Recommended Story Reviews #12 – You Want Me, Wyrmlysan, Ἐλπίς, A Muddy Hole, Twisting Between the Sheets · 1:43am Sep 4th, 2016
As promised last weekend, I posted a story this week:
I Can Explain!
by Titanium Dragon
Teen, Sex, Comedy
1,033 wordsRarity explains to Sweetie Belle what the Cutie Mark Crusaders saw when they walked in on her and Applejack.
It was totally innocent. Really!
It is a silly little story, rather raunchy I suppose, but folks seem to find it amusing, which always makes me happy. It is hard to believe that Apple Shampoo was posted 20 stories ago.
In any case, seeing as I posted a story, I still owe you all a review set as well. And a review set you shall receive!
This set contains two stories by HoofBitingActionOverload who, as noted in my post last weekend, is going to be pulling down his stories from FIMFiction very soon. I’d reviewed a large number of his stories previously, but two of his better stories had never received reviews, having been written a very long time ago.
Consequently, I figured I’d rectify that, along with featuring three other strong stories from the times of yore.
Today’s stories:
You Want Me by HoofBitingActionOverload
Wyrmlysan by Chris
Ἐλπίς by Bad Horse
A Muddy Hole by PoweredByTea
Twisting Between the Sheets by HoofBitingActionOverload
You Want Me
by HoofBitingActionOverload
Romance
22,175 wordsApplejack and Rainbow Dash have been close friends for a long time and, for some reason Rainbow Dash has never been able to understand, it seems as if everyone she knows expects them to get together eventually. To Rainbow Dash's surprise, Applejack abruptly decides that their friends are right and asks her out on a date. To Applejack's surprise, Rainbow Dash immediately turns her down.
Unfortunately for Rainbow Dash, Applejack is nothing if not stubborn, and she declares that she won't give up until Rainbow Dash has agreed to go on a date with her, no matter what it takes.
Why I recommend it: A fun writing style and a great internal voice for Rainbow Dash. Also, it is a fun AppleDash story.
Review
Rainbow Dash and Applejack’s friends always joke about what a good couple the pair would make. Normally, Rainbow Dash can put up with their jokes, but Hearts and Hooves Day is coming up, and Rarity is having fun teasing them about being alone for the holiday.
But after Applejack lists out all the things she’s looking for in a girlfriend, she realizes that Rainbow Dash suits them to a T.
Too bad that Rainbow Dash doesn’t want to date. Not just not date Applejack, but not date anyone.
But Applejack is nothing if not stubborn. She saw the look in Rainbow Dash’s eye, heard the hesitation in her voice. Rainbow Dash wants Applejack. And Applejack isn’t going to take no for an answer.
This is a cute story overall. The basic premise – Applejack refusing to give up on asking out Rainbow Dash, and Rainbow Dash saying no – actually only lasts about halfway through the story, beyond which point things change and evolve. This story is not a one-trick pony, and over the course of the story we come to understand why it is that Rainbow Dash said no, no matter how much she wants to say yes deep down inside, as well as why Applejack has no clue about how to go about asking out her friend properly.
This story is at times funny and at times sad; Rainbow Dash’s inner voice is full of excellent little asides and internal metaphors. If you’ve read Spring is Dumb, Rainbow Dash’s inner voice is going to sound familiar to you. But this story isn’t Spring is Dumb; while Rainbow Dash is in denial, she also has a good reason for acting the way she does, and shows a great deal of anxiety – an aspect of her character which is often underexplored in stories, even though we’ve seen her get very nervous about things like her performance in the Best Young Flyer’s competition back in Sonic Rainboom.
In the end, this is a shipfic where the ship at the end feels earned by the characters; it is a fun ride, with conflict, tension, and the risk of failure looming overhead throughout the piece. The first chapter starts out a bit slow, but once it gets into the thick of things, it really gets fun.
Recommendation: Recommended.
Wyrmlysan
by Chris
Tragedy
3,321 wordsProphecy is a dangerous game; meanings which are obvious can become obscure in an instant, and fates are laid bare only in hindsight.
