Hello Again, Friendlies · 12:30am Apr 19th, 2016

Good morrow to all you young lassies and lads still ripe upon the tree of life--

Okay, pardon the verbosity--I'm actually completely unsure about how to proceed and expound upon my absence...

I'm living in Washington now, eh! Lookee me, up here in 90F weather--what the what?! I know, it's an usually hot spring day up here, and I'm typing like I haven't wrote anything and have been drowning in mental and emotional smoke for some five months--perhaps because I have!

I moved up here some drear November eve some five months past, and there have been ups and downs, and an overwhelming cloud of deluging depression. Oh, however it may be, let us not together dive in that muck, and steer away toward the future of my page and stories, for which a chief number of you followed me (as for those who followed me chiefly for our friendship, I hope to continue our friendship perhaps now mostly on skype, phone, and facebook, if possible (the latter two being the best ways to contact me)--chances are I will be here sometimes, but, as so far, as far as I can see into the foreseeable future, those times will sadly be short and far between).

STORIES:
Hiatus. All them, hiatus--until, at some unforeseeable time, that I move out of this trailer beside this house, with no space to myself, and have finally my own room to think and write. However clunky my words are--and I feel when they are--they require a sort of meditation, in which I lose myself and am able to just let the words flow as fast or slow as they come. And my present living conditions, though not at all entirely unbearable, are unbearable to my own creativity. I know I've talked about the inability to write under such and such conditions, and I am sure many, including my family, can't see why I can't just get over it and do it. And, perhaps, at some time, I can, but now, I cannot. As my writing process runs, I cannot work where I cannot lose myself, and there are too many things around me here at present that pull me away like a lasso. I write to express myself in a way I otherwise cannot--perhaps that sounds to glorified, but to those who feel similarly, they can surely also attest there is no glory in the sense of self-righteousness, only glory in writing the truth the best one can, knowing that even these words may sink into oblivion--so you write for its own sake, to meditate, to express, to tell the truth, to remember, to relive, to forget....

MYSELF:
My presence here, for probably a long while yet, will be rare. Perhaps dreadfully rare. I don't feel I need to go into great length about my emotions or mental states, merely let it to be said, under an umbrella, I've been depressed. Awfully depressed. I'm trying to get a job now at a tea place, which I hopefully will get hired into soon so I can have some funds for things like Super Smash Bros. locals and tourneys, tea, books, art supplies, food, travel, phone stuff, video games, bird stuff for my bird, clothes, a guqin, event somethings, et cetera.... My present plans are: job, publish stories through local community college's help, SSB stuff, perhaps, and spiritual stuff--who can say what that means?--mostly searching and researching, I reckon, and probably settling on nothing at all. A definition is a cage.

For those who may wish to talk to me more and outside FiMFic, you can always dm your email and I can email you back, and we can start a correspondence!

Here's to seeing you regularly again sooner than I expect--
*a sip of tequila*
--cheers, mates! Love you all!

----HeartTortoisePigeonDog (Nicholas)

(You close friends, you damnwell know who you are, you better contact me--I miss y'all so dang much!)