Visiden Tries It: Wires Chapter 2 · 1:29pm Jul 17th, 2016
Right, chapter two, let's go.
"Officer on deck!" the sergeant barked. All the grunts nearby halted in their duties and snapped to attention.
You know, if you just said they snapped to attention, the meaning would be the same.
At ease, as you were..." Shining Armor blurted out as he stumbled past them. He never even looked up, his eyes focused on his coat – a less blatant, well-padded winter outfit this time – as his foreleg fumbled with the zipper, which would not go up the rest of the way. He tried to use his magic again, but through the mire of his headache and insomnia, his horn could only fizzle and spit a few sparks at best. Eventually, he gave up and just left his coat half-open, despite the wind biting at his exposed hide.
Truly an exemplar of discipline, our Shining Armor. Leading by example as any prince and military leader should.
At the door to the bridge, a pair of guards in full armor locked their heels and saluted by holding their spears high.
This is a surprise. I was fairly certain that they would be using guns given the inspiration for the story.
Anything to report?” he went on.
Bonnie smirked. “Nothing new since last time.”
I am now convinced that Bonnie finds Shining Armor contemptible and is not even bothering to hide it. Unless this is the actual intention, there should be less instances of smirking.
Well, it’s a short mission.” The captain’s eyes never left his map as he spoke. “We get in, we take whoever wants to leave, we settle any issues that rise along the way, we get out. What makes you worry so much?”
Let me tell you about the military operation I'm conducting, civilian who is somehow operating this vessel that's being used for a military operation.
There's a nice bit of description of the site they're approaching.
His hoof tapped the side to zoom out,
Starting to notice this tendency to "localize" Shining Armor's movements. His hoof tapped, and his teeth bit his cheeks rather than he tapped and he bit.
Eh, cap’n?” the mule slurred. “I ain’t, like, all sure if yer allowed to use all that.”
Sorry, mule, it's not like I'm already utilizing your entire ship for my operation. Using your binoculars is definitely off limits.
He unfolded the map on the table before him. “We confirmed with our… uh...” Trailing off, he glanced at the ship’s captain. A plump, bearded stallion in a white uniform stared back at him with a vapid smile, while Shining tried to come up with an appropriate word. “...sailing advisors that, uh… this will be our ideal landing spot.”
Why is the civilian captain partaking in a military operation meeting so they have to make euphemisms?
A raspy voice rose from the crowd. “Lieutenant! Are you about to question a direct order?”
A crowd? How many of them are in this meeting? I would think that it would just be the leader of the operation and a few trusted advisors.
This isn’t a question of loyalty or protocol,” Setter shot back. “This is a meeting. We’re supposed to—”
He wasn't about to suggest that they'd put it to a vote, was he? Not exactly chain of command stuff there.
The exodus led by High Strung across the Baranzovo Sea was the first ever direct influx of pony population in Novy Rubezh.
I like these loading screen blurbs. They help flesh the world out. Certainly better than listing down random perks.
Regarding the parts about Shining Armor interacting with the civilian crew: it is implied that the Guard are only meant to be "passengers" on board the ship. They get to choose the destination, but are otherwise supposed to stay out of the sailors' way (and preferably refrain from touching anything). Given the ship captain's bad habits and lack of discipline compared to the soldiers, there is also a degree of distrust and perhaps slight contempt in there.
The same applies to Shiny telling the guy who is currently operating the wheel what the mission is. It's implied that they were either ordered not to give the crew any specifics about the mission, or he himself doesn't trust them. At the same time, since they've been sailing for so long in terrible weather, perhaps he no longer gives a damn and just lets it out.
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I would think that Shining wouldn't have to dance around them with sensitive information. He could just say "that's classified info". As for the equipment, I think he's giving too much ground. "I needed to see something and your binoculars served my purpose. Got a problem?" He doesn't have to overtly threaten them, but I doubt a civilian freight crew would start shit with a troop of armed soldiers over the use of binoculars.
Makes me wonder about the economic state of the Crystal Empire given how crap their transport is. Call me cynical over most Shining Armor stories, but I suspect Cadance is fucking somepony on the side and is sending her "beloved husband" off to die in a rusty tub.
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Kinda sorta. More like "sending three ships that regularly visit the place" is a lot easier to keep clandestine than "send three brand-spanking-new military transports", since the latter is pretty much a declaration of war for the region. As for Shiny's motivations, those come into play later.