Review: The Dread Chitin, by: Karazor · 3:32pm Apr 22nd, 2016
After an attempt at creating a portal spell goes wrong, Twilight and RD become stranded on a strange world, even more inhospitable and filled with horrifying abominations whose only purpose is to slaughter everything else then Australia. But with the help of a new friend who had been stranded in that hell hole years before, they just might survive long enough for Twilight to find a way to get them all home. But, is it a good idea to bring this ‘human’ back to Equestria with them?
Story: A very straightforward story, very few narrative based twists or turns. Twilight’s spell screws up, Dash and her get pulled into the portal to Hell’s Reach, meet the local wildlife, get saved from local wildlife by Duran, then spend the next few weeks in his safe house, Twilight working on figuring out a way to get them home while Duran and Dash start to bond. Fairly simple, yet not in any bad way. Just a very direct, well paced story.
I did enjoy how the story managed to do a good job of making clear what an utter and completely hellish death world this place is, while having our characters spend pretty much the entire story safe and secure in their bunker. Between the opening encounter with the Murderpedes, and Duran’s stories about his life on the planet so far, it manages to make clear what is going on and how bad this place is, without needing to have constant action or tension that could wear things out. This also helps make the few action scenes that do happen all the better for not being overdone. All the action is fast paced, yet not confusing, giving a very clear idea of what is going on, while still racing along quickly. Maybe not quite a ‘gold standard’ for action scenes, but still some really really well done ones.
I really have little else to comment on narrative or story wise. Just a well executed, fundamentally simple story that doesn't have many twists or turns, but instead focuses on making what it does have all the more well used. Though one minor irritation, not quite a plot hole, but more a “Wait, what?” So the spell that Twilight made came about because of her finding an old magical treatise that she wanted to perfect. Fair enough. And we later find out this original treatise was made by Princess Luna, also fair enough. Can see that working. But why in Tartarus would a magical treatise written by Princess Luna over a thousand years ago, be sealed in a hidden area of the Ponyville Library? That said, one other point I do appreciate is how this quickly sets up that magic is just another field of study for ponies. It is something they are constantly evolving, finding new aspects of it, always discovering new ways it can be used, constantly coming to a deeper and more thorough understanding of it. It’s something awesome enough in it’s own right, but really helps set up some stuff for the sequel, while still being a nice bit of worldbuilding in it’s own right.
Characters: One reason the story itself is so uncomplicated, is most of the focus isn’t on what is happening, but rather on how the characters respond to it. It’s not quite a purely character focused story, but it does have a fairly large emphasis on it. And given there are only three characters in the story, and only one of them serves as a viewpoint character for all but the first and last bits, might as well take them one by one.
First up, Rainbow Dash. I really like this take on the polychromatic pegasus. I genuinely believe there is a really strong case for RD being the second most intelligent of the Mane 6, it’s just that she suffers from a very sever case of Brilliant but Lazy, she will only exert any effort learning something that interests her, that she finds worth it. And as Testing Testing, 1, 2 3 showed, she has a really high ability to retain and process information, so long as she doesn’t think to hard about doing it. She has a really narrow field of interest, but within that field she is crazily smart and quick to learn new things. After all, she did beat Twilight of all ponies in a nerd-off about a subject they both loved. So I definitely loved that aspect of her personality being on full display here. Though I do have to say it might have gone a tad far in some spots. While I can totally get behind RD being able to map out complicated trajectories and vectors in her head, I have a harder time seeing her being able to be good at that in school, where you need to show the math.
The other main aspect that the story also does a great job with is her loyalty. Not in the over done “I’m the Element of Loyalty” making a big deal about it deal, but the more subtle, simply have her acting in ways that compliment that attribute. Having her worry so much about others, how quickly she connects with Duran after he helps them, wondering how some of this advanced technology could be used to help keep other ponies safe. Being willing to go all out in a fight to keep Duran and Twilight safe, refuses to even consider leaving Duran behind. All a very great fit for her and very good use of her character.
Then we come to Twilight, who I do not think comes off quite as good as Dash. For the most part, she is spot on Book Horse, her initial experiment was done smartly, taking precautions. The mistake wasn’t on her part, but rather her spell failing to account for a variable she had no way of knowing even existed at that point. Her efforts to get them back, or response to finding the wealth of information in the bases library, all of it was perfectly well done. The issue comes in her attitude towards Duran. That she would, even for a moment, consider the possibility of leaving him in this hell hole. Not that her concerns are unwarranted, but this is very beneath the future Princess of Friendship to even consider abandoning someone who risked his life for you, simply out of a ‘maybe’. She admittedly does not make a case for leaving him, just entertains a “Are we really sure this is a good idea?” mentality. But even that seems rather out of place in her. If anyone, I’d expect RD to be the one who is more suspicious of someone new.
