Aug
3rd
2016
Points of Canon: The Wonderbolts Academy Handbook · 5:23pm Aug 3rd, 2016
I almost forgot I had this!
This is a unique piece of companion literature, in that it purports to be an in-universe document, like the Journal, but is also supposed to be an in-universe technical document, the only one of its kind so far released.
So what do we have here?
- Multiple stickers identify the particular copy of the book as belonging to Rainbow Dash.
- The nominal author of the work is one Admiral Sherbert Burst. Notice the extra “r.”
- The introduction says the code has been revised “for many moons” (I hate those people) and yet refers to being the accumulation of “centuries” of experience. Ponies don’t mention centuries often, if at all!
- The introduction is signed by “Headmaster Wing” who, for some reason, signs with “H.M. Wing”
- The origin story of the Wonderbolts given in the first chapter mostly mimics the one told in Testing, Testing 1-2-3, with a few extra details – the original team of aerial performers had seven ponies in it, and they were selected from the EUPG. Wonderbolts are referred to as a “battalion” once established as a permanent thing. The Wonderbolt Academy was established by General Firefly just like the Wonderbolts themselves soon after.
- One very intriguing illustration has earth ponies paradropping from an airship.
- A very odd page lists the types of ponies of Equestria. Notably, it starts with alicorns and says they “sometimes” have “an Earth pony power.” Huh?… Also notably, there are no thestrals in this list.
- Wonderbolts Academy is cited as “the birthplace of aviation.”
- The list of locations on campus includes “Wonderbolt Headquarters,” “The landing strip,” “The barracks” (which contain “sleeping quarters,” “locker rooms,” “classrooms,” “library,” “common area” and “memorabilia display case”)
- “Fun fact: Admiral Fairweather built the Barracks area completely by hoof”
- “Fun fact: The cadet with the slowest times from the day’s drills is typically charged with cleaning the compound.”
- “Remember: No horsing around after hours will be tolerated.”
- The description of the memorabilia display case lists all the artifacts mentioned in Newbie Dash, so at least now we know how did Dash recognize all of them on sight: They were in the student handbook which she got many episodes ago.
- Wonderbolt Academy is explicitly located within Cloudsdale.
- Cloudsdale “has been called ‘the greatest city in the sky’ by Equestria Magazine.” So not only a travel magazine called “Equestria Magazine” has to exist, but also, other cloud cities probably do.
- Cloudsdale locations listed include the Weather Factory and Cloudosseum. “Cadets receive discounted tickets to all events and are encouraged to attend.” Notably, Cloudosseum is mentioned as hosting Equestria Games at least once.
- “Fun fact: Transportation from Equestria below is provided daily for visitors via hot-air balloon.” Notably, no mention of cloudwalking spells being provided.
- “Lesson #1: Balance & Discipline” is a list of obvious time-management advice. What isn’t obvious is the line at the end: “Remember: Balance is the best way to ensure harmony!”
- List of academy staff includes: Tight Ship, in charge of scheduling, Crescent Moon, in charge of students, Fast Clip the drill instructor, Whiplash the lead instructor, Spitfire the team captain and drill instructor. Soarin is listed as “commander” for some reason.
- Rainbow pasted multiple photos of herself in, hiding important bits of information from us. She also has some rather disparaging comments on Lesson #1, namely, that it’s boring. Never thought I would agree with her.
- “Lesson #2: Authority & Command” suggests that the entire command hierarchy of the Wonderbolts only has three levels - Leader, Team member, Cadet. Or maybe, it’s just the part the students need to know about…
- Primarily retelling the aforementioned Testing, Testing 1-2-3, the book mysteriously lists both a General and an Admiral as leaders of the Wonderbolts in different time periods. And an admiral “oversees operations of a pony platoon.” Perpendicular linguistics, anyone?
- At least at certain times, Wonderbolts had a “7th squadron,” implying there were multiple teams.
- There’s a whole two-frame comic describing the proper procedure of addressing a superior officer, which includes a salute. And the questions for the lesson seem to all be about how the cadets have no command authority whatsoever, which Rainbow disagrees with.
- “Lesson #3: Leadership” has the usual platitudes, but “Learn how to spot bullying and stand up to bullies when you see them behaving badly and demeaning their fellow cadets” is number two. Judging by Newbie Dash, when a higher ranked officer does it, it’s perfectly ok. It’s also interesting that advice on how to be a good leader immediately follows questions on why cadets don’t have any authority.
- “While your fellow cadets are all Pegasi,” implies that no non-pegasi can ever become cadets. Even if they can fly.
- Post-lesson questions: “What should I do when I have to make a difficult decision?” Rainbow’s answer: “Facehoof.”
- “Lesson #4: Knowing your role” is all of one page. But it has a post-lesson questionnaire.
- “Lesson #5: Teamwork” has five pages. And four of them are plastered over with “Meet the Wonderbolts” pages held in by paperclips.
- Fleetfoot’s page has a “Don’t ask Soarin about the time when we got into a teensy little argument about who can do a better Sonic Rainboom.” Really, someone except Rainbow can even do a Sonic Rainboom at all?!
