Plot Inconsistency · 10:37pm Oct 5th, 2016
Hey, you all. As I noted in one of my Author's Notes, there is a mistake in the plot that doesn't add up. I'm surprised more mistakes like this one haven't been made or seen yet. I'm an impulsive writer; I have no idea what I'm doing until it's done. Every chapter comes straight off the top of my head. While it keeps my imagination running and gives way to new ideas, this method of writing usually leads to plot errors, such as the one I'm about to show and correct.
So, in the chapter Saying Sorry Couldn't Be Any Harder, there's a lengthy portion about Sunset's past. In the paragraphs I'm about to show you is the original text about Sunset's father and mother.
"Dad had gotten his cart-carrier job back when he was a colt going through college to become a doctor. He would have become one but he couldn't pay for all of his classes and didn't dare try and get a loan. My mother never worked since she took care of her parents. But ever since they passed away when I was very little the support bits had dried up. She always tried to look for work but the thing is she had no experience. If we could get a solid 150 bits into our home every week, life would've been a lot better.
She was a painter and loved to depict nature in her artwork. Sadly, not many ponies had a need for paintings all the time. It was about once every 2-3 months that someone requested something and that would give us a nice 200 bits. My parents tried to save the bits, but so much was rundown that it eventually was spent.
Sunset sighed before continuing. "Mom and dad didn't spend much time with me as a filly. Dad was always working, begging for a measly bit while mom tried her best to advertise herself in towns all over. I pretty much grew up on my own and so, without anypony to correct my behavior, I became a bitter filly. I was sick of being so low in society that I could barely bring a lunch to school. I wanted to be powerful and live a luxurious life... And that's when I became obsessed with developing my magic. From what I knew from reading stories about Starswirl the Bearded, a very powerful stallion, being the best of the best got you places..."
This is all nice and dandy, however, the info about her dad isn't matching up to a previous chapter I released a little over a year ago. In the chapter General Vagueness , Sunset is forging school documents and a small bit about her parents comes into play.
Sunset carefully wrote in cursive the name 'Autumn Fall', making sure it looked different from her own handwriting, on the paper. She looped the letters delicately and made it look as perfect as she could. She then wrote 'Solar Flare' in her most carefree manner, darkening it with the force of her hand upon the pen.
She smiled sadly at the two names she had written on the paper. A bittersweet feeling rose from her chest. Sunset quickly wiped her eyes before tears could fall. Memories flooded her mind. She remembered back when she was an innocent filly, with no counts of wrong against her, she used to play with a big orange unicorn. His shoulders were strong and tough, his head full of rich red curls that laid this way and that. He had a stubbly chin of red hair and dark green eyes that would glow as he smiled and laughed and played with her. Sunset could almost hear his hearty laugh ring in her ears and the sweet, loving words he would say happily afterward.
"You're shimmering, my darling."
Her father...Solar Flare. He had been a royal Canterlot guard when she was last in Equestria. Captain of the Royal Guard actually. Sunset guessed he probably retired from the position by now; he would be in his early to mid 40's.
So now that you've read both excerpts, the question becomes "How did her father go from being a poor cart-carrier to Captain of the Royal Guard?" Because of this, I then changed the paragraph in Saying sorry Couldn't Be any Harder to something that worked.
"Dad had gotten his cart-carrier job back when he was a colt going through college to become a doctor. He would have become one but he couldn't pay for all of his classes and didn't dare try and get a loan. My mother never worked since she took care of her parents. But ever since they passed away when I was very little the support bits had dried up. She always tried to look for work but the thing is she had no experience. If we could get a solid 150 bits into our home every week, life would've been a lot better.
She was a painter and loved to depict nature in her artwork. Sadly, not many ponies had a need for paintings all the time. It was about once every 2-3 months that someone requested something and that would give us a nice 200 bits. My parents tried to save the bits, but so much was rundown that it eventually was spent. M-My father eventually decided to sign up for the Royal Guard. It was the only way we could earn more money without having to beg. My mother argued with him tirelessly not to saddle up with the army; she was scared of losing him and so was I. But he went on ahead anyway, saying that all guards were insured so if something happened... my mother and I would at least have some bits to live off of along with benefits..."
Sunset sighed before continuing. "Mom and dad didn't spend much time with me as a filly. Dad was always working while mom tried her best to advertise herself in towns all over. I pretty much grew up on my own and so, without anypony to correct my behavior, I became a bitter filly. I was sick of being so low in society that I could barely bring a lunch to school. I wanted to be powerful and live a luxurious life... And that's when I became obsessed with developing my magic. From what I knew from reading stories about Starswirl the Bearded, a very powerful stallion, being the best of the best got you places..."
So that's how I fixed this mistake. I want to thank AdverseFlower95 for pointing this out.
Thanks for following the development of You Can't Help Who You Love (lol).
