Review: Twilight's Final Exam, by: Pascoite · 3:10pm Jul 2nd, 2016
During an afternoon tea with her former student, and now follow princess, Celestia realizes something. Twilight has never officially graduated from her School. So, purely as a formality of course, she suggest they head up and have a little graduation ceremony for her. Of course, just because it’s only a formality, doesn’t mean Twilight will be allowed to graduate without passing the school’s final exam....
Story: Here we have yet another entry in the list of “How it’s written” versus “What it’s about” deciding how you view it. Though this is in the minority for those cases, in that focusing more on the former will lend to you enjoying the story more, whereas it’s the latter that causes you to start having issues with it. It is all rooted in what exactly the test is. The student is sent into a dark room with no idea what is going on or going to happen beyond this is their final exam, where Celestia and the rest of the board for the school... well it’s not clear precisely what they do, put them to sleep would be the most likely. Either way next thing the student knows they are in a whole other world. Which, okay, that is actually a pretty good way to get some rather elaborate tests done and see how the student would react to situations that they could never quite do IRL. The issue is what ELSE they do... they go into the students mind, and rewrite their memories, their core being, they edit, delete, rewrite, and add whatever memories they feel like for the sake of the test. Such as making them believe this is all 100% real. That is where they cross the line. It is outright Mind Rape, albeit of a very, very tame, low level, and non-malicious variety. They are not trying to hurt the student. But nonetheless, it is an utter violation of their most private self, altering the very core of who they are, without the students knowledge or consent.
Now that alone does not necessarily make this fully wrong. But it does make it a place where any story has to tread very, VERY carefully to avoid missteps, has to be fully aware of the implications of what doing this can entail. Take great pains to make something like this work. That is not something this story does. It never acknowledges anything even potentially wrong, never seems to even think for a moment about the implications of this. I get the impression from the way the story is done, that the whole driving idea, was not so much the test itself, but rather putting Twilight in the various scenarios she finds herself in during the test. With the whole memory erasing/rewriting aspect, simply being seen as a means to an end and not thought about more. Which is pretty much the core of this story’s largest missteps. Not thinking things out fully.
Each individual segment of the test, in and of itself, without any thought to the very very questionable reasons for them to be taking place in the larger story, is actually pretty well done for what it is, and the writing quality during them is one of the high points of what the story does do well. Granted the key there is “For what it is” but I’ll get into those issues later. The problem is, if you can’t ignore those larger issues, can’t just not think about what is really going on... the entire thing falls apart, and what I feel was just meant as a bit of meaningless Excuse Plot to get to these scenarios, becomes a massive issue that utterly ruins what the story is trying to do.
There is simply so many issues, simply with the test itself. Let’s start with the rather minor Fridge Logic about the basic worldbuilding. So any unicorn that does not pass this test, is barred from ever using magic above the most basic level. That simply does not work. Without some law stating EVERY unicorn above a certain talent level must attend the school, how do you enforce that? How could Twilight have never heard about this requirement? Unless they are dragging every single unicorn that shows any skill off to be forced into this test, then the entire idea of “Pass this test or lose the right to do magic forever” is total bullshit. Starlight Glimmer, perfect example of how this whole idea fails. Proof that no, you do not need to attend Celestia’s School to learn to be a powerful mage. Which means having passing that school’s final exam be the be all and end all of being allowed to use magic... simply cannot work in any conceivable fashion. Yes most gifted unicorns will go to the school, but given there are entrance forms, tests, that there is a process to get enrolled, it’s clear not some royal mandate that EVERY unicorn with any skill must attend. If there was, how could Twi never have heard about having to graduate to use magic? The entire idea simply is utterly and totally impossible. And again shows a lack of thinking about the larger implications of the story’s ideas, and how they fit into the setting.
And it goes beyond that. in over 800 years, how has this test been kept a total and utter secret? Yes, everypony is told not to talk about it, it’s a stretch, but I can buy keeping the contents of the test a secret, but not the existence of it. Twilight even points out one major reason why at the start, logistics. How could they take every, single student, one by one into the basement for hours at a time, and not have an explanation for what was going on? Not have the fact there is a test get out, in ALL that time? But no the story wants it to be a total secret and so it is. Related to that, what the buck does it matter? Why even bother keeping it a secret at all, when they can just erase all memory of it from the student before it starts? Not to mention that would give them time to deal with getting ready for the emotional, and psychological trauma these tests put them through.
