Just a talk

WARNING: MORE RANTS

How's everyone doing? Good? That's nice.

So, it’s been more than a while since I last posted a new chapter or something, and I feel like I need to explain some things… just to get it off my chest. And of course, it’s about writing and art.

I have been caught in a grind, with depression coming back and really hitting me for the past month or more, and now getting sick more often than usual (I'm just recovering from a bad cough after over a week). Not only that, there are some things happening around in my life that is making me fall back and lose motive in writing and art.

The reason why is because I am having a tough time with not only life getting my way, but I feel like I’m comparing myself with other artists or authors. When I read a story from another author, I really enjoy it, whether it is romance, action, or comedy. Then I look and mine and see… well, what I have. When I write a new chapter, I find myself trapped in a certain scenario figuring out which direction to go. Then, I write, erase, go in a different direction, erase. It’s almost like an endless loop until I just give up.

Then there is the writing and publishing. When I’m almost complete with a chapter, I check, recheck, take some things out, check, change a few things here and there, check, etc. Of course, I have some editors helping me out. But then, I feel very hesitant when it comes to publishing it. My anxiety gets to me if people will like what I have or not (which is also why it takes longer to write).

Finally, there are the criticisms. Don’t get me wrong, some comments I get are helpful (and some are a little questionable) for me to improve. And of course I have editors assisting me. The problem is that after a while, they start to crawl back into your mind, and all I do is spend time after time researching what is what, and then losing motive to write because I'm afraid what critics are going to say if I publish. Yes, I do get positive comments, and I appreciate them no matter what. But, when it comes to criticism, it feels like they stand out more (maybe because of the length).

So yeah, that’s why things have been slow and I have been away from writing. And you know what? Sitting here typing on my laptop does help me feel a bit better. I enjoy writing and drawing, and I want to be an animator in the future. And in the end, we’re all just humans just doing what we love on this website; writing, interacting, venting out frustrations (like me), etc.

But before I continue to ramble on more (because I’m already close to 500 words), I just want to say thank you to you all. To see the likes and favorites to my stories, and positive feedback is really heartwarming And another thing I want to do is interact with you more. Well, thanks for reading (or skimming) through my long rant.

~And I will see you on the hills