After the fall of Discord but before the rise of Nightmare Moon, a dragon breaks the peace between its race and ponykind, and Princess Luna flies to mete out justice.
Why I recommend it: An interesting glimpse at pre-Nightmare Moon Luna, as well as hints of her fall and redemption.
Review
A dragon has killed the inhabitants of a town of ponies for some reason. When Luna in all her power and fury flies out to confront it, she finds a dragon who wants to talk and beg for mercy – not for herself, but for her child, for whom she committed her horrible crime. Her egg is resting on a stone plaque which is believed to set fate and prophecy in stone, and she believes that the prophecy in question will redeem dragonkind.
This story has a really good feel to it – Luna is suitably imperious, and we already can see ponies drifting away from her, and her struggle to remain relevant in the face of her sister. But she is difficult for ponies to empathize with, and with good reason; she does what she feels is right, but does not seem to care much for feelings in general (or for being soft).
The presentation of the egg to Luna, and Luna’s choice about what to do with that egg at the end, as well as the actual text of the prophecy, all are deliciously ironic, and fit nicely into mythology of the series, while adding additional weight to Luna’s fall. I didn’t see the ending coming, but it fit very nicely with Luna’s character here, and the whole thing has a suitably heavy feel to it, befitting Luna’s upcoming fall.
If you’re looking for a story about pre-Nightmare Moon Luna with a suitably epic feel, this is a great choice.
Recommendation: Highly Recommended.
Ἐλπίς
by Bad Horse
Gore, Adventure, Dark
2,566 wordsBelow her, the remains of the world, and everyone in it, spin slowly, around and around, in a sea of purple goo. But that doesn't mean Celestia's work is done. The Road lies ahead of her, and at its end—the most difficult decision of her life. Again.
How long can one pony keep hope alive?
Long.
Why I recommend it: A mythic – and hopeful – look at the end of the world.
Review
At the end of all things, after the world has been submerged in purple ooze, Celestia alone flies on over the ripples and waves, unfaltering, unfailing. She refuses to fall into the ooze, and for eons flies onwards, until the ooze is gone and the Road is before her, and The Butler, a strange, too-thin thing which exists independent of the world, as he always has before.
The road is covered with lines. And Celestia must drag herself to the end of the road, inch by inch, even as it reduces her to nothing, for she must do something at the end of it.
As a story with a Greek title, you might expect this to have a mythic feel to it, and it does. Celestia suffers for the world throughout the piece, suffers for Creation, both Creation past, and Creation yet to come. The Butler offers her rest, the ability to stop the cycle, to not try and put together another world from the ashes of the old one. But Celestia knows better.
This story is mostly dark because of Celestia’s suffering; in the end, the story is fundamentally hopeful, and the final few lines show us just why Celestia suffers, what she suffers for, why it matters, and most of all, why she won’t give up. The description of the end of the world has a suitably mythological feel to it, and it seems like it would be fitting as a creation myth – something where your god suffers long and hard for Creation because they know its value. And it not only reflects on Celestia, but also on how people should behave, like all good myths do.
Recommendation: Recommended.
A Muddy Hole
by PoweredByTea
Slice of Life
3,750 wordsRarity doesn't like dirt, she doesn't like dust. Grime and filth are a big no-no. And when it comes to mud, Rarity is usually seen moving at a full gallop in the opposite direction. So just how did she get herself into that muddy pit during the Sisterhooves Social?
Why I recommend it: A fun little look at a moment between Rarity and Applejack.
Review
Rarity needs to get into the muddy hole so she can do the switcharoo during the Sisterhooves Social race. This is the perfect plan for her to make up to her sister – after all, she hates mud.
There’s just one problem – she can’t do it. She simply cannot bring herself to throw herself in.
Told from Applejack’s point of view, this is the story of how Applejack helped Rarity get over herself and get into that muddy hole. It is actually a nice little character moment for the two, showing us Applejack’s growth as a person, connecting her actions to events we had previously seen in the show, and lending some extra character to both Applejack and Rarity, and what they appreciate in (and what drives them crazy about) each other. It does a good job of illustrating Applejack’s thought process, as well as Rarity’s own fussiness combined with her determination, stubbornness, and sense of ethics.