See those, are just kind of fun nitpicks overall, if they weren’t indicative of the bigger thing that brings this story down, not thinking things through. Rewriting a ponies mind without their knowledge of permission is dubious enough as is. But then we see what these ‘tests’ are. A series of Kobayashi Maru type scenarios. “No Win” situations, where there simply IS no ‘right’ answer. And ones that are rather brutal in just what the student is meant to believe is at stake, and with no way of knowing this is not real. Now yes a good point can be made about seeing how a pony reacts under that type of situation can be valuable. And they are right. But not under these circumstances. These aren’t testing leaders, aren’t seeing if ponies can make hard decisions because they will be faced with challenges like that while commanding troops, aren’t going to be placed in situations, where lives are on the line and there is no way to save everyone. They are teenagers/young adults graduating from magic school, who will mostly just go on to pursue magical research. There is no excuse for subjecting them, on this large a scale, to these kinds of situations... which simply having to do once can be traumatic enough. The kind of thing that leaves lasting mental scars if you aren’t already able to deal with them. Which none of these students will be trained for, or ready for. The entire series of tests is almost sadistic in what it puts the students through. Forces them to do... all while fully believing this is real, that they really have just committed treason and been maimed for life by Celestia herself, had a core part of who they are ripped from them forever. That they may have just condemned their best friend to lose her entire livelihood in another. To face not just one, but three of these types of deals (in theory, that middle one.. really is kind of too insignificant to be that traumatic, but the story still says it’s supposed to be a hard choice). Hell, subjecting someone to repeated no win situations, is the evil plan Project Freelancer used to torture the Alpha AI into ripping it’s mind apart to escape the pain. But again, seeing how a pony deals with these types of things, helping them prepare themselves for these eventualities. It is important. IF they are going to be in positions where they are likely to have to really face these, like commanding an army, or being a leader of some kind. If this had been a test specifically for Twilight. Some kind of training to be ready to assume her full responsibilities as a Princess. A test before she is placed in situations where Ponies lives really will hang on her decisions, and sometimes there will be no answer that does not hurt somepony. Then at least it would make some sense. It would still have a lot of other issues, but one less major one. But as something every, single unicorn with any talent for magic has to endure no matter what? When the only thing they want to do is spend the rest of their life buried in books studying alone or in a lab being a magical tech-geek. Or even simply living a regular, ordinary life. There is no reason to subject them to that much trauma. The story simply does not think about who this test is meant for, only seeing that it is Twilight taking it.
But alright, let’s look past that, and even if, and this is a huge if, you justify these tests. Can make a good case for what is learned and for making random ponies you have hauled in from some isolated town and shoved into your testing booth, simply because they showed enough magical talent to need to pass this test in order to use it. Since after all, not passing the test means you can’t use anything above basic magic, so that has to be the case unless that is a load of BS. Making hem undergo this. Once again the story is failing to actually think fully through everything, and instead just focusing on wanting to tell these little stories about Twilight dealing with things she would never deal with any other way. And so makes it’s come off even more horrific and sadistic. The whole ‘point’ was to see how Twilight would react, what choice she would make. Okay, forgetting all else and just assuming that nothing else is questionable. Why would the test then subject her to incredibly traumatic events, that she believes are real, after she has made her choice. After all data has been gleamed, why do the test then keep going until the most dramatically appropriate moment, rather then once the answer is given? Because the story treats these segments like stories it wants to tell, rather then what they really are. And so Twilight, for no reason at all having to do with anything, after she has made her decision, as answered the question, then has to suffer through having Celestia herself maim her for life. Has to live through the pain of having a mare she loves, rip away a part of her very self. For all intents and purposes, the ‘test’ is making Twilight live through having a limb ripped off, or her eyes gouged out. Losing an innate part of herself, in a way there is no direct human comparison to. For no reason at all, given the answer to the question was already given. Once she said “No” to Celestia that last time, there was no need for anything else. Or why would the test not end in the third part right after she made the call to the cops to set up her deal? Why make her agonize for hours over her decision, worry, sit in anticipation of what was coming, then spend likely even more hours being treated like a criminal, dragged to the police station, processed like any common thief. Make her go through all that.... when there was no reason for the test? Both of those are the same reason, the story is not thinking about these as “tests” but rather just seeing the ‘test’ as an excuse to tell these stories, and ending it like that was more ‘dramatic’. But the plain fact is, this IS supposed to be a test, and so doing this, it dose make things come off as unnecessarily cruel and sadistic to make them live through that for no reason.
