Property of Officer Hot-Pants. 
Feel free to add me on discord: NA_Widowmaker#1810
I hope everyone is doing well.
Some roses are pink
this assistant is too.
If you bought me dinner
I'd be dinner for you.
...but I regret the choices I didn't make moreover.
Hey guys, I'm a little worried. About 4 years ago these two large growths appeared on my chest and they haven't stopped growing. They're about the same size and protrude from my chest by about 8cm (4 inches) Is this something I should see a doctor about? If anyone thinks they can diagnose the issue I'll gladly send some pictures. I really hope it isn't anything serious.
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Hm... well, it might be cancer, but I'm not certain. I'll have to take the hands-on approach for my inspection.
No, I don't have a doctorate. Why do you ask?
It's either you have a special type of breast cancer (which I doubt because if it was and four years have past then that's just weird) or if you were flat chested then your boobs have been growing since four years ago
I'm a doctor send me pictures of the lumps in question
I'm a doctor. Send me pics and I'll come up with a diagnosis.
Well, I can have a look... just to be safe. Totally trained in the medical profession.
You may have a rare form of boobidus, a deadly disease that can only be cured through the sending of pictures to horny 18 year Olds. I.e. me
Even though I'm getting my medical degree, it's very easy to say that those lumps are called breasts.
3803375 As a doctor (totally not a lie >.>) I support this theory.
I laughed so hard when I read this
i.ytimg.com/vi/d80qqm_qzFY/hqdefault.jpg
Are there smaller protrusions on the tips of these masses?
When you jump up and down do they flip and flop around?
When you lay on your back do they hang "east and west"?
Do men stare at them ?
I think I might know what those are- funny thing is I have the SAME THINGS
Are we talking about boobs? Because I happen to be an expert in those!
Liar.
Shut your mouth!
3803400 YES!
I giggled
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/a/a1/FANMADE_Discord_pipe_monocle.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120104010428
I'd have to see them to give you a better suggestion, but in the event they are what I assume them to be you are in luck.
cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/54939377.jpg
I thought I was the only one.
3803358
3803363
3803375
3803407
3803412
3803436
Y'all are desperate and gameless!
3803460 Desperate? No, not in any way.
Enjoying a bit of harmless fun? Oh hell yes. My only regret is not finding a better meme for the second image used.
3803464 ... I am only slightly convinced... Then again, harmless fun never hurt anyone did it?
3803460 I keep telling him that, but he just won't listen. And desperate is too weak a word really.
I will gut you with a spoon!
Can't imagine why you're sin- *strangles
3803469 Not yet it hasn't.
3803460
Look at your own comment dumb-dumb. Then tell us who's desperate.
3803484 Relax friend, it was a joke
3803484 Bro, his comment is meant to be seen as harmless just like ours.
3803488
3803487
Sorry guys. I get angry whenever someone calls me desperate or gameless. Please forgive me.
3803471 How can we be this much fun and still be single?
3803476 Then let it continue.
3803492 Sorry if I offended you.
3803495 Because they can't handle our swagger.
3803506 Explanation accepted... if I had any swagger to back it up.
3803495
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/6/21/14637__safe_pinkie+pie_human_loki_artist-colon-reaperfox.png
3803492 No worries. Miscommunication is common on formats like this.
3803495 Huh? Sorry, I was burying the body.
*muffled* I'm not dead!
Quiet you! I couldn't tell you. I honestly have no clue.
Speaking for PT, it may be lack of confidence. In othe words, he needs to man up and put himself out there. OW!
That'll teach you to bring logic into this!
3803500
Don't worry about it man.
3803518
Indeed they are my friend.
3803460 I will fight you m8
I'm afraid that before I see any pictures, I must take you out for dinner first. Common courtesy from medical school you see.
3803532 Smartest answer I've seen here
3803442 top kek
3803533 An unspoken rule taught to us by the totally legit professors in the totally legit medical school I totally went too.
It's a creed every aspiring doctor/gentleman should follow.
3803541 Yes, I believe it is from University University.
Go Universals!
3803518
That actually makes a lot of-
Loli, speak and I will remove you from existence!
But you just said-
No strawberries for a week!
GAH! NONONONO! Okay, I'm keeping it to myself now!
3803519
3803523 Put 'em up!
3803532 <~~ See this? This is a man with class.
I'll just pretend i didn't read all of these comments.
3803548 3803545
*Quietly plays Somebody To Love by Queen in the background*
Someone's got to show you Americans how it's done.
3803548 Seems I'm not the only one who can't get their creator to listen to reason. Ours is a hard life. STOP BURYING ME!
imgflip.com/s/meme/Overly-Manly-Man.jpg
3803556 My Anglo jealousy is real
3803566 You'll learn the secrets one day. Have faith.
And University University is still going strong today! I mean sure it closed down 5 years ago, but when you compare it to Trump University it's practically Oxford University!
Best Blog derail ever.
It's a new type a cancer caused by...
static1.e621.net/data/16/34/1634cfdb8cdfbf6b1e6c67fd206bb044.png
3803548 *Taunts* Poo! You are died!
I'm afraid a description isn't enough, I'm gonna need to see the growths for myself before I can give a proper diagnosis
... Is this serious?