If it has a flaw, it is that it is a bit slow-paced towards the beginning; it spends a fair bit of time setting up for the events considering what a short story it is, though once it actually gets going it gets stronger.
If you like Rarity and Applejack, you’ll likely enjoy this story.
Recommendation: Recommended.
Twisting Between the Sheets
by HoofBitingActionOverload
Drama, Romance
24,811 wordsWhen Rarity’s friends discover that she has been secretly meeting with an escort, they begin investigating, and soon discover a web of lies and unrequited romances none of them ever could have expected.
Why I recommend it: An interesting look at Rarity and unrequited love, plus one of my favorite OCs in a shipfic.
Review
Rarity is in love with Applejack. Or, at least she thinks she is. But she knows full well that Applejack doesn’t return her feelings. An ordinary pony might get over this… but Rarity can’t. It isn’t fair. She’s beautiful. She should have her perfect fairy tale…
But she knows real life isn’t a fairy tale, that Applejack doesn’t love her, that the differences are too great. So she hires an escort, Sugar Sweet, a prostitute escort whose special talent is making herself look like other ponies (well, except for the eyes, anyway).
It is messed up and she knows it. But she can’t stop herself, even when it means hiding away from her real friends – even from the real Applejack at times.
And Sugar Sweet isn’t just an object, either – she’s a real pony with real feelings. And unlike her other clients, Rarity doesn’t treat her like a piece of meat, or look down on her. She’s falling for Rarity as a result, and wants to make her happy.
And then Sugar Sweet gets too curious, talks to Applejack to get a better idea about who the mare she is imitating is… at which point the whole thing falls apart. Applejack hates “filth” like Sugar Sweet, and the idea that Sugar Sweet is friends with Rarity disgusts her. It has to be a lie – Rarity would never spend time around a home-wrecker like Sugar Sweet.
So she follows Sugar Sweet to Rarity’s one evening, only to discover exactly what is going on.
This story is primarily about Rarity, who is quite the mess in this story. Her obsession with Applejack, combined with her own stubborn insistence not to deal with it properly, leads to this whole mess. Rarity is a very emotional creature here, and the events of the story hit her very hard. She struggles to deal with her obsession with Applejack, as well as her nascent feelings towards Sugar Sweet, feelings transferred from Applejack to the pony she hired to pose as her. Rarity struggles with her friends, not only the traditional six, but also the realization that Sugar Sweet was, on some level, her friend as well, and her actions in tossing her aside to pursue Applejack for real have hurt her deeply.
We also get a good look at both Applejack and Sugar Sweet here. Applejack is angry about the whole thing, but is a fundamentally good pony. But she also doesn’t – can’t – love Rarity the way Rarity wants her to, especially not after everything that just happened. But Rarity cannot accept that, and tries to win her over throughout the piece.
Meanwhile, poor Sugar Sweet has lost the only pony in Ponyville who really acted friendly towards her. She’s a ditz, but she’s a fundamentally good pony, even if she struggles to really put herself together as a person. Rarity’s other friends do try to comfort her a little and learn more about the pony that Rarity has been spending so much time with in private, but Rarity and Sugar Sweet have to come to terms with the fact that the way they’ve been behaving towards each other has crossed several lines it shouldn’t have.
The story, on the whole, is a pretty emotionally complicated piece, and we see ponies do stupid things, break each others’ hearts, and hurt each other intentionally for often petty (and sometimes not-so-petty) reasons. The situation is complicated, and the interplay between Rarity, Applejack, and Sugar Sweet is an interesting one.
This isn’t a super heartwarming story. Instead, it is the story of ponies who don’t know what they want, and struggle to figure out what it is that they should do after things have fallen apart. If you like the idea of an emotionally complex story with a lot of emotional drama and pain, this is the story for you.
Recommendation: Highly Recommended, and one of the fifteen stories you should read.
