Birthday Bios: Lemon Lime · 8:55pm Sep 4th, 2016
I just remembered that he’s supposed to be elderly for the time being. Oops.
Anyway, I originally was going to name this guy Lemon Zest when I was writing the Canterlot arc of Brotherly Bonding Time last year (holy crap, I’ve been working on it that long?), but then Friendship Games happened and introduced a character with that exact name (said character was ultimately little more than a background character, but oddly fascinates me, which is weird because I’m not all that invested in background ponies). So, I went back and renamed him Lemon Lime, which I do kind of resent. But hey, double the sour fruit for this pony’s name, eh?
But anyway, let’s check out what I have to say about the Sandwiches’ great uncle.
Lemon Lime was the second foal of Citrus Wonder and Starfruit of the prestigious Fruit Clan of Canterlot, the family responsible for divine perfumes and lotions sold across Equestria. He was the ‘spare’ to his older sister Cucumber Melon’s ‘heir’.
From the moment he could walk, he tended to be a mischievous little colt. Anypony watching could just simply turn around, and the very next moment he was gone, climbing into the icebox to get some chocolate mousse or other fancy treat. He usually did that whenever he was all dressed up to go somewhere, frustrating his parents and the servants. He hated the little ‘foal fashion statements’ he was forced to wear, as he found them suffocating.
Even though he was only the second child, he had to be a little gentlecolt at all times, and abide by the adage of “foals should be seen and not heard”. No injecting childish thoughts into conversation, no making messes (especially not on his good clothes!), and no galloping around anywhere they visited. Both he and big sister Mel resented these things, but while Mel tried her best to not get in trouble, Lemon was going to fight it every step of the way, whether it be as small as his classic sour pout or as big as starting a food fight. And thus, he was placed in the time out room. A lot. He considered those his nap times.
Being left home with servants while their parents were out meant that he could get away with things more easily, though too big of a mess could lead to trouble. But, he was always happy for the chance to cut loose with his sister and play with her in a mostly normal way. They both relished any freedom they got.
Throughout both foalhood and adolescence, he was pretty much scowling whenever he was in the presence of some of their neighbors. No matter how nice they were, they talked about some of the most boring things on the planet, like fashion, politics, or whatever said neighbor bought during a mid-life crisis. Even any mare he dated was boring, as they usually talked about the same old things about fashion and complimenting his parents’ business. Some of his peers were boring too, but he at least managed to make them snicker at whatever prank he did. His mischief was essentially how he earned his cutie mark.
For the most part, he was just happy that he didn’t have to inherit the Fruit’s scent business empire, though he pitied his sister having all that pressure on her shoulders. Even as adults, he could see that she was uncomfortable with the suitors going for her hoof. He wished he could relieve Mel of at least some of it.
The family took a trip to Manehattan for a few weeks one time, and he was hoping that going to another city would be more exciting than his hometown, even if the trip just was for business. He was surprised to see how dirty it was, and how rude the hurried ponies were. Even the Manehattan elite seemed different, though he couldn’t quite put his hoof on it. In any case, he enjoyed seeing the sights and looking at life in a different town.
Of course, then his sister got separated from the group, and the family was in an uproar. They had servants look all around the main island, though they didn’t check any of the areas beyond the bridges because obviously Mel was not that stupid. It went on for about a day before Mel popped up at the hotel, safe and sound. She received a scolding for it, but Lemon Lime couldn’t help but be curious about where she went.
He was disappointed to learn that she had been hanging out at a simple pizzeria in a poorer part of town, hoping that she had been going on an exciting adventure. But, the next day, Mel dragged him to the restaurant to meet the owners and her new friends, twins Pizza Pockets and Macaroni.
To his surprise, he found himself entertained by the twins—mostly Macaroni, who he had to admit was a cute mare. It helped that she was absolutely hilarious, and actually kept his attention for more than five minutes. He was amazed that there was actually someone besides his sister that made him genuinely smile instead of scowl, roll his eyes, or smirk mischievously.
Glad that Mel brought him there, Lemon was more than willing to sneak with her to visit the twins. And when the Fruits had to leave Manehattan, the siblings kept correspondence by letter. Mel and Lemon would laugh together at the letters from Pizza and Mackie they received, enjoying the good-natured jokes and funny stories written in them.
However, Lemon discovered one night that his sister had vanished. Given that earlier he overheard his parents’ decision on who Mel should marry—the suitor being a stallion she hated—he was able to figure out what happened quickly. And he had an idea of where she went.