Which brings us to the non-pony OC, Duran. I really liked him. The story managed to do a good blend of a kind, open, fun individual that really cares about others, and the bitter, scared, battle hardened survivor who has spent over a decade all alone, living in a hellish world. Surviving primarily out of a stubborn headed refusal to give up. You can tell how deeply scarred he is by his ordeal, but at the same time he is never anything but friendly, caring, and accommodating to his guests. One of the best aspects being his attitude about coming with the ponies back to Equestria. You can tell he wants to go, he wants to be out of this place. But at the same time he is hesitant, there is some sense that he afraid to do it, to even hope it might happen, and also some part that simply doesn’t want to leave. This has been his life for so long, he can’t even count. it’s become what he is used to, the idea of changing that can be scary, can be something you would hesitate over. Add to that it’s been so long since he’s had any hope, that he’s scared to think this might happen, scared to take the risk and have it fail. All while having a bit of Stockholm Syndrome like issues with this planet. He knows it, has come to survive there, in some ways feels like he is a part of it. Has come to take it’s dangers and horrors as simply ordinary, how life is. I just really love the shadings of complexity there, while still being mostly subtle about just what is going on in his head.
So all around, a really good cast to go through the story with. A few minor issues when it comes to one issue regarding Twilight, but other then that, loved them.
Engagement: Average. While not exactly a page gripper that is impossible to put down, it’s also a story that never really makes you feel bored or like it’s a good time to put it down. It gets right to the important stuff quickly, is well paced, start right off with Twilight’s experiment going wrong and her and RD trying to deal with their first taste of Hell’s Reach. But the rest is low key enough, while good enough, that it’s easy to put down if you have to. With the exception of the action scenes, those are exceptionally well down, the action intense, frantic, while never leaving you lost as to what is happening or dragging out to long. And with just two real major ones, they don’t get old. Just a well balanced overall story in terms of pacing, and intensity. And also having a few little bits of foreshadowing and hints that make it worth a few second reads as well, while still being just as enjoyable the second time, if not more so.
Ponyness: Given all but one chapter and the epilogue of the story take place in an entirely different world, not a lot of ‘pony’ to the story beyond Twilight and RD, who as above were done fairly well, with maybe a few minor possible issues. But still a good use of the characters. About the only real complaint I’d have about it is just how hard the story pushed ponies as being pacifists, with Twilight’s reaction to the very idea of humans fighting each other seeming a bit naive about how ‘perfect’ ponies are. With RD calling herself a ‘freak’ for how often she gets into fights. It just felt like it pushed things a bit to hard, tried to overemphasize things. While yes, Ponies on the whole are peaceful, they also will not hold back when it comes to dealing with threats. Having the future Princess-of-Blasting-Giant-Demonic-Bad-Guys-in-the-Face-With-Magical-Super-Lasers be so aghast at the very idea of RD fighting against the hordes of murderbugs that would be trying to rip her apart the moment she tried to open the portal to get them home. It just felt a tad off. But that is really the only bit that did as far as how Ponies were presented. And to be fair to the story, that whole “Violence of any kind is just plain bad.” attitude could have been meant more as a Twilight only thing then a pony wide thing. Her being sheltered and a bit naive, but that doesn’t really fit her either. Fluttershy sure, Twilight, not so much.
Now as to the other half of the ‘crossover’ the fact this is the first time I’ve even mentioned it being a crossover should tell you how big a part of the story it is. Which is actually a really well done way for the story to handle it. This is technically a sort of crossover with the Battletech ‘verse. In that the secure base the characters are bunkered down in is an abandoned base from one of the Battletech factions. And the tech they are marveling at is based on that ‘verse. Really, that is rather meaningless for the story, where this came from doesn’t matter, it could have been any established Sci-fi setting and things could have worked just as well for the story. It’s less a full on crossover then an extended reference/cameo to that ‘verse. As such, it is a more or less perfect way to handle something like this. It’s clear there is more there, but someone who has no idea about the ‘verse is not lost, things are presented simply enough that we know the basics, we recognize Power Armor, it doesn’t really matter which version this is. While at the same time, those who are fans of Battletech get a bit extra fun in being able to tell the details. Just a really well handled ‘crossover’ in the whole.
Overall:Great: A very competently done story with a good blend of character interaction, tension, and some really awesome action scenes. The pacing was good, the writing solid, the only major issue other then the mostly nitpicks or minor issues above is the epilogue. It felt very... jarring? Forced? Out of place? Not in what happens, but more in how it’s told. Hitting an almost uncanny valley effect with how much and how little is told and how it’s done. Being too detailed to just be a quick summary of events, a kind of “Where are they now” type ending. But skipping around to much to really feel like part of the story. Focusing on a lot of random things that really didn’t matter for what was going on. They were nice to see, but the way it was done felt very off. Also simply telling something to the audience that no one in story knew. Which was another thing that made the epilogue fell out of place. The entire rest of the story was told directly through some characters POV (Barring the prologue that was just an audio recording of the accident that sent Duran to Hell’s Reach) While the epilogue is just some omniscient narrator telling us what happened. While it does give some closure for things, it’s bigger purpose was to set things up for the sequel more then compliment this story itself. But still a very great story overall, and one I’d say is a definite must read for any fans of Sci-Fi ponies.
That's interesting. I found myself rather unimpressed with The Dread Chitin, though I can't recall the details why.
Loved the sequel though. Will you be reviewing that story as well?
3888785 It is a fairly low-key story with not really a whole lot happening beyond RD wondering around some human base and bonding with Duran. So yeah can see some people just kind of 'meh'.
And yup, sequel coming up soon. And yeah it is a lot better then the first one.
3888785 And the review of the sequel is up now.