And it gets even worse. Because the whole memory alteration thing that is the only reason these test even can exist as they are, render the very purpose of the test worthless. This is supposed to be testing to see what a pony would do under these circumstances, to truly test their morals. But by rewriting and removing their memories, altering key parts of who they are, you are never going to get valid results on that. Which means you are subjecting hundreds of thousands of innocent ponies to mental torment and Mind Rape... for no reason at all. You can make some random argument about “Well, it’s showing the ponies “True Self”. To which... well that leads into this massive philosophical debate over essentially “Nature versus nurture” and all that. But no matter what, this DOES impact the test, and does render the findings highly dubious at best. Celestia claimed one of the other purposes of the first test, was to see if ponies. (I’m sorry if Unicorns) would stand up to her. (So Earth Ponies and Pegasi need to just fall in line and not question? Or will never be in position to? I know it’s just a poor word choice and not what was meant, but it just goes to show ways in which even one wrong word choice can so thoroughly alter how something comes off if you don’t think about it.) But.... that test does not test that. Twilight is not standing up to the Princess Celestia she knows, nor able to even rationally think things through like she would if this was real. This scenario renders her judgement void by wiping her memories. Yes she still has her feelings for Celestia, still has this innate sense she should love and trust her, Her feelings did not change. But she lost all memory of WHY she feels that way, she has lost all context for those emotions, she does not have the facts of why she feels the way she does to weigh her decision with. But with Applejack, she has hard facts to support her reasoning. It tips the scales incredibly far against Celestia, and so is not indicative of how a pony would act if they HAD that context and those facts as well. And we even see more issues, with one of the reasons Twilight sides with AJ was because she lived here, this was her families town, Twilight felt she had a right to stay where she was born. Except... she wasn’t. That was Twilight’s own feelings and ghosts of her memories altering how she perceived things in ways divorced from the actual facts she was supposed to be weighing. Same for choosing between some ‘friends’ she only knows she’s friends with because she simply.. knows she is.. with no hard facts and context, no memories of bonding, no anything beyond being told she is. And two ponies she has spent real time with, has actually bonded with and has the hard context and facts about why she feels like she does about them. The memory alteration utterly ruins the whole point of the test.
And this section is dragging on way to long, but there really are that many issues that come with the very idea being used here, and above that, failing to fully think through all the implications and details in play. Focusing on just the three ‘test’ stories, with the rest just a kind of excuse to get to them. Now again each of those three was pretty good for what they were. The writing was extremely well done overall for them. Baring a lot of plot holes and things that don’t make sense in the first test, but that was kind of the point, to have a bunch of things that don’t quite make sense. Though the biggest one is never addressed. Why the pony who was Celestia’s right hoof, the one who came up with the entire idea of marking loyal ponies, was not herself marked in that way? As standalone stories, each one might be pretty good, if you are into those types of stories. But withing the larger context of the actual story, things fall apart because of all the holes, flaws, and issues with this entire set up. Causing the larger story itself to collapse in on itself.
Characters: What characters? This is another issue with the whole idea. For all of the testing, we know none of this matters. That none of these characters are real, just illusions. We know this has no actual meaning to them, no impact, these are just empty shells following their programming to act out a scenario. There is no reason to care about anything going on because of this. The only ‘real’ character is Twilight, and not even then for 2/3 of the tests because of the test rewriting who she is and putting her in situations that, she would never actually end up in and are so divorced from anything about her.. it’s hard to see this as ‘our’ Twilight. Even the nominal using this to get a better look at her character falls flat because of the above issues with the memory rewrite rending that void.
Using established ponies Twilight knows for this does not do the story any good at helping us care about things, because it just reinforces “This is not real.” We know these characters, and we know this is not them. So between knowing none of this matters to anypony but Twilight and she is the only one there is any reason to care about in the slightest, and Twilight herself being rewritten into being a different character for the sake of the tests, the only character that comes out of this story with any impact on her or anything learned about them is Celestia, and all of it bad.
