Commentary: Envy

Sorry that this took a bit, my five readers, but finals are happening and at the moment I've got an essay due tomorrow about my world views. Hooray, procrastinating! Also I know that I said that I'd try and minimize the blog posts but I've got a lot to say about this chapter.

At the moment, I'm currently exposed to Dishonored, Ulysses, and Ergo Proxy, so if you see anything that makes you go, "Hey, this totally reads/feels like this!" that's why.

This chapter is the most talky and introspective one by the way, so if you absolutely abhor the long dialogues, don't worry, this'll be the biggest one that I've planned. However, dialogue and thoughts are still going to be an integral part to the story, so if they aren't up your alley, then you're probably going to have a bad time.

A lot of you are probably going to say, "Why is it a human protagonist, why couldn't it have been a pony, or a griffon, or even a dragon!" And to that I say, it's simply because that I feel more comfortable with a human protagonist. Yes, it's probably a bad reason but it's my reason. I can't really describe it, but I tend to gravitate towards stories that have humans as the main character. Yes, I have read a lot of awful fics, don't ask. Also, don't worry, I'll try to integrate his human aspects into the story, so it just doesn't feel that I threw a human as the main character just to throw in a human as the main character. Emphasis on try.

So HiE isn't a well liked genre, I'm aware of that. Sure, there are amazing ones (Through the Well of Pirene and Hope and Changeling are both great imo) but its still a turn off for many people. I think the reason for this is that when people hear "HiE" they translate it to "Self Insert", and honestly, please point me to a good, obvious self insert. But unfortunately for me, it's pretty much my most read, so I know most of the cliches that are in them. This knowledge I hope will help me avoid pitfalls that other writers fall into.

These pitfalls that I'm going to try and avoid are really simple ones.

1. The main character feeling like he barely has a personality. You don't think of him as the character and individual, "Jackson". The worst offender is greentext stories usually when the character feels so bland you could insert your name into him and think of Anon as yourself. I'm going to combat this by making Jackson do drastic decisions that make you think, "I wouldn't do that." Also not going to try to make him broody but I think I already failed with this chapter.

2. His interaction with characters, or more specifically canon characters. They either love or hate him. I don't know how I'm going to do on this, so call me out if I'm being a dip.

Leviathan was described as the demon of envy. People in this chapter feel envy. Boom, deepest chapter title.

Not sure if I mentioned but this is going to be the longest "arc" of four chapters. You could say that's not an arc but nah. Anyway, this arc I call, "First Encounters" for how his first few weeks of his journey goes. How many arcs are there? I dunno.

Also this chapter was edited by myself, so there you go. Criticism encouraged.

Shoutout to my boy Le Soldat Pony, and I'm still sad that he left. Anyway, mighty skies brought me some inspiration for this chapter. Anyways, everyone knows that:
Forward Only Forward>A wide eyed Cabin in the Woods>Beautiful Discord>Golden Eyes Sticky as Honey=Before These mIghty Skies>Luna Comes to Me in a Dream=A Train Between Canterlot and the Great Divide>Twilight Raises the Sun>La Maison Errante
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ycPuo2mMds

And I knew that there was something else I wanted to say. First of all, this could be seen as an extension of the Prologue as it still gives description to Jackson. 10,000 word intro. Fun.

Fair warning: There'll be a LOT of dicking around in the non-city lands before we start going in them. Also lots of OCs. Why you may ask? Well why would Twilight Sparkle be in some desolate town at the shore? Or Maud. Or whoever your waifu is. Don't worry, I won't go full edgelord.

Comments

[Ether Echoes]

So HiE isn't a well liked genre, I'm aware of that. Sure, there are amazing ones (Through the Well of Pirene and Hope and Changeling are both great imo)

D'aww~