Summary
You Want Me by HoofBitingActionOverload
Recommended
Wyrmlysan by Chris
Highly Recommended
Ἐλπίς by Bad Horse
Recommended
A Muddy Hole by PoweredByTea
Recommended
Twisting Between the Sheets by HoofBitingActionOverload
Highly Recommended
If you’re at all interested in those HoofBitingActionOverload stories, I’d recommend reading them sooner rather than later – or downloading them so that you might consume them at your own convenience.
Next week, I plan on trying to get another story done and posted, with the goal of posting at least one story a week here on FIMFiction.
Until then, I hope that you enjoy these stories. And, of course, I Can Explain!
Number of stories still listed as Read It Sooner: 156
Number of stories still listed as Read It Later: 538
Number of stories listed as Read It Eventually: 1969
Hi!
You are awesome!
4190548
Aw, thanks! It always feels really nice to have someone say that out of the blue.
Thank you.
I've readed the firts three times ago, but you totally sold me "Twisting Between the Sheets". Gonna hurry with that one.
Thanks for the review!
It is possible to read Elpis in just the opposite way. At least, it is if you're Fiddlebottoms. I admit I had the conventional reading in mind, but I'd like to take credit for the subversive reading anyway.
4190562
It is totally worth reading. It is a story that makes me feel bad for the characters in it, kind of feel bad even reading it. And that means that I actually care about the characters, care about what happens to them, care about the story and the outcome. There aren't many stories that make me feel as bad for the characters as that story does.
4190700
What was Fiddlebottom's reading of it?
Thanks for the review, TD! I can finally add "had a story reviewed by Titanium Dragon" to my fiction checklist, and I'm glad you feel like this one still holds up today.
4190761
It is a good one! I like it a lot. I really need to get around to reading more of your stuff; I think I've only read four of your stories.
4190756 My mistake! Not Fiddlebottoms. I was thinking of Slavoj Zizek. Horizon said he thought the story was about torture, but I can't remember what he said now. It's probably in a write-off thread comment.
Grand_Moff_Pony: "incredibly horrifying in its implications... what happens when the path before her is so long, she never physically makes it to the end..."
Slavoj Zizek: "Nietzsche was the one who said hope was the greatest of evils, because it encourages the suffering to torture themselves by prolonging what they should cut short. He also said that the will to retain a memory is one half of what makes a human (promising animal), but the other half is confidence in the future. Celestia's promises are false, sense she knows she will fail.
A sort of insane cosmology in which a self-mutilating demiurge drags its subjects through the same misery and lies again and again."
4190761 I'll second a Highly Recommended for Wyrmlysan, even though TD gave Elpis only a Recommended immediately after.
That's how good it is.
This reminds my of an old novel in which a character measures driving distances in cans of beer.
Innovative and (beautifully) nonlinear.
4190861
I have to admit I have a deep love for measuring stuff in ways like that.
Also, I have to say that it often feels more meaningful to me than using actual chronological time. Long time periods often feel weird to me; it is about what happened during that time period.
4190878
Indeed, indeed. When it comes to writing in particular that rings true with me. Plus it makes me feel better about the sometimes large spans of chronological time between my various stories seeing the light of day.
4190780 you may or may not know that Slavoj Zizek is a bit of a self-parody in the leftist world. Like Vermin Supreme except probably not in on his own joke. My communist friend couldn't believe it when I showed him that he also occasionally writes pony words.
4191196 I don't think it's the real Slavoj Zizek, mainly because of the prior odds, and because he makes fun of his snorting in his bio. But it does seem like something Zizek might do, doesn't it? And whoever it is is very smart. So who knows?
HoofBitingActionOverload update! The stories aren't (all) vanishing after all!
4190780
It was almost certainly in the Writeoff thread. In fact … *googles* … here you go.
Actually, both of those stories by HoofBitingActionOverload did have reviews before this post went up. Unless you were referring other stories from him?
4316444
I meant "reviews from me", I think.
4190756 Update: Turns out the ancient Greeks often used the word "elpis" to mean "wishful thinking". So Zizek may have interpreted the text more-correctly than I did.
5206949
Isn't elpis also the thing that didn't escape Pandora's Box?
5207800 Yes. It was in a lecture on Pandora's box (which was originally a vase in Hesiod) that I heard that some scholars say it should be interpreted as "wishful thinking".