First, all the issues pointed out above with how terrifying and potentially horrifying and traumatic the testing is, while not actually having any point or doing what she claims it does that makes it worth that. But she also seems to be utterly ignorant of any potential issues with this, just ignoring all these things, which makes her either lying, or kind of an idiot if she hasn’t thought this through in centuries. But there is another added level of wrongness in how she treats Twilight. She puts Twilight through all this, simply as a formality. Her only thought is “Of course you will pass” not even a hint about being concerned about subjecting her to this trauma. just that she’d ‘pass’. Totally ignoring her friends mental health and well being. Then, in the end, she makes it even worse with the casual remark of how, if Twilight had failed.. she would have just erased this whole thing from Twilight’s mind and pretended it never happened. Which is horrendous in it’s own right given how casual she is about mind raping her subjects on a whim. But also the logical holes of, will she be doing this to everypony who came to cheer Twi on? How will she explain this to them? Make them keep this a secret from her? All bad options. But if you’ve ever watched Babylon 5, well the phrase “There is a hole in your mind” comes up a lot, because one of the main arcs of the first season is the commander dealing with finding out he is missing a chunk of his memories, just a single day, but that alone is shown to be rather traumatic, just knowing it happened. But even without any implications, any overthinking, directly shows her as either an idiot, or a hypocrite, just from her own words. She tells Twilight one reason she put her through this was she felt that if Twilight somehow learned about this test despite it being the greatest kept secret in the world for centuries. She might feel bad about getting ‘special treatment’ and being allowed to skip it. Even though the reason for this is not ‘special treatment’ but all the stuff she has done to already prove her virtue. It’s not getting to skip the final because of you being buddies with the dean, but because of extra credit you earned outside of school. So, okay fair enough you can argue this point, but the ‘Either idiot of hypocrite” part comes in when right after that, she flat out tells Twilight that yes, she would get special treatment just for being herself. With a failure simply being swept under the rug and ignored rather then force her to give up magic like everypony else would have. So she first tries to tell Twilight giving her the test was to show her she is not getting special treatment, then immediately tells her that yes, she would get special treatment.
So yeah there is no character to care for or root for in this story. The only one who is real and not rewritten into somepony else, is kind of horrifying in how casually she will traumatize her ponies for no valid reason, all while being utterly ignorant of what she is doing.
Engagement: Honestly? Non-existent. Between the issues with the premise, the above lack of characters to care about, and one other issue below, as well as the shear number of times the story had me going “Oh for the love.. really?” I had little motivation to actually keep reading it. There was nothing in the story I cared about, and a large amount of it that just really annoyed me. there were only two things that made me keep going. A vague sense of morbid curiosity at how Celestia would justify this to Twilight, and for the sake of being able to do this review. And only the latter actually made me finish it.
Ponyness: Also a category the story has extreme trouble with. The whole idea of the test is bad enough, and utterly out of place in Equestria. But the stories it was used to set up, only one of them is in any way shape or form ‘pony’ the other two.. have not once single thing to do with MLP, Equestria, or anything in the show beyond having some character names slapped on them. First, the choice of settings, a High School, and a high end, big city, accounting, cubicle farm. Truly just what one always pictures being part of a fantasy world.
Both feel wholly out of place in the world of the show. While I could, maybe see a case being made for the latter one existing, High School? not a chance. Not only have we had zero hints of any kind of anything even remotely like it, and something that big we would have. But the entire idea of it is wholly at odds, and incompatible with everything about Equestria. There are a number of reasons, but to try and speed things up, let me post one specific quite someone made in an unrelated chat thread that sums up the issue.
[High school is] supposed to be about learning what you want to do with your life, preparing to become an adult, and possibly even landing your first job
All very true, and that is one of the main reasons, to help prepare teenagers for life and to help them start figuring out what they want to do with said life. Something that in Equestria, high school would be utterly antithetical to, because by that point, nearly every single pony knows precisely what it is they want to do, who they want to be, because by then, every pony will have gotten their cutie marks, which require having figured that out by then, and also show them exactly who and what they want to be. Now yes there are still going to be some ponies a bit lost, unsure about themselves, even with that. But they are a small minority of ponies. There is no reason for standardized, route, one size fits all schooling after their primary school, because every pony will know what field they want to go in, and so would be pursuing learning tailored to that.
Aside from the fact neither of these setting is one that seems like it should be in Equestria, is the fact not one thing about the story taking place in them feels at all ‘pony’. Makes no effort to make this connected to Equestria. You could do a find/replace all the “pony’ and ‘hoof’ and other pony related words with human ones, and not have to change a single thing in either story, beyond one scene that only serves to emphasize how little these stories are connected to the thing we are here to read about. Twilight’s talk with the guidance counselor. That is the only time magic is even brought up, and only to tell Twilight “you suck at it, forget about ever doing anything in that field”. But even more so, is the above, how by this point Twilight would have her Cutie Mark, so how is that never brought up? Never mentioned? It would be a symbol showing what she is meant to do, something that would play a huge role in this situation in Equestria, but is forgotten about here.