- Blaze’s page mentions his autobiography, “Blaze of glory.”
- “Lesson #6: Communication” is two pages of platitudes. Rainbow’s comment on the questions afterwards ends with “ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, HANDBOOK?” which kind of sums up my opinion.
- “Lesson #7: Conflict” has one page. But the questions asked afterwards are “What is respect? How do you earn it?” which the lesson does not detail. Rainbow devolves to doodling in the book by that point.
- “Lesson #8: Negative actions” has one bloody paragraph.
- “Lesson #9: Tips” is likewise uninteresting.
- “Lesson #10: Support your teammates” has the usual obvious platitudes, but they are complemented by a handy pictorial guide of facial expressions to recognize in teammates. 16 of them. If that guide is to be followed, Rainbow’s face in Stranger than Fan Fiction when she introduces Daring to Quibble means she feels loved.
- The advice “Don’t brag! A team is comprised of many members, and they’re all there because they earned it. It’s a group effort.” is marked up by Rainbow’s “What would Fluttershy do?” Hmmm…
- “Lesson #11: Training” once again mentions that “Nopony learns how to complete a Sonic Rainboom just by reading about it in a book,” implying that a lot of ponies can do it now.
- Exercises detailed in this chapter include wing lifts, i.e. push-ups using wings in place of arms, barrel rolls, obstacle course, flag drill, which is about locating and collecting more flags of your color than the opposing team can locate of theirs, and the Dizzitron from Wonderbolts Academy.
- The list of formation flying patterns includes chevron formation and “Icaranian sun salutation” and nothing else. The only thing the book can say about the Salutation it is that it’s Celestia’s favorite, not how to perform it or what it even looks like. “Sonic Rainboom” is now listed as a Wonderbolts maneuver.
- “Wonderbolts of the future Cloudsdale flight camp” is a special Academy program for children. Rainbow’s “Scootaloo would love this!” comment implies Scootaloo will one day fly.
- “Lesson #12: Competition and conduct” contains the usual obvious platitudes and lists the staff of the Best Young Flyer contest: Lucy Packard the pony prepper, (Lucy, really?!) Madden the announcer, and names cheerleader #2 (Spring Step) but not #1. The section about Wonderbolts Derby includes a comment from Fancy Pants for an unclear reason.
- “Lesson #13: Staying true to yourself” contains the usual platitudes interspersed with some rather odd advice: “Don’t spend so much time with others that you become exactly like them” and “Don’t wear the same thing all the time. Chances are you’ll get bored.”
- For some entirely unfathomable reason, this lesson contains a section with fashion advice from “legendary fashion icon Flaire d’Mare,” which is what they’re offering as a canonical name for Fleur de Lis. Who is supposedly a fashion designer herself and ran a boutique called “Beware the FLAIR.” And designed clothing for “everypony from Celestia to Admiral Fairy Flight.” She grew up in a place called San Palomino, and studied in the Equestria Institute for Fashion, eventually moving to Cloudsdale for no clear reason despite being a unicorn. Her particular achievement is designing the Wonderbolt uniforms. “Prance” is supposedly a fashion magazine.
- “Lesson #14: Support Network” gives a few rather meaningless words about Wonderbolt Reserves: They’re reserves. Apparently, Thunderlane and Sunshine Raindrops are on the Reserves. I have no idea why this section contains a comment from Flaire d’Mare.
- History Pop Quiz clipped into the book is filled out by Rainbow Dash. She got 88% score for it. And one of the answers says that “EUP means Equestria United Ponies.” ?????
- The answer Rainbow got wrong is the Wonderbolts motto. She gives it as the English “Soaring Higher” but the correct answer in red is “Utentes Superiores” which contradicts the one given in Newbie Dash and means, well, something else entirely…
- What follows is a notebook titled “Cadet Journal” and filled out by Rainbow exclusively.
- “What is GUSTO? Somepony told me I needed more of this.” I don’t rightly know either, Rainbow…
- The diary insists for the fourth time that “Sonic Rainbooms” are a subject taught in the Academy and Rainbow already knows all about them.
- The diary covers at least 12 days spent at the Academy during Wonderbolts Academy and contains very little in terms of new canon tidbits.
It started out really interesting but went downhill quite rapidly. Upon reflection, the book is completely worthless in-universe, because everyone who can be observed as a Wonderbolt has also disregarded its advice numerous times, so it must not be useful for becoming a Wonderbolt. But as an out of universe motivational literature for children, it also fails pretty hard.
The biggest canon consequence of this particular book is that it wants us to believe that the secret of the Sonic Rainboom has been soundly cracked, and it’s pretty much routine now, no longer a Rainbow exclusive in any way. Which is something I find really difficult to believe, remembering how big a deal it was supposed to be.
The other one is the clear implication that Scootaloo will at some point be able to fly, or at least that Rainbow is sure she will.
I’m not sure much of anything in there can be taken seriously. :)
Well... Maybe knowing about the Rainboom and actually doing it are two different things.
~Skeeter The Lurker
4129783
Alas, no, seeing as how Fleetfoot's page reports an argument with Soarin on who can do a better Sonic Rainboom.
