help me do so. That's right. My wings finally came! They weren't some puny baby wings you would expect for new wings. They were size-proportional, dragon-sized, strength-filled wings. With these new wings, I was able to take the field by advantage. She did have wings, yes, but even after having them for five years, she had still used magic to get around. Those wings became only a symbol to her; a symbol which defined her as royalty. Next thing I see is Twilight looking at me in shock and as I looked closer she was...crying. My foe, which at this point was fighting me to the death, had realized her demise. "Ha! You see, Twilight? Wings aren't so bad. Maybe you should have learned to use yours." What she said next both moved me and shocked me.

"I'm so proud of you, Spike."

"What?! Is that what you have to say? Draw your sword, Twilight! Let's finish this! You may be proud of me, but I'm not. I'm just a lowly dragon in a society of ponies. This is my time to prove I can be a dragon. This is my time when I...will...rise!" and with a thundering roar, I charged at her head-long, willing to risk it all to prove myself. I struck with ferocity, unrelenting in every blow I delivered. She was not even trying to gain ground, she was only parrying my blows. She was trying to tire me out, letting me give it my all, then as soon as I stopped she would strike. I broke from my assault, panting as I had put everything into my blows. "I see your tricks, Twilight. Anger me then chop me down once I cool. Very clever."

"I wasn't attempting that, but it could have worked. Spike, why are you so mad?"

"You bitch! The fact that you have the gall to ask me that shows how naïve you are. You are the reason I am mad! The fact that you have treated me like a slave all these years. Who wrote your letters? Me! Who cleaned your house? Me! Who did a lot of your chores when you were a filly? Me! Who did all that, Twilight? I did! Alone! You thanked me only when my duties were public, and you never once thanked me if your friends weren't around, and ever since you became a princess, you haven't even been speaking to me. What am I to you, Twilight? Am I just your little servant? Your little Spikey-Wikey that you can get away with pushing around? Well, let me do a little report of my own. Dear Twilight, he died years ago, five to be exact! You showed me kindness and cherishment, yes, but only so that I didn't see what you were really doing: buttering me up to so that I would serve you forever."

"You seem to know everything Spike. Tell me, have you forgotten that I was the one that hatched you; the one that gave you life?"

"Ha! You didn't give me life. You only cracked my shell. The one who gave me life was my mother, my real mother, who I was stole from by your princess. Have you ever thought about that, Twilight? I could been a regular dragon, with dragon friends and a dragon family, possibly a dragon girlfriend, living a dragon life. I could have had all that, but you tore that away from me. Now do you know why I am mad? Your kind has never seen my kind with respect or kindness. It's about high time I did something about it."

"Am I the bane of your existence then? Well then, let me finish my job!" With this she charged at me, blade ready to kill me, but she fell short of her goals, as with quick reflexes, I had pierced her in the stomach. I looked...and she looked and we knew the deed was done. She fell grasping her gut, trying to stay alive for as long as possible. The other Bearers of the Elements did not waste a second as they all came charging at me head long, and in what I can only describe as a dragonic rage, I cut them all down, one by one. Each was mercilessly carved. Dying as they came in range. Once I awoke from this rage, I saw before me six dead ponies, each of which I had a special connection to. I only stood in shock of my actions. "What have I done? They weren't supposed to die. They were just supposed to see that I didn't plan to take any more of Twilight. They weren't supposed to die. Nooooooooooooooooooo!"

So, after an epic battle, Spike takes down his "Slavedriver" and in his dragon fueled rage (Sorry, what I should be calling it would be the Dark Side, cause that's what this really is) also takes down the rest of the Elements as well. And do you know what the Doctor does about all of this. Absolutely NOTHING at all! And that's what peeves me off the most. The Doctor, the one I know, he wouldn't just stand around in the background doing absolutely nothing while Spike turns into Darth Draconic here. He would try and stop the conflict, because that's what he is, a peacemaker, the man who stops the monsters. And that's what Spike has become.

I'm sorry, but when a character does nothing to stop a villain even when there is a very good reason he should, he loses all sense of sympathy. At least when other heroes in movies fail to stop a villain, they had their reasons, like say being broken so badly by a speech or losing a comrade in such a way that they lose all sense of hope I can understand it, but here, nope, none of that. ...Wait, sorry I'm a bit wrong here. In an earlier moment, the Doc said this moment is time locked and that he cannot change the outcome even when he knew what it was. So if that's true, why the Hell did he get involved in the damn first place? I'm sorry Doctor, but you've become a villain yourself by not stopping a monster before he got started and killed all his friends. So, all because of that, the ruining of at least four character's personalities, this fic fails epically on so many levels. And you know what disappoints me the most? This comment, this comment right here from one of my favorite authors on the site, APoeticHeart and the man who first got me on the path to writing MLP fics in the first place.

Well, that was a shocking development, but Spike striking down all of the Mane Six, epic! I knew Twilight didn't care about Spike, and all she cared about was who was the one who hatched him, but didn't care one bit about his feelings.

I'm sorry, but Spike striking down all the Mane Six is not epic at all. It's heartbreaking, and shows Spike's gone off the deep end and become a Sith Lord. To hear a comment like that from one of my favorite authors and have him actually think this story is good really is like a punch to the gut. I'm sorry, PoeticHeart, but you just lost a bit of respect from me.

Okay, after all that, I think I need something good to read. And speaking of that, and of APoeticHeart, next week, I'll be reviewing one of his stories, and for once, not making snarky comments or reviewing a Badfic. Till then, cheers!