The Bawdy Pegasus Farmhand - Parody Story

AKA: The Lusty Pegasus Changeling

What do you get when you take The Elder Scroll's "The Lusty Argonian Maid" story and mash it together with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic? If you guessed this little project, then well, yuuuupp!

This started off as an off-hand joke on a different site's forum game, suggesting I'd ship their red-coated pegasus-changeling OC with Big Mac and I was a bit bored, and amused so I offered. At the time, something had reminded me of "The Lusty Argonian Maid", so I went with that idea. This was nearly two months ago, I only just now decided to post it on FiMFiction.

So, why am I posting about this here, instead of as a story on the site? Well, because of this little rule on the list of what NOT to post as a story: "Stories written in chat or script format. This includes stories in which dialogue is indicated like this: “TWILIGHT: I sure do love books!” ". If you are familiar with The Lusty Argonian Maid story, you might remember that it is written in script format, as if for a play (they're excerpts of a play, as I recall). This is how I wrote this parody. Because of this, at the time I obviously couldn't post it on FiMFiction as a story, but I decided to post it now as a Blog Post instead. That should be alright, no?

Cover image is a basic edit of a Fluttermac I found online, and inserting Ruby Redcross in Flutter's stead. As it was a rushed job, it naturally looks a little rough. Source of the original Fluttermac image below.

I'll be adding it to my list of eBooks, since I've gone and made it into one.

Grab the .RTF Version: Download Link
The eBook Pack: Download Link
^The pack contains the raw (no image) .RTF, EPUB, MOBI (Kindle), PDF, and LIT formats, as well as the aforementioned .RTF with its own image. I suggest grabbing this pack unless you really only want the .RTF (with the image) for some reason.

OC Ruby Redcross by: Crymax
Source for Big Mac Image: http://asdflove.deviantart.com/art/FlutterMac-307217570
A couple minor grammatical corrections made to the story that someone pointed out, updated the DLs as well: April 20, 2016

Without further ado, here is the short script/story presented on FiMFiction (Blog). I hope you enjoy reading it! I got a kick out of writing it, it was a nice diversion ^_^

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The Bawdy Pegasus Farmhand
AKA: The Lusty Pegasus Changeling
By: Shadow of Death | Shadowhoof

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OC: Ruby Redcross, a half-changeling Pegasus created by Crymax on FiMFiction: (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Crymax)
Parody of: "The Lusty Argonian Maid" from The Elder Scrolls series.
Introduction: Ruby Redcross is a half-changling Pegasus mare who has found herself in the employ of the Apple family under the supervision of Big Mac whilst his sister is away on hero business.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Act I, Scene IV
Ruby Redcross:
Oh my, but that is a big tool you have, however do you manage to carry around that burden by your lonesome all day?
Big Mac:
It is my burden alone to carry.
Ruby Redcross:
But why sir?
Big Mac:
Family legacy.
Ruby Redcross:
That tool is...a legacy, sir? Are you saying it is your inheritance?
Big Mac:
Eeeyup. Passed down from father to son to assist in the spreading of seed.
Ruby Redcross:
Oh, but perhaps it may be permissible that someone may...assist you in relieving the burden at times?
Big Mac:
Only mah wife may do so. Are you offering?
Ruby Redcross:
Dear me, that's rather sudden. In these rural parts is it not a wife's duty to offer assistance upon the setting of the sun?
Big Mac:
Eeeyup. But ahm open to wifely help during the day, if you have the energy to spare.
Ruby Redcross:
Oh my stars, during the day as well...

Act III, Scene II

Big Mac:
That is quite a trick you can do with your body
Ruby Redcross:
*Gasps* But you were not supposed to see, it is not meant for prying eyes to witness!
Big Mac:
Figured, but I heard a strange sound escape your lips and thought I should look in on you.
Ruby Redcross:
And your wandering gaze saw more than expected?
Big Mac:
Eeeyup.
Ruby Redcross:
Whatever will you do with this secret of mine? I am at your mercy.
Big Mac:
I'll keep quiet...
Ruby Redcross:
Such a scandalous secret? Why would you be so kind, or do you attempt the nefarious and exploit my weakness?
Big Mac:
I'm fond of your charms and would not want to hurt when you've done no harm to me and mine.
Ruby Redcross:
You are truly a gentlestallion, sir! However may I repay you, if it is within my power I should like to grant it.

Act IV, Scene I

Big Mac:
You said I could ask you a favor.
Ruby Redcross:
You but have to name it sir!
Big Mac:
Could you...relieve me of my burden tonight?
Ruby Redcross:
But that is the duty of your future wife, is it not? Surely it would be improper...
Big Mac:
My burden is great, I cannot handle the load of seed much longer.
Ruby Redcross:
I do not wish to shame your legacy!
Big Mac:
That is why I have this to make it proper.
Ruby Redcross:
*gasps* Truly, you do nothing small.
Big Mac:
Nnnnope.
Ruby Redcross:
But sir, would your family approve?
Big Mac:
Eeeyup.
Ruby Redcross:
Truly? Even with my questionable stock?
Big Mac:
I have kept the secret, they need not know.
Ruby Redcross:
There should be no secrets between family!
Big Mac:
.....Eeeyup.
Ruby Redcross:
Then we should go speak to the matriarch and gain her consent.

Act VI, Scene V

Big Mac:
My blushing bride, are you ready?
Ruby Redcross:
I am receptive on this night of all nights for we have just wed.
Big Mac:
My tool for spreading seed is prepared.
Ruby Redcross:
But its size has increased considerably!
Big Mac:
Eeeeyup, that is how it works.
Ruby Redcross:
I have not prepared for such, I do not know if I can take it!
Big Mac:
It is ready to burst, to spill the seed is to waste it!
Ruby Redcross:
I shall not shame you, I will endure it!
Big Mac:
*Ummphhh*
Ruby Redcross:
*clenching of teeth*
Big Mac:
*Grunt*...It's...coming.
Ruby Redcross:
*Groan* I am not sure...how much longer I can bear it!...
Big Mac:
*Sigh of relief* The task is done!
Ruby Redcross:
*Moans* It is easier to bear, now that it is empty of seed.
Big Mac:
Eeeeyup.
Ruby Redcross:
I hope my inexperience didn't disappoint you?
Big Mac:
You did well for your first time
Ruby Redcross:
Truly?
Big Mac:
Eeeyup.

Act IX, Scene II

Big Mac:
*grunt*
Ruby Redcross:
*moan*
Big Mac:
....Better now?
Ruby Redcross:
*Panting* ......With all the experience I have had, day and night, I feel my endurance rising to the occasion when called!
Big Mac:
Eeeeyup. It is time to do it in the field.
Ruby Redcross:
I'm not sure I am prepared love, what if someone sees? I'm not sure I am up to such a spectacle!
Big Mac:
You are.
Ruby Redcross:
Then let us go spread seed in fertile fields.
Big Mac:
Eeyup shmoopy-poo.
Ruby Redcross:
...Wat?
Big Mac:
...Nevermind.