Romance Pacing Done Wrong

Ah, romance... What a wonderful, wonderful thing, both to experience and to read.

Two individuals, slowly growing closer and closer together, their relationship changing, evolving into something new and beautiful, like a butterfly. Noticing something special about the other for the first time, first confession, first kiss... It's a beautiful process that takes time.

Why don't people get it?

This post was inspired by two fics I've recently read. Two romance fics, and yet so vastly different in reception... One of them had good pacing, the other was awful in that regard. Since I believe in learning from mistakes, as well as learning from examples, let me tell you about the bad one first.

A TwiGlimmer fic it was. A fairly rare ship, but one with a lot of potential, that's why my joy was the bigger when I noticed it's not a oneshot and it's still being actively worked on. I will omit its name to avoid eventual witch hunting, but I can't help it if some of the things I write are a dead giveaway of what fic I'm talking about.

It started after season 5 finale, when Starlight moved in to the abomination of a toy castle Twilight now calls home. Starlight was feeling uneasy about her new friendships - especially friendship with Twilight - constantly thinking, that she will leave just like Starburst did. At this moment we're about 100 words into the fic.

So she comes up with a plan: to make Twilight someone more than just a friend, so they stay together forever. "That's a really nice premise!" - I think - "To make Starlight scheme and plan at first, only for her to truly fall for Twilight later, maybe some drama when Twilight finds out about Starlight's initial intentions... Sounds great!"

If somebody wants to use that idea - please do. Feel free to do so, because that's not what the author's premise really was.

And that's because attraction was established at ~500 words. Not even that light, subtle smidge of quickly dismissed attraction, no. It was the "imma hit you in da face with a sledgehammer" type of "goddamn her ass is fine!" attraction. About as subtle as a freight train full of butcher knives.

"Well," I keep my delusions, "maybe it'll cause some internal conflict of wanting to use Twilight and caring about her at the same time or something?"

Little did I know, we arrive at ~1k words mark and all shit breaks loose.

First kiss.

No, scratch that, first kiss is something different. It's that tender, shy moment of uncertainty, of all the boiling feelings gathered throughout months of lusting for each other more and more each day, moment of the end of the old and beginning of the new, breaking point of a...

You get the idea.

But no. Not in that fic. Of course not.

Instead we get Starlight pushing Twilight down onto the floor, nibbling on her ear, checking Twilight's tonsils with her tongue, licking Twi's neck and whatnot. A scene not unlike the ones sometimes present in clopfics.

One.

Thousand.

Words.

Let that sink in.

It goes on for some time, Twilight finally giving in, they decide to become an item. And at ~1.2k words they go to sleep, together, in Twilight's bed.

That is NOT how you pace your romance.

Then we have the other fic. One that I will mention. "Twilight, Good Night" is the title. It's a TwiLuna fic, and what a fic it is...

Here the pacing was done masterfully.

Admiration, friendship, infatuation, were done smoothly, one transforming into other, in the span of over twenty chapters, each of them in range of 3-6 thousand words. You could see the relationship evolve, not just "happen" because the author wanted so.

Some may say that it's too slow, that it'll get boring quickly. Under normal circumstances I would be inclined to agree, but not in this case.

I wasn't bored for a single while.

Even if an entire chapter was just a dialogue between few characters, a dinner, or Twilight panicking, it was all done so well that the five thousand words passed in a blink of an eye.

That is how you pace a story, ladies and gentlemen. You make it evolve naturally, add all those seemingly uninteresting bits and pieces that still add to characters and their relationships. And it takes time. It cannot be contained in 1-2 chapters.

It's a tough skill to learn, yes. Stretching something over a span of twenty or more chapters, yet keeping it interesting.

But it is oh so worth it.