If nothing else, I'll happily accept anything that says Scootaloo will get airborne one day.
The rest... Yeah. Sounds like it leaves a lot to be desired.
4129793
Could mean a... Hypothetical argument. Kinda like a "Batman vs Iron Man" argument.
~Skeeter The Lurker
4129811
Considering the other three times it's mentioned in this context, I think it's easier to disregard the entire book if you feel this is stupid. Which I do. :)
Most of the other stuff it offers in terms of worldbuilding is either useless, contradicts primary canon, or uninteresting, so it wouldn't be a huge loss.
Oh boy. I'm not going to ignore this entirely, but it once again looks like I have a lot of excuses to make, and a lot of mental gymnastics to jump through.
Secondary canon... rejected!
4129832
I'm more or less trying to lessen the stupid.
Which means applying the mentality of 5 year olds to all the ponies mentioned.
...which would probably be par for the course if what you say is true. (I haven't read it)
~Skeeter The Lurker
4129809
I kinda want to see Scootaloo with a jetpack.
derpicdn.net/img/2012/6/18/7678/tall.jpg
4129866
Don't bother, I think it contradicts itself. If this is Rainbow's student handbook, then it cannot contain comments from Thunderlane about being in Wonderbolt Reserves, because he could only relate those after completing the Academy course.
Which he started simultaneously with Rainbow.
4129885
The text is so insistent about it that it's not feasible to dismiss this one separately even on those grounds.
4129903
Seriously? Jesus, even Star Wars had better connectivity between movie and books and everything else.
~Skeeter The Lurker
4129896
i61.tinypic.com/amvcx4.gif
4129907
Read it yourself. :) Get a sickness bag first.
4129929
If I get the chance, indeed.
~Skeeter The Lurker
“Utentes Superiores”
Ahem. Is that similar to "Fly United" only taken somewhat in a blue fashion?
"Madden the announcer...." Oh, yeah!
I suspect the great number of Sonic Rainboom comments are for pure attention, or possibly the writer did not realize that RD was the only pegasus who could do them in the cartoon. Sometimes the writers don't research enough.
My inclination is to ignore this completely. It contradicts primary canon too much, and in too many stupid ways.
Particularly the Rainboom: primary canon states this is "legendary" and one of the bullies outright states "There is no such thing. " Note: I may be paraphrasing; my internet is shoddy atm and I cannot check.
It's a bit of a stretch to then try to sell it as a standard Wonderbolt maneuver.
Additionally, it trivialises Rainbow's accomplishment for no real gain. It seems likely that whoever wrote this was merely being lazy, and employing the rainboom in this manner because it's likely that the target audience will know what it is, but won't question its use in this context.
Bad form, really.
Handbook....
Ponies has hands?!
Or did a Minotaur ghostwrite this..
Interesting. I hate to be that guy, but when Rainbow Dash reads about flight camp, she says "“Scootaloo would love this!", not "“Scootaloo will love this!" If I had a friend in a wheel chair who was a basketball fan, and I read about a basketball summer camp, I would say my friend could love this too.... if they could participate.
4130194
4130341
It is decently well researched (that is, average for a first fanfic) for anything past Wonderbolts Academy. What kinda surprises me is that the author knew about the Cloudosseum and the Best Young Flyer competition, but apparently did not see Sonic Rainboom himself, or he'd know how legendary it is. I wonder what's up with that.
But the fact that only two formation flying patterns are mentioned and only one is described makes me suspect he was having serious problems finding a book on aircraft formation flying, or was not permitted to do so because children would try to imitate it or something, and had to make do with the scant number of aerial techniques named in primary canon. So Sonic Rainboom had to be repurposed because otherwise the Wonderbolts wouldn't have anything to talk about.
If you ignore that, the only canonical worth the book has is introducing a name and profession for Fleur, and the ones it gives are kinda absurd, so meh. :)
4130437
Or it could just be a loanword originating with minotaurs.
4130828
Well, yes, maybe. Would you write this down in your own copy of the handbook though? Why?...
With or without this book, I'd love to get a canonical-as-possible timeline for when various historical events in the Equestrian military happened. For example, it's suggested one point that the EUPG were founded shortly after Nightmare Moon's banishment.
4131309
That bit is quite canonical, repeated in the Wonderbolt Academy Handbook from Testing Testing 1-2-3 where it came from originally. Equestria's unified military was founded after the banishment, and the rationale they were necessary was given as "there's no Luna anymore." Wonderbolts as an elite unit of that military were founded during the celebration of the "First Celestial Year of Peace" soon afterwards. Since there is no mention of any wars going on at the time, not even a civil war with Nightmare Moon supporters (see RTAC#10 for details) it had to have come pretty soon after the banishment, if not immediately.
Alas, that's the only canonical timing for any event in Equestrian military history at all. Not to mention the only military history event given in the primary canon. The year of Luna's banishment has been a heck of a year. :)
…let's ration our
, because this would drain the reserves.
American alt-spelling.
Los/Las Pegasus has always been on the map, and always had cloud-layer. [Obviously it gets an episode solidifying its sky-nature…later.]