It took him a bit to convince his parents to look for her outside of Canterlot (“for goodness’ sake, I’m an adult! I don’t need you holding my hoof”). But when he managed to gain their approval for it, he went off to Manehattan, as there was one family there that Mel trusted.
When he found her, he was shocked to discover that she had eloped with Pizza Pockets. While his initial reaction was anger at Mel for pulling this stunt and that he didn’t get to witness the marriage, he admitted that he liked the idea of Pizza Pockets being his brother-in-law. He knew his parents wouldn’t approve; however, as he thought Canterlotians’ getting their tails in a twist was hilarious, he decided that going for a mare that he liked himself was the best way to stick it to the haughty killjoys of Canterlot society. So, he ended up proposing to Macaroni then and there.
Of course, once he brought Mackie to Canterlot, the elite did go into an uproar as predicted. However, instead of it being funny in the manner of ponies freaking out over little mice, Lemon soon realized that they were acting more like a mob looking for witches to burn. And when his sister was called to Canterlot along with her husband, it was clear that the twins were the ‘witches’. There were plots to humiliate them, shun them like the Manehattan indigents they were, and there were even death threats toward them.
He felt like he had to apologize to them over and over for putting them in this mess, especially as it got worse when Mel turned out to be pregnant with Pizza’s offspring. He even felt horrible for practically using Mackie to screw with his neighbors. He was considering taking it back, as their feelings were more important than getting back at a society that he disliked.
It took Princess Celestia stepping in to stop all the madness, telling them all off for blowing it out of proportion and that there was nothing wrong with the couples so long as they treated each other fairly. She gave both couples her blessing, even though Lemon was ready to break his engagement with Mackie. After all, he wouldn’t have blamed her for not wanting anything to do with him. Still, she stayed, and he remembered just how happy she really made him.
Of course, as his sister lost her inheritance for eloping in the first place, he found himself saddled with it, as his parents had no other children and they had to hand the business off to somepony. Unfortunately, he was left to figure things out on his own, given that his parents weren’t willing to talk to him for a while.
Thankfully, Macaroni turned out to be pretty smart, and was able to translate her small business experience into big business experience, though she didn’t like not being able to be personal (plus, she was not used to dressing all fancy and stuff—especially her frizzy mane! But, like every other member of her family, her forelock is not easily tamed, and thus, stayed up).
Six foals followed in the years to come. The only unicorn, their son Citrus Blast, was born first, followed by five earth ponies: his sister Missy Pasta, brother Cheddar Cheese, sister Limey Green, brother Dill Pickles, and baby sister Pumpkin Patch. They were a mischievous bunch like their parents before them, but they at least had enough discipline to sit still for important events. Citrus was the best behaved out of all of them, given that he realized that he could inherit the Fruit Clan’s business in the future.
Lemon and Mackie tried to visit Pizza and Mel as often as they could, which wasn’t much thanks to demanding jobs and other engagements. They wanted their six foals to have a good relationship with their cousins, twins Mozzarella and Honeydew. But, infrequent visits in either city didn’t really do much to establish that.
There was more opportunity to visit when they were older (old enough to have grandfoals), as Lemon let Citrus take care of business when he and Mackie were away. They’d visit and talk about the old times, and there were a couple of times when Mel’s little grandsons, Cheese and Tomato Sandwich, would pop in and gawk at their great uncle.
Alas, a letter came to Lemon one day, telling him that his sister and brother-in-law had succumbed to cancer. He was upset about this, as was Mackie. However, she made sure to have him reminisce about the good times they had with their siblings, and keep him happy, as that’s what they would have wanted.
In the present, Lemon remarks that Canterlot is nicer than it was when he was young. Sure, they tended to be a bunch of trend-following idiots, but he’s able to have friendly conversations with folks (though that could be in part to his grandchildren). He still likes it when something interrupts the sophistication of Canterlot, like what happened at the last two Grand Galloping Galas, or that time when his great nephew Cheese Sandwich made a party more exciting just by sneezing. Though, he didn’t like the Changeling invasion.
He and Mackie are going to live long enough to see their great-grandfoals.
There's something weirdly ironic about unicorns on a witch hunt.
In any case, good to hear that Lemon managed to mellow out and find happiness despite his parents' best efforts. All while fulfilling their desires, no less!