Blog post about addiction · 4:15pm Nov 28th, 2016
I am addicted to procrasturbation. The ADHD medication I take that helps me function also increases my libido and ability to focus on one thing for a very long time. You do the math.
I can't remember if I posted this song before, but if I have, well now you know what it's about.
Facsimile Friends
Bryan Chandler
Verse
Gm F
Intoxicating: the high of sweet surrender to the fact that you'll inevitably fall
Eb. D(7)
And it's liberating: The allocating of the blame to games beyond our ken, above our pay, over the garden wall
Gm F
So frustrating: when your agency is stripped from you like just like a toddler’s vomit-covered clothes
Eb. D(7)
But it's Scintillating: there's no debating that you're gonna have a lovely time I guarantee you’ll loathe.
G(M) F
Cause when you're in the moment
Eb D
They can do no wrong
G F Eb
All that matters in that moment
Cm D(7)
Is wrapped around your head like a sarong
Chorus
Gm Dm
So tell me baby how does it feel
Eb
To finally feel like nothing inside
D Db Cm
To finally feel like everything’s died
Bb D/A Gm
But your facsimile friends?
D(M)
They’ll up you when you’re down,
Eb
They’ll realign your frown,
D Db C(M)
And when they’ve made their amends,
Bb D/A Gm
Then your facsimile ends.
Yeah tell me baby how does it feel,
To finally feel like nothing inside,
To finally feel like everything’s died
But your facsimile friends?
They’ll tell you right is wrong,
Beguile with siren song,
And when they've died for your sins,
Then your facsimile ends.
See those massive 20K plus chapters in Night?
My usual writing process for those was to distractedly switch between a googledoc and NSFW subreddits. I would just mindlessly scroll, then write some more, then scroll.
Good times.
Also, badass avatar.
4320752 Yeah, my problem is that every time I take a large dose of my meds to write or compose music, I just end up jacking off for 5 hours and not sleeping.
4320753
thanks
4320761 that actually sounds like it would feel really empty after awhile. Have you tried finding people to chat with in the margins? I know it helped work out the procrastination in a less lonely way
4320881 Oh it's completely empty, but it feels really good while I'm at it.