That is the heart of why neither of the last two are ‘pony’ stories. Nothing about them actually has anything at all to do with Equestria, MLP, even the characters we love, because they are just illusions, and Twilight needs to have her brain rewritten to fit into the scenarios. I actually had to catch myself after the counselor scene and realize why something about it felt odd..... I had been mentally picturing them as humans that whole time, because that was how the story treated them. These are a human, IRL based story, that just did a find/replace to add pony words, and tacked on one scene, that only serves to make clear how little the story even tried to fit into Equestria.
This is what I meant above about the individual stories being good “If you care for that type of story” because while these are well written stories in their own right, they are not pony stories, they have no connection to anything in the show, and feel totally out of place with it. There is not a hint of the fantasy setting no mention of magic beyond one scene saying Twilight sucks at it, further proving this is not our Twilight we are watching, but an altered, rewritten version, And the worst part? nothing about the stories really needs them to be this way, it’s a case of just not thinking it through, and not trying to mesh them in.
There are so many ways Equestrian idiosyncrasies and magic and ponies being ponies could alter them and make them both work as is, and be part of the world. Hell the High School one is the greatest offender for how utterly simple making it work is. And how much more sense it would make to just have it set in the school this is the final exam for in the first place. Why invent a whole other concept that is utterly foreign to ponies, rewrite the student’s mind that far to make them fit in it, instead of using what they already know? What is fresh in their minds? And what would actually feel like part of Equestria? It makes no sense beyond “that’s not what the author wanted.”
Now the first story, that is actually interesting idea and does do somewhat well in exploring concepts of Equestria, that, does work. But the set up for its whole thing as atrocious and utterly beyond what I can see ponies inflicting on each other, and the final two tests have no connection to Equestria at all.
Overall: Poor: Not sure which is going to be in play here, the fact this is so low being unsurprising, Or surprise that it isn’t lower. While I do have so so so many issues with the story, most of them are in how badly the ideas mesh with each other, or the implications of them the story ignores. The writing itself is good, and it did do a simply amazing job at conveying a sense of “Not quite right” in Twilight’s head. That odd, ghost of a sensation of a memory. Having the thought there, feeling the void of where it should be, feeling like something is missing, but not being able to place it. Those bits are pretty much the best examples of that type of thing I’ve seen. it was just what was causing them that was wrong. Those descriptions at being conveyed so well is the part of the story. And the actual writing itself is up on that level most of the time.
But none of that counters the shear amount of wrong with this idea in both the moral sense of the idea itself, and the execution of those ideas. The overall failing, to me, seems to be a result of a “Can’t see the forest from the trees” type scenario. So much effort went into focusing on the individual test stories, that the story never takes a step back to look at the overall shape of things. To examine how it works together, think out the implications, actually examine the basic facts. It so focuses on telling three different stories, it fails to make sure those stories work in the larger context of what it was placing them in. Those scenarios are, in and of themselves, well done if taken on their own, but utterly divorced from Equestria and the show in two out of three cases, with no effort but one token scene to bridge the gap, which only exacerbates and shows exactly what this is not fitting. As well as being utterly altered in tone, meaning, everything when looked at in the larger context of the story.
Great writing, that was hampered by a story that simply was not well thought out or implemented. The biggest nail in it’s coffin, is a phrase I used above, “that’s not what the author wanted.” That phrase, to me, is the death knell of a story. When the ONLY plausible explanation for why something happened the way it did in a story is that answer.. it is the point where you have utterly and totally failed as a storyteller. It’s bad enough when it’s just one thing, or a few little bits. but when so much of the core of the whole story relies on that? No amount of good writing can save it.
Don’t have a youtube vid to embed here, rather
So... pretty much 'eyup' to everything here.
I summarizes it thusly: This would be worse than the Enterprise crew blaming Picard for what he did as a Borg.
Also, I would like to note that part you mentioned about replacing all the 'pony' terms rendering it indistinguishable from any other world: I had the same issue with the episode "Spice of Life". Now, it was a 'good' story, a solid enough plot and characters... but if you took out the pony references there was literally NOTHING that kept it from being, say, a plot lifted straight from "The Facts of Life" or "Three's Company" or "The Simpsons". It was too 'generic' a plotline, and really one that's been used before *coughratatouillecough* in a major motion picture with much more interesting nuances.